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My Sister Insists I Serve as Her Surrogate Despite the Danger to My Health

A woman has been marginalized by her family from the start, yet shockingly, they turned to her for help, expecting her to jeopardize her own life.

On Reddit, a 31-year-old woman disclosed the lifelong mistreatment by her family. She has an older sister, Mary, 33, who was always seen as the cherished one, referred to by their parents as “the golden apple baby.” Conversely, the Original Poster (OP) stated she was unintentionally conceived, born prematurely with a cardiac issue, and shared:

“Throughout my childhood, I was frequently hospitalized for numerous surgeries.”

Adding insult to injury, OP’s parents often lamented that she was a financial burden, even though her grandparents regularly covered the deficits.


Concerning her sister, OP described Mary as openly despising her and subjecting her to constant bullying, with their parents never stepping in to stop it. After finishing high school, OP escaped the toxic environment by relocating to another state for college, funded by her grandparents.

Moving away proved to be the “best decision” for OP, as it led her to meet her now-husband Greg, who treats her well. After they graduated, they married in a ceremony financed by her grandparents because her parents declined, citing expenses from her sister’s wedding the year before.

OP noted that her parents did not attend her wedding, and subsequently, she and her husband chose to live in their college city, maintaining minimal contact with her family, except her grandparents.

The couple later had a son, following a perilous pregnancy. Doctors even suggested termination due to severe risks, but both mother and son survived, though it nearly cost OP her life due to the strain on her heart. She recounted:

“I was explicitly advised by doctors against having more children, and we concurred.”

Approximately a month ago, OP returned to her hometown with her family due to her grandfather’s failing health. Upon their return, her mother and sister unexpectedly began showing kindness.

“My mother would inquire about my well-being and express pride in me, which was uncharacteristic. My sister would also act similarly. I suspected an ulterior motive,” OP remarked.

At a family dinner hosted by her parents two weeks later, her sister presented her with a card. Expecting an apology, OP was stunned to read:

“Surprise, I found out I’m infertile and am thrilled to announce you as my surrogate.”

Stunned, OP immediately declined, citing her perilous pregnancy history. Mary broke down in tears, and their parents berated OP, accusing her of selfishness. Despite explaining her doctors’ warnings, her parents retorted, “For family, you take risks.”

Dismayed, OP and her husband quickly left. She reflected on her feelings of guilt in her Reddit post, questioning if her refusal made her a bad person for not risking her health as her sister’s surrogate.

Reddit users responded supportively, affirming her decision to prioritize her health and advising her to distance herself from a family that seemed to view her life as expendable. Another commenter emphasized that OP should not feel guilty for standing up to those who disregard her wellbeing.

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