My Daughter-in-Law Didn’t Invite Me to the Family Thanksgiving Dinner She’s Hosting

A woman hosted her own Thanksgiving dinner after her daughter-in-law did not invite her to their celebration, while everyone else in the family was welcome to join. As it turned out, the woman’s other family members decided to go to her holiday celebration instead.

Nurturing a harmonious relationship between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law is no easy feat, and many times, women find themselves walking on eggshells around their husband’s mom.
Having raised her son for many years under her control, a mother may find a challenge in giving up the reins and watching her boy prioritize a new family with a new woman in his life. Values and different perspectives may also contribute to potential disagreements between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law.

However, starting on the wrong foot may be one of the biggest issues to fix in such a relationship. Unfortunately, such was the situation of a woman who sought help from the Reddit community about her strained relationship with her daughter-in-law.

Her Daughter-in-Law Got Pregnant in College

The woman’s daughter-in-law was her son’s college sweetheart. However, as a young couple, their relationship did not have the best foundation. They dated for two months, had a cool-off, became friends with benefits, and ultimately got back together. Shortly after, the girl found out she was pregnant.

At that time, the woman’s son claimed they were not in an exclusive relationship and were seeing other people, so she asked him to get a paternity test. As it turned out, the child was his. The woman shared:

“The first time I met her, she told me it was not a pleasure to [meet] the person who thinks she is a whore. (Never called her that). I tried to explain but got cut off by my son.”

A Strained Relationship

Even though the girl married the woman’s son in what she called a “shotgun wedding” and is the mother of the woman’s grandchild, their relationship remains strained. Besides seeing her daughter-in-law during family gatherings, they do not talk or meet.

The woman has reached out by inviting her daughter-in-law and son to meet, only to be blown off several times. At one point, she accepted that she would not be as involved as a mother or grandmother in their family.

Their family set-up for the holidays usually rotates per household, and that year, it was her daughter-in-law’s turn to host Thanksgiving. The woman then messaged details of the celebration, inducing what time she should come and if she should bring anything to add to the spread. The woman said:

“She told me I wasn’t invited, but my husband is.”

Hosting Her Own Thanksgiving

After discussing things with her husband, the woman decided to host her own Thanksgiving. She informed her other family members of the changes, including why she was having her own dinner.

The other family members decided not to attend the daughter-in-law and her husband’s Thanksgiving celebration. Soon enough, the couple started messaging the woman, calling her harsh words and demanding she cancel her dinner.

The woman had the chance to explain to her son about her daughter-in-law uninviting her to their event, which he said he did not know of. The son believed his mother was hosting her own holiday dinner to annoy her daughter-in-law.

The woman’s Reddit post received several responses, most of which were from people who believed she was not wrong to host her own dinner party. One Reddit user claimed that the daughter-in-law knew other family members would pick a side, and they sided with the mom.

Meanwhile, other community members called out the woman’s son for not mediating the entire relationship between his wife and mother. They believe he was also suspicious in telling his mom his love story with his wife.

Do you think the woman was right to host her own Thanksgiving dinner? What would you have done differently or similarly in this situation?