AITA for refusing to take my friends package with me internationally without opening and checking it first?

A person on Reddit recounts a troubling situation: a friend requested that they transport a parcel on an international flight and hand it over to someone abroad. When the user requested to inspect the package as a safety measure, their friend declined, claiming it held “sensitive material.”

The situation escalated into a fierce dispute, with the friend labeling the user as self-centered and ending their relationship. Considering the possible dangers and questionable circumstances, along with gossip regarding the recipient’s past involvement in illegal activities, the user questions whether they erred in declining the request. See the complete account detailed below!

‘ AITA for refusing to take my friends package with me internationally without opening and checking it first?’

I will soon be flying to the other side of the world, and my friend asked me to take a package with me and deliver it to her friend who lives in the country I am flying to. Now, I trust my friend with my life, but I told her that since it’s an international flight and taking unneeded risks are unwise, I would appreciate it if I can open the package, with her present, and look through it just to make sure there’s nothing “undesirable” in it.

She instantly takes offense, even raising her voice and expressing disbelief that I don’t have faith in her, accusing me of violating her personal space. She called me self-centered and overly suspicious, refusing to let me look at the package due to its “private nature.” This made me even more anxious, so I apologized and explained that I couldn’t proceed without ensuring its safety.

She began weeping and exited the room. Subsequently, she sent me a message accusing me of being self-centered and stating that she no longer wished to communicate with me. Although I feel remorseful, I am aware of numerous accounts and I am unwilling to be held accountable for any potentially “sensitive material” contained within her package. Reddit, am I the asshole?

Edit1: A comment prompted me to elaborate. Although I deeply trust my friend, it’s relevant to know she grows and stores weed in spice containers. I thought I detected sounds of glass breaking within the package, and she’s previously joked about her ability to sneak weed through disguised as spices, suggesting that “they wouldn’t suspect a thing.” Despite my trust, I need reassurance. It upsets me that she’s upset, and I only want her to grasp my perspective.

Edit2: Incredible! I can’t believe how many people have interacted with my post since this morning! I appreciate everyone’s comments and for letting me know I’m not the bad guy! And thank you for the awards! Regarding updates, my friend has not contacted me directly since what happened and instead sent a message through another friend saying that she will only speak with me if I accept this package from her, and “have faith in our friendship”.

I learned from another acquaintance that the intended recipient of the package has a shady background related to illegal substances; though the details were vague, my friend implied the person does more than just consume them. I’m not trying to make accusations – rumors can be misleading, and everyone is presumed innocent until proven otherwise – but I’m absolutely refusing to deliver the package without a thorough inspection first.

Edit3: I just noticed someone inquired whether I’m acquainted with a Jason who refrigerates olives, and this was my response: “Apologies for the delayed response! Ironically, her partner is named Jason! As an amusing addition to this anecdote, he’s such a devoted fan of Breaking Bad that he officially adopted Walter as his middle name! However, I’m unsure if they store their olives in the fridge.”

I have just finished reading the story about Jason and his chilled olives, and while there might be a link, it’s probably unlikely. I’ll do my best to look into it, but honestly, I’m a bit too scared by what’s happening to actively “investigate” for my own well-being. I’ll keep this updated if you’re all still interested. Thanks again to everyone!

Final Update: I appreciate all the accolades and feedback. I’m easily swayed, a fact my friend is aware of. She can be quite cunning, leading me to doubt my decisions. She remains distant, which I accept.

Our mutual acquaintance located the shipping container for the package in the garbage outside her home, leading me to believe she has decided against sending it. I am unaware of the contents, but the available evidence suggests it contained an illegal substance, though going into the details would be too lengthy. I now hope it was merely marijuana and nothing more hazardous. Again, I appreciate everyone’s help!

See what others had to share with OP:

FeralHat −  NTA – major red flag. Don’t f**king do it.

StAlvis −  NTA. She told me I’m being selfish and paranoid. “Paranoid” is **exactly** what any reasonable person *should be* in this super-sketchy situation.

Haber87 −  NTA. Customs asks if you’ve packed everything yourself. You would either have to:

acknowledge your oversight, and they would proceed to unseal it while you watch.

Alternatively, you could make a false statement (a criminal act) claiming prior consent, but your nervousness, fidgeting, or vocal cues would betray you, leading to an immediate inspection.

MonkeyNacho −  NTA. That’s how you get sent to prison. Customs would have opened it anyway.

antiquity_queen −  NTA. Under no circumstances should you ever, and I do mean ever, take a package for anyone without seeing what is in it with your own eyes and then packing it immediately after.

HowardProject −  NTA – your friend’s reaction should tell you everything you need to know – she’s not your friend and she’s going to get you f***** over International and that s*** is serious jail time

jennylouwhoo −  NTA she can mail it if she doesn’t want you to know what’s in it.

lapsteelguitar −  I would open the package for a domestic flight. An international flight is even riskier. So don’t talk to her. Works for everybody.

CT0760 −  NTA, the rules at an airport say dont take things for other people if you dont know what it is. You could unknowingly be a mule and get arrested. You made a reasonable request and were gaslighted by your friend, you arent the AH, your friend is. If she wanted something sent without going thru it she can have it delivered herself thru the mail, dhl, ups, fedex, etc…

CryExotic3558 −  NTA at all. This is how people end up in foreign prisons.

Was the user correct in declining the package, despite knowing it would bother their friend? Or should friendship supersede these types of worries? Have you ever had to choose your own well-being over doing something for a friend? Tell us about it in the comments.