Aita for giving all of my coworkers a different reason for why I have missing fingers?

An individual in their mid-twenties, missing three fingers on their primary hand, grew tired of the frequent and prying questions about the cause of their missing digits at their new workplace, and started fabricating tall tales for their colleagues. They invented preposterous reasons for their condition, ranging from gnawing them off in infancy to an accident involving a plastic knife.

Nonetheless, this generated conflict in the workplace, with colleagues debating the facts, and a large number feeling deceived. The individual now wonders if they erred in trivializing the matter and instigating office turmoil. Full story available below.

‘ Aita for giving all of my coworkers a different reason for why I have missing fingers?’

Having only seven digits on my preferred hand is not a big deal. I can type and even tie my shoes most of the time (the times I can’t are due to dyspraxia). But I can’t pretend it doesn’t look strange to other people. I only have my ring and pinky fingers, so my hand looks like a poorly drawn rabbit.

I’m accustomed to fielding questions regarding it, typically following a prolonged period of observation, yet I continue to find it bothersome. I genuinely fail to grasp why you’d assume such an inquiry would be acceptable, but whatever. I possess a modicum of social grace.

Typically, I halt any inquiries immediately by stating the facts upfront and anticipating that sufficient individuals will discuss it, ensuring the information circulates by day’s end (which invariably occurs).

I recently began a new position approximately one month ago, and I realized that I could no longer tolerate going through the same routine. I determined that it was time to stop participating in it and instead create something positive from the experience—so I resolved to amuse myself. When my first new colleague inquired about it, I fabricated a story and informed her that I had gnawed them off when I was an infant.

I then opted to inform the subsequent individual who inquired that I had severed them using a plastic picnic utensil, and the person after that that I came into this world with an extra digit on each hand, and the medical staff mistakenly amputated too many. Every explanation was utterly absurd, yet I’m convincing, and they were taken in by my idiotic fabrications. I was not anticipating they would believe them (a plastic knife… capable of cutting bone?!) but that’s what occurred. Perhaps they simply reasoned that there was no chance I’d be dishonest regarding the circumstances of my missing fingers.

In approximately 72 hours, I found out that my colleagues had been disputing the real cause, and it appears many of them now hold me in active contempt for being dishonest with them. I will likely need to bake some cupcakes this weekend, employing my awesome 3D printed assistive whisk, to regain their favor.

I recounted this incident to my brother today, and he said I was out of line. He felt that I stirred up trouble at the office on my first day and made my colleagues feel foolish for falling for my fabricated story.

I contend that I am not the guilty party since they posed an impolite, though frequently asked, inquiry, and my response was not meant to mislead. I was simply weary of the question and did not anticipate they would genuinely believe I had severed three fingers with dental floss at the age of 3. However, I will accept the verdict.

Update: I plan to be present here. I am increasingly weary of having to justify why questioning individuals about the circumstances surrounding the loss of their limbs or digits is inappropriate, simply to satisfy morbid curiosity. A few points to remember: I am not a man (I’m unsure why everyone presumed I was!), refrain from inquiring about potentially distressing events, particularly with strangers, and always cream the butter when preparing cupcakes.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

iLuvTopanga17 −  NAH. This is funny and anyone offended is being way too uptight.

DigitalCode4Life −  Ugh, your co-workers are just so damn rude. NTA. They aren’t supposed to ask you for your fingers at first place let alone “discussing it” and talking behind you. You were embarrassed and pissed off at them asking the same questions and not minding their own business so you joked about it but they were so dumb to recognize it. You aren’t the a**hole. Co-workers are though.

Dead_before_dessert −  NAH, because that’s hilarious and they must be idiots. Your coworkers are f**king rude and it’s none of their business. you *probably* should have waited a little while, before you start blowing smoke up people’s asses. It’s always good to get a handle on your coworkers, and give them a chance to realize they’re being idiots before resorting to snark.

Sidenote: Around a decade ago, I was acquainted with someone who had a congenital condition where his fingers were joined. They were removed during his infancy, and he went on to become the most incredible Guitar Hero player I have ever encountered. He outperformed everyone and delighted in reminding us that he had defeated us with his “stubs.” I have fond memories of him!

Crabtrad −  NTA, I think it’s funny.. ​ But both the “funny” factor and the “a**hole” factor are determined by the stories. I am hoping in some of the tales your fingers were lost to wild animals, terrorists, and/or freak accidents with normal household items

coldtamalee −  NTA – “I chewed them off as a baby.” Hilarious.

micaub −  Put plastic fingers in the cupcakes and say you lost them in a cooking accident.. NTA.

basicallyabotaccount −  NTA, if I was your coworker and I realized you were giving different answers I would be delighted, but not everybody has the same sense of humor.

smrt_fasizmu −  NTA, you made some harmless jokes and your co-workers need to loosen up a bit. Good on you for trying to stay in their good graces as well.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. That is hilarious! But also, I understand that it probably annoys you that people ask but you can’t exactly blame them for it. If I saw someone who was missing a few fingers I would be instantly curious about what happened.

brightwings00 −  NAH. That’s hilarious, and it was very brave of you to lose those fingers protecting the President of Mozambique from an assassination attempt.

Was the person in the wrong for not being truthful to dodge an overly personal question, or did they overreact and cause a needless issue at their job? Should people be more considerate of subjects that might be upsetting, or should they just deal with others’ inquisitiveness? I’m curious to hear your opinions!