AITA for telling a friend’s bf her intentions of getting pregnant?

A Reddit user recounted how they revealed a friend’s scheming to her partner. Ashley was in a geographically separated relationship with Chris, who had stated clearly from the beginning his disinterest in having offspring. Regardless, Ashley jested and afterward confessed to plotting to sabotage their contraception to instigate a pregnancy before Chris underwent a vasectomy.

Ashley was challenged by the user, but she brushed it off. Worried about Chris, the user presented proof of Ashley’s actions. Consequently, Chris ended their relationship and evicted her. Ashley is now holding the user responsible for her problems.

‘ AITA for telling a friend’s bf her intentions of getting pregnant?’

A few years back, my good friend Ashley began a relationship with Chris, who lived far away. He treated her exceptionally well, and after several in-person visits, they chose to share a home. I felt thrilled for her, especially since she’d experienced some difficult relationships previously, and it was great to witness her in a positive and supportive partnership.

That happiness waned in the months leading up to her relocation several states away to live with him. The problem isn’t her move, but her constant joking regarding conceiving a child with Chris. Initially, I dismissed them as jests, but eventually, I understood Ashley’s sincerity. To provide background, Ashley has two children, aged 10 and 12, from a prior relationship.

Chris has been consistent in his stance against having children. From the outset of their relationship, he made it clear that he didn’t want any, and he reiterated this whenever she brought up the possibility of expanding their family, emphasizing that it was a non-negotiable issue for him. However, Chris is now prepared to embrace her children as if they were his own, driven by his love for her and his affection for her kids after getting to know them.

He understands that she and her children are inseparable, which isn’t a problem since they’re old enough to mostly take care of themselves.

In my opinion, Chris is a true friend for readily accepting her kids. Ashley’s statement about wanting a baby from him, “no matter what,” really bothered me.

It’s already a challenge to locate a significant other who treats you with respect and embraces children that aren’t biologically theirs. Discovering someone who embodies these qualities, only to then discuss scheming to coerce them into having a child, feels distasteful and exploitative. Prior to her relocation, I engaged in a conversation with Ashley, attempting to reason with her. Initially, she opposed my perspective, but eventually, it appeared that she grasped the reprehensible nature of such actions.

Once I believed she grasped the situation, I moved on and assisted her during the stressful relocation. Shortly after her departure, a mutual acquaintance with Wiccan/Metaphysical interests contacted me, clearly upset. She admitted that Ashley had approached her seeking a fertility spell shortly before moving.

This person I know was uneasy with the situation and declined to participate. When pressed, she explained that she had performed a ritual for a sincere and wholesome connection but had misled Ashley by claiming it was for conceiving. As you can imagine, my anger was intense. I reached out to Ashley, challenging her about what I had discovered, but she dismissed it with laughter, saying she was just desperate and that magic isn’t real anyway, so there was no damage done.

She then inadvertently revealed that, knowing Chris intended to undergo a vasectomy in the coming months, she had punctured their condoms in a final desperate attempt. At that moment, I felt compelled to speak out. I compiled screenshots of all their exchanges from recent months and forwarded them to Chris.

He got upset and told her to leave, which is reasonable. Now Ashley resents me because she was forced to move out abruptly. She also didn’t have a job or the resources to return. She thinks I’m awful for making her and her children homeless. Am I in the wrong? Should I have said nothing?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Potential_You −  NTA. YOURE 👏 LITERALLY 👏 SAVING 👏 SOMEONE 👏 FROM 👏 BEING 👏 BABY-TRAPPED. 👏 WE 👏 NEED 👏 MORE 👏 PEOPLE 👏 LIKE 👏 YOU 👏
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and the record-breaking 27000 upvotes! 😀 – 7:30 AM Edit 2: ty for another gold and 34K upvotes – 1:53 PM

International-Aside −  NTA. You didnt get her kicked out, she did with her deceitful and potentially very harmful behavior. This is worse than cheating on someone imo. Can you imagine if it were the other way around and he were the one poking holes in condoms? Ppl would drag him through the mud, and pretty sure its illegal to do in many places.

Deciding whether or not to have children is a deeply individual matter that should always be free from any form of pressure. Given her appalling and rude treatment of someone she professed to love, I believe you are better off without her friendship. I admire your strength and courage.

FardyMcJiggins −  NTA and I’m guessing her previous bad relationships were partially her fault, she needs professional help

Cochenballs −  NTA. I don’t know in what universe you would think you’re the a**hole- your “friend” is trying to force someone into a lifelong commitment they don’t want by lying and deceit. You absolutely did the right thing, don’t lose any sleep over it and cut this toxic person out of your life immediately.

Lurkingdutchman −  NTA, this sounds like female on male rape(aka forcing/tricking him to penetrate her in a way he didn’t concent to…)

Chewookiee −  NTA. Poking holes in a condom when it’s plain as day that he doesn’t want kids is horrifying. I mean seriously, that sounds psychopathic. 100% bravo on saving that dude. She will always hate you because you interrupted her selfish happiness. Best to let that friendship go man.

anxiousjellybean −  NTA, lying about being on birth control and poking holes in condoms etc. are acts of s**ual a**ault. You absolutely did the right thing by letting him know

[Reddit User] −  NTA. What she was doing/planning on doing is absolutely despicable. This is the consequence of her actions. It’s not like she was planning on getting a plant without his permission. She was actively lying to him and *poking holes in condoms* what is wrong with people?

brownshugababy −  NTA. You actually saved his life from becoming disastrous. He deserved to know the kind of person he was with. They’d have brought a child into a house where it’s dad wouldn’t have wanted them. She’s a horrible and m**ipulative person and she absolutely deserved being kicked out. She deserves to face the consequences of her actions.

SpaceIsTooFarAway −  NTA. If she poked holes in the condoms without telling him that’s rape. You did the right thing.