AITA for Refusing to Attend My Sister’s Wedding Because She Wants to “Repurpose” My Wedding Dress?

A Reddit user is facing a challenge because her sister wants to use her wedding gown for her own wedding. She declined, explaining that the dress has sentimental importance and that she wants to keep it as is, but her sister and parents have called her selfish as a result.

Her sister is now demanding the dress back as a condition for attending the wedding. Is her reaction truly unjustified, or should her family be more understanding of her emotions?

‘ AITA for Refusing to Attend My Sister’s Wedding Because She Wants to “Repurpose” My Wedding Dress?’

Throwaway account because my relatives are aware of my primary account. I (28F) tied the knot the previous year in a modest yet lovely event. My spouse and I dedicated several months to meticulously arranging each aspect, with my bridal gown being the most significant element for me.

After carefully squirreling away money for many years, I finally purchased the dress of my dreams. It is a stunning A-line gown composed of delicate lace, complete with detailed beading and an extended train. The dress made me feel like royalty, and I still experience strong feelings when I reflect on it.

As we approach the present, my 26-year-old sister is engaged, with her wedding scheduled in half a year. She recently visited to discuss the upcoming event and mentioned wanting to “borrow” my dress. She expressed that she found the idea of “repurposing” it appealing, perhaps by hemming the skirt or changing the color, to make it “uniquely hers.”

I was surprised. I informed her that I wasn’t okay with her changing my dress, mainly because it means so much to me. She became angry and called me selfish because she was trying to cut costs for her wedding, adding that “family should help each other out.” When I refused to budge, she claimed that I “didn’t care about her wedding” and left in a huff.

My parents phoned me later, accusing me of “breaking her heart” for not wanting to share. They argued that because I am married and “through with the gown,” it shouldn’t matter. But it *does* matter to me. I want to keep my dress the way it is. They advised me to simply “give in” to prevent family conflict, but frankly, I believe it is my dress and my choice.

My sibling is now claiming that my presence at her wedding will make her uneasy unless I demonstrate my backing by permitting her to utilize my gown. While I’m hesitant to skip her wedding, I’m also unwilling to concede to a request that makes me uneasy. Would I be in the wrong for declining her request to “repurpose” my wedding gown and contemplating skipping the wedding?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

PrincessxDianne −  NTA. It’s your dress, and your sister is being unreasonable.

Sassy-Peanut −  OP-I’m guessing your ‘golden child’ sister has always bullied you and enlisted your parents to back up her m**ipulative behaviour. You are married now and it’s time to stop being a doormat to your former family. Former because you and your husband are a family now and you two come first.

You are entitled to decline and suggest that your stingy sister purchase her own attire. Furthermore, arrange a passionate weekend getaway with your spouse on the day of the wedding. Your sister is only interested in getting her way and does not care about you. Stand before a mirror and rehearse saying NO while smiling; it’s quite liberating.

PorkyMcRib −  NTA. You don’t just get to decide to claim somebody else’s sentimental property. Let alone decide to hack it up and change colors. I would refuse to go under any circumstances.

Stormiealways −  Now my sister says she “won’t feel comfortable” with me at her wedding unless I “show my support” by letting her use the dress.. Response? I won’t feel comfortable attending a wedding that I was blackmailed into giving MY wedding dress away.

Not cool that you took my dress, modified it so it can’t be restored, and now I’m supposed to be okay with that? If that results in me not being invited to the wedding, so be it. NTA at all.

SeaworthinessDue8650 −  Does anyone in your family have the keys to your place? If they do, change the locks. Your sister is the spoiled golden child. .  NTA.

[Reddit User] −  In our culture where siblings are even more close. You still don’t share your wedding dresses even if you are poor and can’t afford. You will rather buy cheap one than expecting from former bride. Nta your sister is being s**fish and you need to stand on your ground. If she loves you, she won’t b**ckmail you and put conditions. NTA.

ForkliftGirl404 −  NTA, a wedding is one of the biggest events in a person’s life. Your sister sounds like she wants to one up you by using your dress but making it ‘better’.

Don’t cave, OP. If you do, it will tarnish the memory of your wedding day and the significance of your most treasured keepsake. If your family is so insistent on familial support, they can all contribute to your sister obtaining the “unique” gown she desires.

LilyLaura01 −  If your sister wants to “repurpose” a wedding dress then there are plenty in charity shops that she can ruin to her hearts content. The sheer f**king entitlement is just so rude and disrespectful.

Tell her that the only other individual who will have the privilege of wearing YOUR gown will be your daughter, should you have one. Regarding your parents, they need to simply refrain from interfering and honor your desires and emotions. NTA.

Kitchen_Victory_7964 −  NTA. Please make sure to put your lovely gown in storage somewhere secure that isn’t your home (where your sister/family *cannot* access it), but keep the box or bag it came in.

Then, look for an A-line dress at a secondhand store and stash it away in the garment’s packaging at your place. Continue denying your sister the dress you have and watch if this dress strangely disappears, haha.

klurtin −  First of all, why not post on your main account? Your family should see the responses and maybe they’d have a wake up call. Your dress is your dress. It is yours to do whatever you want to with. Your sister can buy or rent her own. Especially since she wants to “repurpose”. Tell her to hit the thrift shops or resale shops.

It seems to me that skipping this wedding would be a good idea. There is already a great deal of conflict. If I were in your shoes, I would purchase some champagne, wear your dress, and enjoy a wonderful day celebrating your relationship with your husband instead. You are not the wrongdoer, but your family appears to be full of them.