Should I tell my brother?

In the heart of a serene farmhouse nestled on a sprawling property, a mother’s world turned upside down as she stumbled upon a painful truth. A family reunion, initially intended as an opportunity for togetherness took an unexpected turn, leaving the matriarch in a state of shock and confusion.

In July 2020, an anonymous female poster shared her story in Reddit’s “Relationship Advice” forum. The Original Poster (OP) revealed how her brother, aged 37, along with his wife and two children, moved into the large farmhouse owned by her and her farmer husband.

The intention was to create a harmonious living arrangement, allowing everyone to work remotely and providing OP’s nieces with the charm of farm life. OP, aged 44, was already a mother to three children, all of whom lived with her and her husband. The kids included an 18-year-old son, a 16-year-old daughter, and a 13-year-old daughter.

On the day her brother arrived at her farmhouse, OP went on a routine trip to buy groceries with her son. She bought food while he purchased his gym supplements from the nearest pharmacy. When her son returned home, OP noticed an unexpected item in her 18-year-old son’s bag — two packs of condoms, totaling 72. She dismissed it at the time, attributing it to responsible behavior in a newfound relationship.

Despite being taken aback and utterly speechless, OP kept herself composed and decided not to confront them.

Months passed, and the family routine continued with apparent normalcy. The brother, his wife, and the eldest son engaged in early morning runs around the farm, creating an illusion of a close-knit family.

OP didn’t sense anything unusual until June 2020 when her son and SIL supposedly left for their morning run but she didn’t see them make any rounds around the farm, despite being awake in the morning baking something delicious for the family.

“I asked about it and they said they decided to hit the road (I [thought] nothing of this everything seemed normal). My SIL and son seemed to have a very good bond,” explained OP. However, the idyllic facade would soon shatter.

A day before sharing her story online, OP was returning home from a friend’s house early in the morning when something struck her. The sun wasn’t up yet, and the sky was a little dark, allowing her to notice that the cabin on her farm was open with a light still on.

OP walked over to turn off the lights and close the door, thinking that perhaps one of the workers forgot to lock up the cabin. Just when she was about to close the door and switch off the lights, something caught OP’s attention. Moving closer, she heard people making love, which triggered her to sneak a peek.

To OP’s dismay, it was none other than her oldest son and 34-year-old sister-in-law sharing physical intimacy. Despite being taken aback and utterly speechless, OP kept herself composed and decided not to confront them.

Reeling from the shock and feeling conflicted, OP couldn’t help but wonder about the timeline of her son and SIL’s allegedly close relationship. The shock was palpable, leaving OP grappling with a myriad of emotions.

The revelation posed a series of challenging decisions – should she confront them? Should she disclose the truth to her brother? What about her husband? The weight of the secrets she now harbored cast a somber shadow over the once-harmonious family home.

Reflecting on the signs she had overlooked–the unexplained morning runs, the seemingly close relationship between her son and sister-in-law, and the abundance of condoms–OP found herself at a crossroads. Thereafter, she turned to random strangers online for help and advice.

OP’s narrative received an overwhelming response from fellow readers, many of whom shared their thoughts in the comments. “I grew up on a farm and I’m just going to give you the advice no one here has yet – hide the guns. Lock them up in a safe if you have one and put the key in a new place. No matter how you handle this it’s gonna be bad. I’m surprised at people’s advice to go to your brother first,” suggested one user.

“Talk to your husband first, then your son with your husband, then your brother. l based on those conversations. Your husband deserves to know what’s happening with his son and you need to protect your kid before your brothers feelings [sic],” divulged another commenter.

“First, tell your husband so you’ll have some support and backup. Next, you need to ascertain the nature of this relationship…You’ll have to eventually fess up to your brother and what happens next will depend on the situation…The only sure thing is that your brother and SIL are almost certainly done,” quipped another netizen.

What are your thoughts on this story? How would you handle the situation if you were in OP’s shoes?