AITA for telling my friend is it pathetic that she can’t drive and at this point she needs to get over it ?

An individual on Reddit expresses annoyance with a friend who, despite being a licensed driver, consistently avoids driving because of intense anxiety. Having driven her around on numerous occasions, the Redditor finally addresses her reliance on others, implying that she should confront her phobia.

This remark causes a split in their bond, making the Redditor wonder if their method of being brutally honest was the right thing to do. Examine the original narrative that follows to delve into the intricacies of helping a friend while experiencing feelings of being weighed down.

‘ AITA for telling my friend is it pathetic that she can’t drive and at this point she needs to get over it.’

I might be completely wrong in this situation. I have a 22-year-old friend who, despite having a driver’s license, is unable to operate a vehicle due to a severe fear of driving. Her anxiety stems from watching crash videos and the stressful experiences she had with her parents while learning to drive. After obtaining her license, she completely stopped driving.

She requires transportation everywhere, and in the United States, driving is essential. Typically, I don’t mind being her chauffeur, but I’m growing weary of it. When we go out, my role as the driver prevents me from enjoying a drink. I also incur extra gas expenses, navigate the route, and bear the consequences of her tardiness, which leads to a multitude of complaints.

She lamented to me about her lack of travel, and I pointed out that she possesses both a vehicle and the ability to operate it. I was then subjected to a tirade about how unsafe driving is, to which I responded that I was tired of hearing it. I asserted that I cannot chauffeur her around constantly. I expressed my view that her behavior is now sad and she needs to move past her fears. She has been silent with me since, and now considers me to be unpleasant.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Ok-Context1168 −  NTA. I think it’s funny that she said she can’t drive because it’s dangerous but it’s not dangerous when you drive her everywhere. Make that make sense.
I have heard that people can be really anxious or scared of driving and therapy helps. Or she needs to consider ubers and public transpo.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. She needed to hear that. She needs to get over it or accept she’ll just stay home. If it’s dangerous for her to drive it’s also dangerous for her to be driven. She’s not e**itled to being driven around.

YouthNAsia63 −  You aren’t your friends personal driver. A professional gets *paid*. She can drive her car or call a taxi or uber or move to town where there is public transport or *call somebody else* to haul her around. NTA for feeling taken advantage of. It’s ok to say “no”.

[Reddit User] −  EDIT: okay geez, changing to ESH. She is an AH for making you late, not contributing to gas and overall not seeming grateful, but you also crossed a line by calling her pathetic for her fear. I mean, you’re partially right, but you were a real d**k about it.

If she is scared to drive, *she shouldn’t be driving, as she will endanger herself and others*. You are not obligated to drive her everywhere, but you have no justification to denigrate her. I would say sorry but also clarify how you are impacted by being her personal driver. She either helps with petrol expenses, or she needs to figure out another way to get around.

healermoonchild −  Mild YTA for the way you said it and for calling her pathetic. You can’t force people to do things if they don’t want to. You can’t force her to drive and she can’t force you to drive her either. But NTA when it comes to not wanting to be in charge of driving someone all the time plus being stuck with the cost of gas.

You are not required to accept every request to transport her. Furthermore, you can reduce the frequency with which you provide her rides, or decline to drive her at all. Once the regular source of transportation is unavailable, she may be compelled to operate her own vehicle. Another option for outings is to utilize a ride-sharing service.

Suggest going out for a couple of drinks and splitting the Uber fare. However, there are individuals who will never be able to operate a vehicle. My aunt, for instance, has relied on relatives for transportation or taken the bus for more than two decades. She prefers adhering to a bus timetable (with buses arriving every two hours) rather than driving herself.

ENDER5045 −  She’s using you, if she has an irrational fear of driving she can call Ubers, nta

[Reddit User] −  ESH. She’s been taking advantage of you and restricting your fun without thinking of you. And what will she do when you move away if you’re her primary driver? But it sounds like this issue is serious enough she needs actual therapy for it, and you’re shitting on her for it. That’s a d**k move.

[Reddit User] −  NAH. I think you could have been kinder toward her; this fear of driving seems like something she should be discussing with a therapist. There’s being apprehensive about going on the road and then there’s avoiding it entirely. But I understand the strain it puts on you and you’re not at all required to continue being her chauffeur.

p1nktreesz −  NTA. If she is *that* scared to drive-how did she pass the test to get a drivers license? Why doesn’t she give you gas money? If you are the one driving her around-why is she sometimes late? She’s taking advantage of you.

KronkLaSworda −  You are her taxi service, not her friend. NTA to stop driving her anywhere. Let her get an Uber or taxi and start meeting you places. She’ll get tired of the expense and be forced to drive herself.

Was the user justified in voicing their annoyance with their friend’s anxieties regarding driving, or was their candor crucial for her development? What would your approach be if a friend’s apprehensions began to strain your relationship? I’m interested in hearing your opinions!