AITA for naming my son the name I had always planned even after my brother and sister in-law “stole” the name?

A user on Reddit recounted how their brother and his wife “took” the name Oisín, which they had always intended to use for their son. The Redditor and her spouse, who is from Ireland, had decided long ago that their son would be named Oisín, a classic Irish name with deep personal relevance to their family.

However, when their brother and sister-in-law decided to call their son Oisín two months prior, the Redditor was, understandably, not pleased, but still decided to use the name for their own child.

Their brother’s wife is now demanding they alter their son’s given name or call him by his middle name instead, but the Redditor is standing firm. Continue reading for the complete account of this familial conflict…

‘ AITA for naming my son the name I had always planned even after my brother and sister in-law “stole” the name?’

My brother and his wife are perfectly entitled to choose any name they like for their baby. I don’t have any claim over my own name, and I can’t tell my brother what to call his child. Having said that, my husband has a lovely traditional family name that I really admire.

Essentially, from the time my partner and I were together and started talking about what we wanted in life, we decided our boy would be called Oisín. My spouse hails from Ireland. And I don’t mean in the “my ancestors arrived here centuries ago” sense. I mean, he was born in Galway.

Neither my family nor my sister-in-law have any ties to Ireland beyond her. She became pregnant around the same time I did, and her son arrived two months before ours. They chose the name Oisín Miguel for my nephew. I wasn’t upset or anything. When my son was born, we named him Oisín Daniel, just as I had mentioned we would.

She is furious that two cousins will share a name. This is ridiculous because we are Hispanic, and common names like Carlos or Camilla are widespread in our family. She is demanding we use his middle name or rename him altogether. I told her to get lost.

My mother is trying to stay out of it, but she was quite taken aback that my brother chose an Irish name for his son, knowing I had intended to use it. She thought he would name him after our deceased father.

Anyways, my husband’s side of the family finds the entire situation amusing, while my family considers my sister-in-law to be strange. She, on the other hand, believes I’m a jerk for imitating her. Regardless, I’m sharing this here and sending her the link so she can get some outside perspectives.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Special_Respond7372 −  NTA. She FAFO’d by using the name you wanted, expecting you to have to change yours. I love that you didn’t let it faze you, and named your child as intended.

She will likely remain upset, and you can simply keep saying, “You were aware of our planned child’s name. You opted to use the same name, so you were forewarned. Your choice is not my concern.”

hubertburnette −  Your husband’s family is right. So is your family. She doesn’t own the name, and, if she’s going to pretend that Moses had a third tablet saying that people own names.

Then she’s conceding that she was totally wrong to name her child something she knew you were planning to use. She comes across as immature and spiteful. You’re NTA, she definitely is.

NotCreativeAtAll16 −  NTA. You’re right, anyone can use a name. That means even after she used a name that meant nothing to her, but so much to you and your hubby, it’s still OK to use that name.

Tell your sister to get lost. You weren’t upset when she chose the name you had intended to use. My family is much the same… We had four people named John, two cousins named Rick who were close in age, and most of the women share a version of the name Anne.

WannabeI −  Short answer: NTA. Long answer: She thought she was going to own the name by claiming it first, even though her reasoning for the name was that *you* didn’t own it.

She has the option of naming her son Miguel, or she can simply accept the reality that cousins sometimes share the same name. It’s not an unheard-of situation.

extinct_diplodocus −  NTA that you didn’t play the role your SIL planned. You were supposed to be really angry and choose a different name for your child. Husband’s family is right: it’s hilarious!.

She has now saddled her child with a name that holds no genuine significance for her, and her attempt to create a stir has been met with indifference. Unsurprisingly, she is upset. It is typical for the thwarted antagonist to be upset. And no, you did not imitate her. You merely proceeded with what you had consistently and publicly intended. She is the one who chose to imitate.

Rare-Selection2348 −  Sounds like someone in the family likes to manufacture drama.. NTA

revengeofthebiscuit −  NTA – as you’ve said, no one has the rights to a name, but honestly if your SIL knew you were going to do this, it’s \*her\* fault that she chose the same name and chose to get upset about it.

Also, if she believes you are the only family with cousins sharing a name, a whole generation of Amandas, Jennifers, Michaels, and Patricks from the late 1980s and early 1990s has something to tell her…

Swiss_Miss_77 −  Oisín Miguel. With a Latin last name. Well, it’s not a tragedeigh, cause it at least sound okay together, but that kid was always going to get so much crap if he uses his first name…

Because he has absolutely NO Irish heritage! They’ll pull the same stunt with your son, and he’ll get away with claiming Irish roots through a family name. But his cousin won’t be so lucky; they’ll make fun of him relentlessly. You’re not the A-hole. Also, has your sister-in-law always been trying to one-up you?

moew4974 −  NTA.. but since I’m petty I’d like to point out if your brother didn’t think it beyond odd that his wife wanted to name their son after a name from her SIL’s husband’s family? It feels like she’s jealous of OP? Is OP’s marriage, life, and husband just better in her mind?

Would she prefer the company of her brother-in-law over her own spouse? Does she look up to her brother-in-law because he’s Irish? Was her behavior motivated by a feeling that OP overshadowed her by becoming pregnant at the same time? If that’s the case, she’s an incredibly insecure and inconsiderate jerk.

katbelleinthedark −  Lmao, I’m with your in-laws, this is hilarious. Of course NTA. You’ve been very clear and upfront about the name you chose for your son. And since you come from a family where plenty of cousins share the same name, you aren’t bothered by it.

That’s wonderful! I’m really glad you were able to give your son the name you always wanted. Your sister-in-law figured you’d give in and choose a different name to prevent having cousins with the same name.

Well, tough luck for her. If it bothers her so much that her son has the same name as yours, SHE can use her child’s middle name. You keep doing what you’re doing, OP, and enjoy your little Oisín. Miguel will survive. xD

Was the Redditor justified in insisting on the name Oisín, or should they have made concessions to prevent discord with their sister-in-law? In a scenario where someone else decides to use a name you had already picked for your child, what would be your course of action? Express your opinions in the comments!