On Our 10-Year Wedding Anniversary, My Husband Suggested We Try an Open Relationship — I Agreed, Mainly to Make a Point

On the evening of our decade-long marriage anniversary, my husband unveiled a startling idea: he proposed we experiment with an open relationship. Taken aback yet determined, I consented, aiming to teach him a lesson. As he struggled to adapt to the modern dating world, I flourished, causing a mix of jealousy and strain. Now, the question remains whether our already tense relationship can endure this bold trial.

So there we were, Dave and I, in a ritzy restaurant he had chosen for our ten-year anniversary dinner. The setting was romantic—candlelit tables, soft music playing in the background, seemingly plucked from a romantic comedy. Yet, there I was, about to receive a life-altering suggestion from my husband.

“Felicity,” Dave began, his tone oddly nonchalant as if he was merely inquiring about ordering dessert. “I’ve been thinking…”

Now, when Dave mentions he’s been thinking, it usually signals something dubious. This is the man who once decided to hang Christmas lights in July because he thought it would ‘save time.’ Clearly, I was on alert.

“Go on,” I responded, striving to keep my voice steady despite the anxiety churning inside me.

“Well, you’ve mentioned how exhausted you are lately, what with managing the kids and everything. So, I was thinking… perhaps we should consider opening up our relationship.”

My reaction was automatic: blink, blink, and blink again, just to ensure I wasn’t imagining things. “Could you repeat that?”

He leaned in, his eyes brimming with a kind of zealous naivety. “Imagine this: if I’m out, enjoying time with other women, you can relax more with the kids. You won’t have to worry about me. It’s a win-win situation!”

Hearing him refer to ‘real women’ shattered a little piece of my heart.

“Real women?” I murmured, voice faltering.

“Yeah, it’d be like a favor to you. Less pressure, right?”

The urge to react dramatically was strong—I considered throwing my wine in his face or causing a scene worthy of daytime TV. However, inspiration struck, leading me to a much more cunning approach.

Smiling wryly, I said, “You know what, Dave? That sounds like a fantastic idea.”

His expression lit up like a child on Christmas. “Really?”

“Absolutely,” I cooed, the sweetness in my voice belying my brewing strategy. “As long as I can see other people too.”

His certainty wavered momentarily, but his typical nonchalance soon returned. “Sure, why not?”

Oh, dear Dave. He had no inkling of the storm he had just invited.

Fast forward to the following week, and it was clear that Dave was floundering in his new ‘dating freedom.’

Often, I’d find him despondently swiping on dating apps, his attempts meeting with less than favorable outcomes.

“Another potential date just canceled,” he sighed one evening, collapsing next to me as I folded laundry, barely masking my schadenfreude.

“She’s ‘taking a break from men,’ whatever that means,” he grumbled, seeking some sort of explanation from me.

With a shrug and a barely concealed smirk, I suggested, “Maybe she could sense your desperation through the app?”

“You’re not helping,” he lamented.

Curiosity getting the better of me one morning, I peeked through his phone while he showered. The litany of rejections and awkward exchanges I found dispelled any fears of him actually succeeding in this venture.

Meanwhile, I was having a markedly different experience.

Enter Shawn, the charming coworker with enticing eyes and a smile that promised mischief. During a casual chat over coffee at work, I mentioned our new relationship arrangement.

“Wait, your husband actually suggested this?” Shawn raised an eyebrow, incredulous.

“Yep,” I sipped my latte, “crazy, right?”

Laughing, Shawn saw an opportunity. “Well, his loss could be my gain. How about we take advantage of his bizarre offer?”

How could I refuse such an appealing proposal?

Our coffee outing was a success, leading me to invite Shawn over for dinner. I prepared meticulously, dressing in a stunning new outfit and cooking a meal that would impress even the most critical of chefs. Just before Shawn’s arrival, I sent Dave a provocative text:

Don’t come home tonight. Things might escalate with my date.

The thrill of defiance was palpable as I hit send. Shawn arrived soon after, looking every bit the part of a perfect date.

Dinner went smoothly, filled with engaging conversation and mutual attraction. As we laughed over dessert, Dave barged in, ranting about a disastrous date with a woman obsessed with her cats.

“Am I interrupting?” he paused, noting the intimate scene.

Without missing a beat, I responded, “Actually, yes. Did you not get my message?”

As Dave checked his phone, his face reddened upon reading my earlier text.

“So,” I continued, arms crossed, “could you give us a few more hours? Shawn and I were just getting to the interesting part.”

His jaw dropped. “You can’t be serious.”

“Dead serious,” I retorted. “Remember, this was your idea.”

Dave’s expression cycled through confusion, anger, and reluctant acceptance. “Fine. But we need to talk. Now.”

I apologized to Shawn, promising another rendezvous soon, and turned to face Dave.

“What’s this all about, Felicity? Where did you find him? A modeling agency?”

“He’s a colleague,” I met his stunned look with a mix of irritation and satisfaction. “You initiated this, Dave. Now, you have to deal with the consequences.”

He looked genuinely pained, a mix of regret and realization dawning on him. “I see I’ve made a huge mistake. It’s not easy, and watching you with someone else is unbearable.”

Acknowledging his admission, I softened slightly. “Did you think I wouldn’t hurt too? That your proposal wouldn’t affect me?”

He sighed, defeated. “I was foolish. I’m sorry. I’ve taken you for granted, and that ends now.”

I nodded, the residual anger fading. “Thank you, Dave. We need real change. It’s time to truly focus on us.”

He agreed earnestly, suggesting counseling and dedicated time together. “Whatever it takes.”

There was a hopeful shift in the air as we settled onto the sofa, reminiscing about our first date, acknowledging past mistakes, and planning a future together.

“Let’s take this one day at a time,” I proposed.

“One day at a time,” he echoed.

And so began a genuine attempt at reconciliation, steeped in the lessons learned from a bold, albeit tumultuous, experiment in our marriage. Here’s to real second chances, the hard lessons of love, and the enduring commitment to make a marriage work. Cheers to the rollercoaster that is marriage!

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