AITA for being cold to my ex-fiancé and demanding a paternity test after her infidelity?

Upon learning of his expectant partner’s infidelity and potential dishonesty regarding their baby’s parentage, a man in his late twenties or early thirties broke off their engagement and insisted on genetic testing. His fiancée confessed to the affair and admitted that the desire for financial stability played a role in her falsely identifying him as the father. He is now acting distant and unwilling to get back together, even though their mutual friends and her relatives are urging him to assist her throughout her pregnancy. He’s now uncertain whether he is being overly severe or whether his resentment is reasonable. Continue reading for the complete narrative.

‘ AITA for being cold to my ex-fiancé and demanding a paternity test after her infidelity?’

Currently, I’m dealing with a difficult set of circumstances. I have been behaving in an aloof and overbearing manner with my former fiance and insisting on a paternity test for the kid she is raising. My friends are telling me that I am acting like a complete jerk, but I disagree. Here’s what happened.

I had known my former girlfriend for close to a decade. Our friendship began in high school. Once we finished school, I decided to take a chance and asked her to be my girlfriend and we started dating. We were together for approximately six years until she informed me that she was expecting a child. I must admit, I was in love with her then, and the news thrilled me, so I asked her to marry me. She, on the other hand, appeared extremely anxious.

I sat down and discussed the situation with her. I assured her that, regardless of her choice regarding the pregnancy, I would remain supportive and still desired to marry her. She reacted with considerable discomfort, but ultimately chose to continue the pregnancy and agreed to marry me.

The last seven months have been a wild ride. She came to live with me, and we started preparing for our daughter’s arrival, intending to marry after the birth. However, a few weeks ago, someone I knew from high school contacted me. We weren’t close, but he confessed to feeling bad about letting an innocent person bear the consequences of his and my ex’s actions.

This individual asserted that he fathered my former partner’s baby and that she had been dishonest with me. As it happens, my ex and he reconnected roughly a year prior and engaged in sexual activity. They started having unprotected sexual encounters approximately when she conceived. His claims are truthful. He provided photographic evidence of their relationship and correspondence between them.

I managed to access my former partner’s device and verified the truth. Furthermore, he forwarded me several Facebook messages where my ex confessed to deceiving me, stating that it was because I earn more than the child’s biological father and she prefers that I provide for the child.

I was incredibly angry, to put it mildly. I challenged her, which led to tears from both of us and a generally awful situation. Ultimately, I ended the relationship immediately and forced her to leave my home. She is currently moving out, and I haven’t spoken to her at all. I’ve made it clear that I want her out of my life completely. I also insisted on a DNA test as soon as the baby arrives. If I am the father, I’ll assist with financial support. If not, I want nothing to do with her ever again.

I’ve been distant with her. She and her parents have made repeated attempts to “resolve things” with me, but I have declined any interaction with them. There was an instance when she gathered all her friends to try and speak with me, and I forced them out of the apartment, threatening to involve law enforcement. Each time she’s attempted to “make amends,” I’ve rejected it.

My social circle believes my stance is incorrect. They argue that due to her pregnancy, I should support her until childbirth, regardless of my paternity. I completely disagree, but I might be mistaken. Could my feelings be clouding my judgment and making me a jerk?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

fourbearants −  NTA. She has friends and family apparently. They can equally “help her till the baby is born even if it isn’t theirs.”.

Appreciation for the gold!

andreaaaaaa Edit 2: Plus, I earned my first platinum. Amazing. Evaluating others has proven quite fulfilling today.

Miomiya −  NTA. She cheated and you have proof of it. Also, she did it with uttermost malice, saying you were richer than the real father.

Devourer_of_felines −  NTA. You’ve solid evidence of her infidelity already. If that’s not even your biological kid why should you be paying for child support? If your friends think you’re being such an a**hole then they can pay her instead.

finifrugal −  NTA. The fact they’re being so defensive and shady about getting a paternity test is just more reason to get one. She’s also hurt you and you deserve the time and distance to heal.

forester93 −  NTA, if your friends are saying you’re an a**hole then you must be leaving something out. If your story is legit then you have every right to find out if the kid is yours and cut ties.

Swiollvfer −  NTA.. She cheated on you, she’s TA. PS: I believe they can now do paternity tests before the baby is born, you might want to look into that.

SquishyInkDoll −  NTA. She made this mess and she needs to pull up her big girl panties and deal with it. She cheated, lied, and manipulated two men because of her own selfishness. You’ve been together for years and she not only cheated on you but did so *unprotected* for *nearly a year*.

Furthermore, she confessed that her interest in you stemmed solely from your superior income compared to the other man. You are not required to support her; she has acquaintances and relatives who can tolerate her nonsense.

The instant the child is delivered, obtain a DNA test and refrain from signing anything until you have verified that you are the father. If the child is yours, you must obtain legal counsel and establish a custody agreement to prevent her from taking advantage of you, given her demonstrated irresponsibility and recklessness; the child should not have to bear the consequences of her mother’s actions.

If the child isn’t yours, disengage from the situation entirely and seek a partner who values you and the relationship. No individual should endure such disloyalty, and no child should be born into such circumstances. Best of luck.

Edit: My first gold! I appreciate it, mysterious benefactor!

jocoo4000 −  NTA, at least he told you the truth in the end. I would be devastated though, this wipes out the meaning of everything you two had. I’m sorry OP, sending all the love.

marrrrell −  God damn why do people think it’s necessary to care for someone who literally did the worst thing possible to you? Like do they think you can just forgive that i**asion of trust? I think it’s funny her parents want you to work it out too. People are freaking psychotic now a days. You sir will never be the a**hole. I’d be the same way if I were in the same situation.

mbrushin333 −  Nta. Your friends seem like assholes though.

Faced with the same circumstances, what actions would you take? Is his decision to shield himself from additional emotional distress justified, or does he have a greater obligation to provide assistance to his former partner while she is expecting? I encourage you to express your opinions; this narrative brings up intricate issues concerning faith, disloyalty, and accountability.