My drunk sister insulted my wife on her birthday, aita for cutting her off?

A Reddit user voices his annoyance regarding his sister’s actions during a family gathering intended to celebrate his wife’s birthday. Although she was repeatedly asked not to attend the alcohol-free occasion inebriated, the sister appeared drunk and made a damaging remark concerning the wife’s childlessness.

Following the hurtful remark, the user on Reddit evicts his sibling from his residence and resolves to sever contact. Conversely, his spouse motivates him to grant forgiveness, asserting the significance of familial bonds. The Redditor is now questioning whether his choice to end the relationship with his sister is excessively severe. Find the complete account detailed subsequently…

‘ My drunk sister insulted my wife on her birthday, aita for cutting her off?’

I, 24M, have been married to my wife, 25F, for seven months. She is unable to conceive, and I am aware that my family, along with virtually everyone we know, is aware of this. Regardless, my love for her remains steadfast, as it always has been. When I proposed, she did not display happiness.

She broke down in tears, telling me I shouldn’t marry her because of her inability to conceive. This has always been a source of insecurity and sadness for her, knowing she cannot experience pregnancy and childbirth in the usual way.

I reassured her, expressing my love and commitment, clarifying that her health wouldn’t change my desire to marry her and asking if she still wanted to marry me. She confirmed her desire but voiced concerns that I was worthy of someone “better.” I dismissed those concerns, stating that we would find solutions together, and if not, we would simply enjoy our lives together as a couple.

After we tied the knot, she ceased self-recrimination and excessive rumination; the remorse and melancholy dissipated almost entirely. She still experienced occasional sadness, but we were coping and progressing.

We hosted a birthday party for my wife twelve days ago, inviting all of our relatives. My sister has a drinking problem, which my wife and I both despise, so everyone was aware that the celebration would be alcohol-free.

I specifically told my sister to arrive sober and without any alcohol, mentioning it at least 10 times. Regardless, she came drunk, and I was so mad I almost told her to get out, but my wife convinced me to overlook it since she’s my sister.

At dinner, my sister hinted at a possible pregnancy, which stunned everyone since none of us were aware of her having a boyfriend. My wife was the first to speak, offering her congratulations. My sister expressed her gratitude, and my wife advised her to embrace a healthier lifestyle and abstain from alcohol for the sake of the baby’s development over the next year.

My sister responded by saying that she didn’t require guidance from someone unable to bear children, creating a tense and uncomfortable atmosphere for everyone present. Silence followed, broken only when my wife tersely agreed. Eventually, she made her apologies and left, with me trailing behind her.

I found my wife in tears, so I comforted her. Overcome with anger towards my sister, I confronted her, seizing her arm and forcefully removing her from the premises. I declared that she was forbidden from returning and was to cease all contact with my wife and me. Despite her attempts to apologize, I warned her of potential police involvement.

My sister relocated, followed by my parents. Subsequently, my in-laws departed after consoling my wife. I have since been unresponsive to all communication attempts from my family, including my sister’s calls and messages.

My spouse is advising me to pardon my sister, citing her inebriated state, and encouraging familial communication. However, my attention is fixed on severing ties with her and her allies. My spouse emphasizes the significance of family, suggesting that despite any hurtful remarks, my sister cares for me.

If there were no other reason, the fact that my sister cares for me should be enough to encourage me to speak with her. However, the desire simply isn’t there. Why would anyone be willing to excuse such a person? A habitual drinker?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

AdWaste3417 −  You’re actually awesome for supporting your wife, so many losers would side with their own side of the family. Your wife sounds like a sweetheart and I’m sorry for your fertility struggles.

It’s truly unfortunate that your sister, despite having the blessing of carrying a child, is putting the pregnancy at risk by drinking. While your sister probably wasn’t happy to hear that brought up, it needed to be said, and it’s good that it came from a place of concern.

Fibro-Mite −  “Might”. So she doesn’t know. She just said it so that she could have a dig at OP’s wife. No other reason to come out and tell a group of people that includes a person who has depression around their own infertility “hey, I might be preggers!” She’s a n**ty, spiteful b**ly who wanted to get a reaction. NTA.

Sufficient_Rip_6326 −  NTA. “I might be pregnant” while drunk?? Actively drinking?? Oh, so shes a POS. Got it. Either shes more careless than you think, or she said it purposely just to hurt your wife. Either way, your great for protecting your wife and i would cut her off too tbh. You clearly have different priorities in life at this point.

BlueGreen_1956 −  NTA
I don’t think alcohol is your sister’s main problem. I think being a total b**ch is. I will let South Park say it for me (Just substitute “My sister” for Kyle’s mom.)

Corpuscular_Ocelot −  This is more complex than a basic Y T A/N T A. This is an ESH. 1. Your sister is a drunk. She isn’t going to show up sober or not bring a bottle. You needed to face this reality sooner.

Your spouse requires counseling. She clearly has low self-worth and is acting like a doormat by permitting your sister to remain at the celebration and excusing her comments simply because “she is your sister.” Neither of you should have let her attend in the first place.

You, your spouse, and your children must cease supporting your sibling’s behavior. Your wife’s perspective of “she’s family, so let it go” is unhelpful to your sister. Your belief that you can simply caution her against bringing alcohol is wishful thinking and also detrimental to your sister.

I bet this pregnancy will make your parents enable you even more.

4. I’m sorry, but your wife stirred up trouble. Your sister struggles with alcohol, was inebriated, and your wife confronted her about being “unhealthy” with a crowd present?

Your sister is definitely an awful person, but her terrible reaction to your wife’s thoughtless remark was completely expected. I’m certain your wife was distressed by the announcement and the circumstances, but she definitely should have refrained from speaking at that particular time.

That so-called “polite suggestion” from your wife, which was actually a veiled public put-down of your sister, didn’t help at all. It just shows that this group of people wants to keep pretending there’s no problem.

5. Your sister requires intervention. I would not object if you severed all ties with her, but given the potential presence of a child, discussing an intervention with your parents and enrolling her in a suitable program is crucial.

If they’re in denial or she declines treatment, sever ties. Currently, you’re avoiding reality and its consequences, consequences that everyone involved (excluding your unfortunate in-laws) contributed to.

Nocturnal_Loon −  Family is NOT important if they are trash and make your wife cry.. NTA for standing up for her.

MaximumRoyal9795 −  You stood up for your wife, and that’s exactly what she needed from you. Family should know boundaries, and if they can’t respect that, then they don’t deserve to be around. You did the right thing for your relationship and her peace of mind.

CatJarmansPants −  While your wife *absolutely* did not deserve what your sister said… Drunk alcoholics are not, in truth, known for their receptiveness to unsolicited health advice. Your wife did poke her, she shouldn’t be *that* surprised that a drunk a**oholic lashed out in return.

Being aggressive is practically part of the package with alcoholics. This situation is your responsibility. You were aware of your sister’s personality, yet you chose to give in to pressure rather than taking a firm stance and potentially being seen negatively, all to safeguard your wife’s well-being.

Ceasing contact with your sister – the path I’d choose – won’t benefit her, though it could benefit you. And honestly, maintaining contact hasn’t appeared to yield positive results either…

Affectionate-War3181 −  NTA. Your sister was out of line for sure. Drunk doesn’t give an excuse. You have a very kind hearted wife OP, she sounds like a great lady. I wish you both well. If a child is truly what you want, consider adoption. I am, I love my parents very much.

nataliieebby −  NTA. Your sister was being a j**k. That’s an attitude problem, not a drinking one.

Was the Redditor right to react as he did, considering his sister’s lack of respect, or was ending all contact an excessive response? What would be your approach to navigating this delicate family matter? Leave your comments and perspectives below.