AITA for going “bridezilla” after my bridesmaid spilled wine on my wedding dress?

A bride shared her heartbreak after a bridesmaid spilled red wine on her late mother’s wedding dress, which she had been planning to wear for her ceremony. Her reaction led to her being labeled a “bridezilla” by her bridesmaids, and she’s wondering if she was in the wrong. Read the full story below:

‘ AITA for going “bridezilla” after my bridesmaid spilled wine on my wedding dress?’

I (27 F) tied the knot a month prior. I chose to wear the lengthy, ornate dress my mother had worn at her own wedding. My mother’s passing occurred around 2 years ago. Given the sentimental value of the dress, I had devised a plan to prevent any harm to it. I intended to wear it solely for the wedding ceremony, changing into a less formal outfit for the reception.

Donning the dress, I abstained from food and any beverage other than water, remaining indoors without exception. Typically, I’m not so obsessive about tidiness, but this garment belonged to my mother, and the mere prospect of it getting ruined devastated me. Still, I wanted to wear it at my wedding to feel her presence. She loved this dress and often wished I would wear it.

My bridal party was fully aware of my dress preferences. I had a preparation room located above the event space. The dress was hanging securely inside that room. On the wedding day, I briefly left my bridesmaids alone in the room to take care of a wedding-related matter downstairs. This is their account of what took place in my absence:

To celebrate, they uncorked a bottle of Pinot Noir, which is my favorite. After pouring some for themselves, they started to walk around and examine the room. Anna, one of my bridesmaids, a 27-year-old female, was curious and wanted to inspect my dress more closely. She approached it, and as she was touching the lace, the wine glass in her hand somehow slipped, causing wine to splash all over the bottom of the dress.

Upon reaching the upper floor, I was informed of the situation, and I broke down in tears. My maid of honor contacted a number of professional cleaning services, but they all stated that it would be impossible to have the dress ready before the ceremony. They did, however, provide instructions on how to preserve the dress until it could be taken to them, so my MOH began following those instructions.

Following that phone conversation, I was furious. I demanded to know from “Anna” why she was holding red wine so near to my dress, especially knowing how cautious I was being. She brushed it off, arguing it wasn’t a major issue since I intended to wear the dress anyway, implying it could have been ruined regardless.

I was shocked by her statement. I described her as inconsiderate, reckless, and unintelligent. I informed her that she was removed from the wedding party and asked her to go away. She departed, and we haven’t communicated since. I proceeded with the wedding ceremony in the gown I intended to wear at the after-party, devastated that I couldn’t wear my mother’s dress.

Following the ceremony, my bridal party teased me about being demanding for asking “Anna” to leave after she made a supposed “honest mistake”. I truly don’t believe I am in the wrong or a bridezilla since Anna’s response was so awful and disingenuous. Regardless, I wanted to share the story and see if more objective people think I’m the AH?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

loloannd −  Why??? WHY would you wander around with a glass of wine next to a white wedding dress that had such extreme sentimental value??. NTA.. I just.
They couldn’t have waited? They couldn’t have waited to have wine?

In my opinion, even without the emotional connection to your mother, the dress’s status as your wedding gown inherently elevates its importance. Taking steps to prevent significant, unsightly blemishes on your wedding dress doesn’t strike me as excessive or bridezilla-like behavior. Anna’s apparent lack of remorse further reinforces my belief that her removal was justified.

[Reddit User] −  Honey, I think you need new friends. That was NOT an accident. Anna did it on purpose and the others covered for her.. NTA.

straightaspasta −  NTA at all. After that call, I became extremely angry. I asked “Anna” what the hell she was doing holding red wine so close to my dress when she knew how careful I was being. She dismissed it and said it wasn’t such a big deal because I was planning to wear the dress, so it could have gotten damaged that way too.

This is precisely why I think your actions were reasonable. If I were in Ana’s shoes, I would have been incredibly embarrassed and would have apologized to you without end. (I also would not have allowed red wine anywhere near a wedding dress, especially one that is so meaningful).

Next-End-4696 −  I can’t be the only one who thinks she did this on purpose? I’m incredibly uncoordinated and even I wouldn’t do something like this.

Fainora −  NTA there is no way this was an accident.

No-Rub1544 −  NTA. Why the hell would anyone have red wine that close to the dress? She couldnt have waited to see it without the red wine?? I feel so bad you couldn’t wear your mothers dress. And to say it “could have been damaged from wearing it” is the lamest deflective excuse I would have done the same thing you did

Beck2010 −  Anna did that on purpose. NTA.

TinyRascalSaurus −  NTA. But why was there even red wine in the same room as that dress? Not saying any blame is on you, I’m just very confused why red wine was allowed when you were so stern about keeping the dress clean.

MajorRockstar79 −  Anna is a HUGE AH!! Bottom line. She was careless. She KNEW it was important to you as it would be for ANY bride but this was EXTRA and EVERYONE was aware. She should never have risked that. If people don’t understand that then they too are AH, but guess who ISNT one? YOU dear OP… NTA AT ALL.

I am so sorry you had to go through this. I believe you are justified in maintaining your position on this matter. This wasn’t a minor issue like a “ruined” birthday or a simple oversight such as “forgetting paper plates for a picnic”; this was a significant event in your life. She needs to give you a heartfelt apology that demonstrates a real understanding of her actions. Until that happens, you have every right to surround yourself with those who appreciate you and your emotions.

Sad-File3624 −  Why did they even open a red wine?! It might not have only been Anna trying to sabotage your wedding. Who thinks of opening a red wine before photos, and around a white dress?. NTA

Was the bride’s response reasonable, or was it an excessive reaction to an honest error? It’s a sensitive issue given the intensity of emotions on such a significant occasion. How do you feel about her handling of the matter? Comment below!