AITA for refusing to name our daughter Karen?

The expectant father voiced his opposition to naming his daughter “Karen,” even though it was his deceased mother-in-law’s name. He appreciates his wife’s desire to pay tribute to her mother, but he is worried about the name’s current associations and the potential for their daughter to be harassed.

He suggested either using “Karen” as a middle name or picking an entirely different first name. However, his wife feels slighted and wants to completely recognize her mother. This difference of opinion has strained their relationship. Read the complete article for additional details.

‘ AITA for refusing to name our daughter Karen?’

My spouse and I just learned that we are expecting a baby girl. We hadn’t seriously considered names yet, but we both concurred that we would each have the right to reject any choice. When we began sharing name ideas, we discovered that we both wished to name her in remembrance of our deceased mothers. Her mother was named Karen, while my mother had a name that hasn’t become an internet joke.

I suggested that the child could use my mother’s name as her first name and her mother’s name as a middle name, or even a completely new name, but I absolutely cannot agree to “Karen” as a first name. She took offense, claiming she simply wants to pay tribute to her mother and that I am the one with an issue.

I simply don’t want our daughter to be a target for bullying her whole life. I told her I’d be happy with any first name she chooses if it won’t cause the child to be teased later, but she’s really set on Karen. We discussed this and why she was so upset when I rejected it.

Since her mother passed away unexpectedly when she was just fourteen, she has always intended to give her first daughter her mother’s name, never truly taking into account that a particular meme could pose a problem. By then, I had pondered it for some time and come to the conclusion, as numerous comments have noted, that

Karen probably won’t remember the meme when she is old enough to understand it. That’s why I told her I’ll withdraw my rejection, but we should still think about it again since it could still cause issues, and we might be able to think of something better.

During our discussion, we found out that our mothers shared the same middle name, Elizabeth, which was quite a coincidence. Actually, my mother had two middle names, with Elizabeth being one of them. However, we both thought it was ideal, so we decided to use it. Thank you for your suggestions!

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Acceptable-Message59 −  NTA, it was a normal name, now it’s a joke. Imagine “baby Karen”. People are gonna make jokes all her life.

brittypop87 −  I personally feel like the “Karen” thing will die off one day, and our childrens’ generation will likely not know anything about it. However, I can see where you would still be adamant about not wanting to name her that. There is a bit of a stigma around that name TODAY. I think you guys should take a different route in name picking and just steer clear of tribute naming. Good luck!!! NTA

TaterrrTot3 −  NTA. Give her 2 middle names and pick a completely new first name? Or if there is a way to combine your mom’s name and her mom’s name to create a new name, that might be cool.

Perhaps propose alternatives such as Corinne (with variant spellings like Korrine or Karyn – my middle name is Caryn), Carley (Karlie, Karley), or Ren? This approach subtly incorporates elements of her mother’s name as a tribute, while simultaneously granting your daughter a distinct identity through her own name.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. I get where you are coming from. We did the same thing except we used my mom’s middle name as her first name. That way we knew it was a tribute to my mom but no one else needed to know.

This happened way before the Karen phenomenon became widespread. The other factor that influenced our choice of the middle name was the potential awkwardness of me scolding my child (which luckily wasn’t a frequent occurrence) while using my mother’s name.

Raising_some_Cain −  NAH. you both have good reasons, you suggested a compromise and you’ve discussed veto power. I think the only solution you can find is to convince her to accept other suggestions and find something else you both agree on.

cedreamge −  NAH but you’re being quite silly, mate. Memes don’t live 20 years.

thatphotogurl −  Your baby will thank you for NOT naming her Karen. NTA.

SandwichOtter −  NAH. I have come around to really hating the name memes. I have used “Karen” as an insult a few times, but I regret it now. It sucks because real people have that name and it’s really not fair to them. It’s not like there’s anything inherently bad about the name Karen. It’s actually a pretty name beyond that context.

I can appreciate your wife’s perspective, and I agree that the meme trend will probably fade away before your daughter is old enough to experience bullying because of it. Furthermore, numerous individuals named Karen navigate their lives without encountering any difficulties related to their name. Nevertheless, I also empathize with your viewpoint.

You want to avoid placing undue stress on your daughter. The elevated status now afforded to your selected name likely contributes to your wife’s animosity. I suggest that you both discuss and find a mutually acceptable option, perhaps a modified version of the name, such as “Kara.”

tunisia3507 −  Leaning towards ESH, in that you’re using the Karen thing to “win” the competition of whose mother gets to be the namesake. It’s clear to see why your wife would feel slighted when you would get your way thanks to a random passing fad. Use them both as middle names and pick something else as a first name.

FerretAres −  YTA The Karen meme needs to die a quick death and Karen as a name is an extremely normal name. Dislike it away and use your veto, but you need to stop calling her mothers name a meme. That’s just mean to your wife.

Within a snug, light-hued nursery, a pair is locked in a strained discussion. The father, perched on a little seat, seems worried, gesticulating as he clarifies his stance. Meanwhile, the mother is standing by a bassinet, a list of potential baby names in her hand, an expression of distress on her face. The scene evokes the blend of excitement and difficulties that come with expecting a baby!