AITA for not letting my brother and SIL see my daughter after they threw away her medicine?

A person on Reddit recounted how their sibling and their sibling’s spouse, while caring for their 4-year-old child, discarded the child’s necessary medicine and other important belongings. The pair, who had looked after the child while the user was dealing with alcohol dependence, asserted they were concerned about potential negative effects of the medicine.

They even disposed of the kid’s wardrobe and purchased a new one. The parent, who has maintained sobriety for a couple of years, now won’t allow them to be alone with their daughter, triggering negative reactions from family.

‘ AITA for not letting my brother and SIL see my daughter after they threw away her medicine?’

I have a four-year-old girl named Emma. I’m an alcoholic, but I’ve maintained sobriety for the past two years. My brother was legally responsible for Emma from the time she was 15 months old until shortly before she turned three. It took me almost a year of battling to regain custody of her.

They remain bitter, asserting that I “stole Emma from them.” My sibling and their spouse have repeatedly contacted child protective services and have voiced their distrust in my ability to parent my child. Despite this, I try to ensure Emma visits them bi-monthly because they adore her, and the feeling is mutual. Several weeks ago, Emma contracted a stomach virus from a classmate at preschool.

I’m a full-time student and had an exam that day, so I asked my sibling to look after her for a few hours while I took it. They gladly accepted, so I dropped her off at their place that morning with all her medications, a timetable outlining when and how much of each medicine she should take, a bottle of electrolyte solution, and some spare outfits.

After the midterm, I went to get her, only to find that half of her medications, clothing, and Pedialyte were missing. When I inquired, they informed me that they had disposed of all of her medications and the Pedialyte because they were liquids and had been opened, implying I could have contaminated them to harm or sedate her (though it wouldn’t have been very effective). However, I would never harm my daughter or give her anything that her pediatrician hadn’t approved.

They also commented that I shouldn’t administer Tylenol and Motrin to her (despite her doctor’s approval), leading them to refrain from purchasing any Motrin. Subsequently, I inquired about the anti-nausea medication (which requires a prescription), and they dismissed the need for prescription-strength medication for a stomach bug.

They also believed her attire was unsuitable, so they donated it to their neighbor’s garage sale and purchased her new garments, which suggests they probably took her shopping while she was unwell and ought to have been resting. I departed with Emma and have not communicated with them since, except to inform them that they are prohibited from being near my child without supervision.

I’m working on thanksgiving so I was going to drop Emma off with my parents so she could see my family but I still don’t want her to be around them without me so I’m leaving her with her babysitter instead. Now my family is giving me a hard time for not letting my brother and SIL see Emma and are excusing what they did by saying they were just worried about her. AITA for not letting my daughter see my brother and SIL

See what others had to share with OP:

giantbrownguy −  NTA. Your brother and SIL are sabotaging your recovery and relationship with your child. I wouldn’t be surprised to see then talk negatively about you and your history as she gets older. You may need some distance to feel safer and have the mental capacity to deal with them. EDIT: Just want to say thanks for the awards fellow humans! It’s greatly appreciated.

NUT-me-SHELL −  NTA. They aren’t worried about Emma, they are trying to sabotage your parenting efforts so they can regain custody of your daughter. It was lovely that they gave her a safe place to be when it was needed, but you’ve earned your daughter and deserve to be her mother without these people treating you this way.

Elspetta −  NTA … my SO works for CPS and I just read this to him. He said you should absolutely report this to your social worker. They put your daughter in danger by throwing away her meds and it needs to be documented since they keep calling CPS on you.. Congratulations on your sobriety!

neverathought −  NTA You need to stand your ground here. They are constantly putting you in danger of losing your child by calling CPS on you. They threw away prescribed medication. They are acting as if Emma is their daughter and undermining your decisions as a parent. They need to be cut out of your and Emma’s life immediately.

StAlvis −  NTA I try to take her to see them a couple times a month.. #STOP.

crbryant1972 −  NTA You regained custody. They threw away opened bottles of medication because they were afraid even though you could give the child anything, at any point? I am sure you appreciated them getting temporary custody when it was needed but she is back in your custody now.

ForwardPlenty −  NTA Your Brother and SIL weren’t worried about Emma they still think that they are Emma’s guardians and they feel that she needs protection from you and that they know your child so much better. They need a reality check, and they get a time out.

You should anticipate ongoing visits from Child Protective Services, and they will likely deploy family members who will feign concern and worry, claiming to only want what’s best for Emma. Respond by making it clear that they have lost your trust and you are no longer comfortable with Emma being in their presence.

eleanor-rigby- −  NTA but a bit naïve to leave your child with people who relentlessly call CPS on you…?

TinyRascalSaurus −  NTA. The medications were prescribed by a doctor. They do not have medical knowledge sufficient to overrule a licensed professional, and should not have thrown it away. A fever can be very dangerous to a child if not brought down, and dehydration is an issue in children with the flu who might not be aware enough to know they need a drink.

Their behavior wasn’t focused on what was beneficial for your daughter; rather, it appeared to be motivated by a desire to oppose you. They put her at risk just to demonstrate your error, so I understand your decision to limit her contact with them.

Special_Respond7372 −  NTA. I understand that they were her guardians for a while and it might be difficult for them to accept that you are the parent and your decisions are now the ones that matter. That being said, what they did was completely inappropriate and uncalled for.

I concur that they’ll likely keep disregarding what you decide and shouldn’t have unsupervised time with your kid. They brought about this outcome through their choices, therefore they must face the music.

Edited to add: Ensure the sitter is aware that Emma is absolutely not to visit them for Thanksgiving. If they “happen to drop by to see her” or something similar, don’t even answer the door.