AITA if I called my husband disgusting for making fun of my appearance?

A woman on Reddit is struggling with the emotional pain caused by her husband’s repeated, derisive remarks about how she looks. Even though she has told him many times that she doesn’t like it, he continues to make comments, from joking about the size of her forehead to harshly describing her feet.

Following an especially insensitive remark regarding a health concern, she now wonders if her anger is warranted or excessive. Is she incorrect to have confronted him about his offensive actions? The complete account is available below.

‘ AITA if I called my husband disgusting for making fun of my appearance?’

I’m feeling genuinely upset and questioning whether my reaction is justified, so I decided to seek advice here. My spouse frequently makes remarks regarding how I look, and they sting.

It began subtly, with actions such as him touching my brow and acting as if he was measuring it, commenting that I possessed the largest forehead he had ever encountered. I have witnessed him ridicule others for similar features, even labeling a girl “the ugliest of them all” due to her forehead size, making his remarks to me particularly hurtful.

There have been additional remarks as well. Once, noticing a blemish on my face, he regarded me with repulsion and inquired when it would disappear, remarking that it had been there “for a long while.” On another occasion, as I was walking away, he commented negatively on the lack of curvature of my backside.

That did it for me yesterday: I was discussing my period problems with him, specifically the spotting I’ve been experiencing between cycles, and he grabbed my feet, commenting after our conversation that they resembled “hooves.” When I expressed my annoyance, he dismissed it, claiming my period was the only reason I was angry.

I have expressed to him multiple times that his remarks wound me and undermine my confidence, and I have requested that he cease making them. Nevertheless, he persists in doing so. Would I be justified in my anger, or am I being overly sensitive?

See what others had to share with OP:

KaliTheBlaze −  “My husband is horribly mean to me, criticizing my appearance in insulting and demeaning ways. Is it my fault?” Of course not, NTA, except to yourself for marrying a man who talks to you and others like this.

_TiberiusPrime_ −  Just divorce him.

[Reddit User] −  Nta- thats straight up disrespectful. Theres teasing here and there in a relationship and then there is straight up making your partner feel bad. Id honestly have a serious talk with him. If he cant respect you then you shouldnt be with him. You want someone who can playfully tease but respect your boundaries.

Financial_Bear_5071 −  NTA. It sounds like he’s become one of those men who thinks that if he puts you down enough, you’ll become so insecure about your looks, that you’ll think you can’t do any better than him. It’s a ploy to ensure you won’t leave him.

It’s time to be frank and tell him you’re no longer going to put up with his actions. If he persists, retaliate in kind and let him experience what it’s like to have his image constantly criticized. If even that fails, you need to determine if you want to remain with a man who derives pleasure from diminishing your self-worth.

_s1m0n_s3z −  You are, madame, married to an a**hole. NTA. Consider starting loud discussions regarding the adequacy of his penis size, bald spot, or breath whenever you are in mixed company.

lilith310 −  Does your husband even like you? NTA. He is, however, a walking red flag. You deserve better.

HowlPen −  Hmmm, well we can’t judge a feeling. But I’d say you are definitely NTA if you firmly tell your husband he needs to stop, get counseling, or you’re out. Your husband showed you who he is when he made fun of other people and called a girl the “ugliest.”

He likely behaved unusually for a period as he tried to persuade you to accept his proposal. However, his authentic self is someone who finds ease in unkindness, a trait that was inevitably going to emerge. Do you desire to be subjected to this behavior indefinitely?

Literally_Taken −  NTA. In fact, you would be spot-on if you did that. He’s intentionally attacking your self-confidence in an effort to control the relationship. His ego is so fragile he needs to pick on your appearance to make himself feel better.

Keep your chin up, knowing his claims are unfounded. Then, consider whether you wish to share your life with such an unhappy person.

JollySwimmerHere −  NTA — His behavior is disrespectful, and it’s not okay for him to dismiss your feelings by blaming them on your period.

lalalemoninthesun −  You are not overreacting and you know that. Your gut is not wrong. This man, who is supposed to love and cherish and lift you up, is intentionally cutting you down and consciously trying to make you feel bad about yourself.

This is a HUGE issue. Although I’m tempted to advise you to dump him like many on Reddit would, I’d suggest, at the very least, that he seek personal therapy and that you both attend marriage counseling if he’s serious about fixing the damage he’s caused. ETA: NTA, naturally.

Is her anger towards her husband warranted given his hurtful remarks, or could she be exaggerating the situation? What would be your course of action if your partner’s jokes became offensive? I’m interested in hearing your perspectives!