AITAH for cancelling my credit card after my wife took it from me and spent $2000 on a pair of shoes without asking?
A Reddit user found himself in a difficult situation when he learned his wife had used his credit card without asking to buy shoes that cost $2,000. Already dealing with significant credit card debt and a strained relationship, he chose to cancel the card, which made his wife furious. The complete account of what happened next is available below.
‘ AITAH for cancelling my credit card after my wife took it from me and spent $2000 on a pair of shoes without asking?’
My spouse (27f) and I (36m) had an argument. As she often does during our disagreements, she confiscated my wallet and phone and wouldn’t return them. After repeatedly asking for their return without result, I exited our home for a walk to calm myself.
Upon my return, she was gone. Subsequently, my bank sent an email alerting me to possible unauthorized charges on my card. Reviewing my account, I discovered a pending $2,000 charge from an upscale boutique, payment for footwear.
I contacted my bank to report my card as stolen, requesting both the cancellation of the fraudulent charge and the card itself. My wife is now upset because we lack a usable credit card, believing my actions were excessive. She holds me responsible for the situation, seemingly ignoring her role in creating it.
We’re carrying roughly $10,000 in credit card balances, and I wasn’t willing to add another $2,000 to that. More importantly, I wasn’t prepared to allow it to occur without repercussions, as I’m determined to prevent a recurrence. So, am I the bad guy?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
N2VDV8 − Nope. NTA. Revenge spending is a horseshit maneuver by an immature person who can’t or won’t accept either reality or consequences. Hate to say it, bud, but this relationship sounds unhealthy for you.
greenteasmoothie138 − NTA. I stopped reading once you said a 27 year old grown ass woman takes your wallet and phone when you argue. I would leave because you are married to a child.
[Reddit User] − NTA. You’re in an a**sive marriage. Get a divorce lawyer and get rid of her.
[Reddit User] − What the actual f**k. It is NOOOOT normal for someone to steal their partner’s wallet after a fight. Your wife is batshit crazy and I suspect she’s more a**sive than you’re letting on. F**king leave, dude. That’s how you stop it from happening in the future.
Spare-Article-396 − You’ve got a bigger problem than $2k shoes.. NTA
JTD177 − Get out of this relationship before she bankrupts you for real. She is t**ic AF
YouKnowImRight85 − So what more is it going to take for you to realize that you are in a domestic violence situation and you are the victim?
LostAbbott − Not sure what the fight was over, but putting your family in further financial stress is definitely an a**hole move on her part. NTA.
andydad1978 − NTA, but this relationship is doomed. She takes your wallet and credit cards when you fight and spends 2k on shoes? You cancelled the card because she keeps doing this crap? Be careful, the next time you two have a fight, she’s going to find a new way to “punish” you. It will probably be worse than before.
museum_one − NTA but I’m confused as to why you allow your so called wife to treat you like a child!! You guys argue and this takes your things away from you and refuse to give them back! You make it seem like it’s happened before!! If a man did that the entire world would say he’s controlling and a**sive!! What do you call her behavior? Way too many red flags!!
Was closing the credit account an excessive measure, or was it a reasonable precaution to head off potential issues? How would you navigate monetary limits in a partnership where confidence has been compromised? Post your opinions!
