AITA for not including my SIL in photos during my bachelorette party because she wore white?

The future bride expressed her annoyance when her future sister-in-law showed up at her bachelorette party in a white dress resembling a wedding gown, despite the explicit instructions for all attendees to wear pink. Believing her SIL deliberately ignored the dress code, the bride left her out of the group pictures, which led to negative reactions from her brother and SIL.

The scenario has generated strain within the family, marked by claims of domineering actions and demanding, bride-like conduct. Explore the complete account to grasp the interactions and form your own opinion.

‘ AITA for not including my SIL in photos during my bachelorette party because she wore white?’

I’m about to get married, which is wonderful! My brother, “John,” has requested that I make his girlfriend, “Sarah,” a bridesmaid. He hopes it will integrate her into our family because he plans to propose shortly. This doesn’t thrill me, as she’s rather arrogant, practically like a caricature of a villain.

She used to tease me for buying most of my food at the huge local megastore instead of a place with “better” stuff. But I adore John, and it was important to him, so I went along with it. Now, about the problem: on the last night of my bachelorette party, we chose to have one “major” dinner that was super expensive and luxurious, something we all chipped in for.

Sarah mentioned an urgent work call and suggested we proceed to the restaurant, which was within walking distance of the hotel. Later, when Sarah arrived, I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was wearing a dazzling white sequined dress with a tulle skirt and a tiara. This happened after we had planned the trip.

OP: My maid of honor insisted that everyone wear pink for a photo op at the restaurant. Seriously, she dressed so much like a bride that the waitress wondered if we were sharing a bachelorette party. I was so annoyed that I wouldn’t let Sarah be in any of the pictures.

She tried to excuse herself by claiming ignorance, saying she “wasn’t informed,” but I pointed out that wearing a wedding-like dress to a bachelorette party when you’re not the bride is just obvious! Also, she participated in the group chat, even criticizing another girl’s outfit during our discussion about attire, so I’m sure she was aware!

All my friends supported me and ensured she wasn’t in any of the pictures. Once we arrived back home, she complained to my brother, claiming we had ganged up on her at the party and intentionally excluded her. She was also angry that many family members and friends noticed her absence from the photos, and I openly shared the reasons behind it with them.

He is quite unhappy because she has been constantly complaining and weeping about the situation. They are reportedly so angry that they intend to miss Father’s Day brunch, exacerbating the situation.

I’m beginning to feel guilty because my mother informed me that my brother and Sarah have been arguing frequently, making me question if I’m in the wrong. My brother labeled me a bridezilla, yet I genuinely believe Sarah was attempting to sabotage my evening.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Anxious-Ocelot-712 −  NTA! A TIARA and a TULLE SKIRT? All in white? Someone was clearly jealous of the attention you were getting. If the drama continues, I would reduce the size of the bridal party by one. Lord knows what kind of stunt she would pull on the wedding day. Edit: Holy cow, y’all! I’m a baby Redditor, and the response has been amazing! AND my first-ever award! Thank you SO MUCH!

townwitchkeebs −  NTA because tiara.

Tessa_Kamoda −  NTA. dear john, i really didn’t want sarah in my bridal party since i do not know / like her. there is no bond, no chemistry between us. but you, my brother, whom i love & cherish pleaded and begged me to invite her. for your sake i invited her despite my misgivings. and as i feared she tried to ruin our party, tried to be ‘the’ spotlight.

We, along with my mother of the bride and the bridesmaids, didn’t agree with it. After she insisted and outright misrepresented the dress code for the evening—claiming everyone needed to wear pink for the pictures—we made certain she wasn’t included in the photos since she didn’t wear pink, end of story. Furthermore, because she won’t admit she was wrong and exaggerated the situation,

Kindly inform her that she’s not just being demoted, but she’s also disinvited from my wedding altogether. This includes her not coming as a guest, nor as someone’s plus one. She’s officially uninvited and unwelcome. Her actions have convinced me that she’ll stop at nothing to sabotage the wedding.

and this is something i’m unwilling to jeopardize, much less condone. if you choose to boycott my wedding in support of her, i’ll be sad that you’re not there. regardless, my choice is final and i won’t be pressured into changing it. i am sorry.’

edit: i’m very grateful for the awards.

NotSoSure8765 −  NTA. This is a pretty cut and dry case of “f around and find out” to me. Actions have consequences, and she behaved not only inappropriately from a “social norms” pov but also from a simple “following instructions as part of a bridal party” pov. Is it possible that she wasn’t trying to ruin the dinner and made a mistake in outfit choice?

Perhaps she simply lacks good sense and is socially inept. However, even if that were so, she wouldn’t have the right to be in the planned group shot where everyone is wearing pink, and a typical person would feel regret and shame for making that kind of error. Even if that were the case, you’re also not to blame for the state of her relationship with your brother.

More than likely, your intuition was accurate, and she behaved spitefully for any number of illogical motivations, turning her into the TA. It’s not as if you wouldn’t allow her to join the elegant meal or removed her from the bridal party, correct? It’s simply a photograph. Therefore, congratulations on your marriage, and you should disregard this woman as she fades away. Hopefully, your brother gains knowledge from this situation and ceases directing his anger toward you.

HIOP-Sartre −  So a snobbish girl with the moxie to lie about not knowing the agreed-upon rule has the gall to show up like a bride (w/ a tiara, mind you) to your bachelorette party, then proceeds to throw a fit to your brother while g**lighting everyone,

User: this will fracture the family, and it will end up with a ridiculous decision to boycott Father’s Day brunch as some sort of silly demonstration. Haha, if John actually weds her, your life will be filled with problems forever. Best of luck. You are not the asshole.

PersonalityNo1096 −  Nta, she was wearing a tiara…. a tiara to someone else’s Bachelorette party. She knew exactly what she was doing.

dahmerpartyofone −  NTA But I’d remove her immediately from the bridal party. She sounds like someone who would “accidentally trip,” and spill something on a white dress. I wouldn’t put it past her to demand he proposes during your reception. Good luck with this one.

david4michael −  I know this is mostly women commenting on this post but even as a man id say kick her out of your bridal party. This wont be her last go at ruining your special day.

Amar_Akbar_Anthony20 −  NTA, Guys, when Sarah showed up, I was FLOORED. She came in a white sparkly sequin number with a tulle skirt and a tiara. The f**k, and deliberately left her out. She was also pissed because a lot of family and friends noticed she wasn’t in the photos and I wasn’t afraid to tell them exactly why. F**k around and find out SIL. SIL wore a f**king tiara please.

Shot-Tomato-5512 −  NTA at all. I can’t believe some people here are saying YTA to this when she clearly knew not to wear white and was told what to wear basically and even said in the post that she looked like a bride. It was so disrespectful of her to do that to you and take away your moment.