AITA for cutting up and altering my wedding dress into a functional dress instead of giving it to my sister who can’t afford an expensive dress?

A woman on Reddit recounts how she took control of her narrative following a called-off wedding by repurposing her bridal gown into a wearable dress. This choice, however, led to a disagreement with her sister, who had expected to inherit the dress for her own nuptials.

‘ AITA for cutting up and altering my wedding dress into a functional dress instead of giving it to my sister who can’t afford an expensive dress?’

I need an unbiased opinion on this because I don’t know if i was the a**hole. So I was supposed to get married 2 moths ago to my ex partner of 5 years. Sadly we broke it off because he cheated on me on his bachelor party with a str*per. I had this beautiful dress that cost me arround 2k dollars (out of my pocket). I had been very depressed since everything happened because I felt it was somehow my fault for not being sexy enough or not giving him what he wanted.

So last weekend I decided to “take my power back” and I began altering the dress. I have been sewing for 15 plus years so I know what I am doing. I cut it a bit, changed the color to something less wedding-y and after a week of work I had a beautiful gown that I could use for more stuff. The problem comes now. I uploaded that picture of the dress to Instagram with a caption that said something along the lines of ” you can change the worst memories” or some s**t like that.

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My sister contacted me, curious if the dress I wore was from my previous wedding, and I confirmed it was. Following that, she phoned, questioning my decision. I inquired about the significance of the matter, to which she responded that I should have waited until after her wedding. I was bewildered until she brought up a past incident at the hotel where my wedding was originally planned. She reminded me that my mom and sister were there to comfort me, and my sister had jokingly said something like, “Well, if you’re not going to use it, I will.”

We all laughed so I thought it was a joke because it was never brought up again after. She just asked me once what material it was so I assumed she wanted something similar. Now my sister is mad at me and my mom says she understands our povs. But that I could have waited 5 more moths till after her wedding to “take my power back”. AITA?

Check out how the community responded:

runthereszombies −  NTA. I think it’s pretty insensitive for your sister to expect to use your wedding dress. She needs to consider how painful it would probably be for you to sit at her wedding and watch her walk down the aisle in the dress you were supposed to wear for your wedding, which then turned into a terrible memory. You do what’s best for you, and you should feel proud of yourself for reclaiming your power and turning the dress into something new and positive for you.

Renzieface −  NTA. Wear the dress proudly, you fabric whisperer! It always lowkey blows my mind when family members assume that blood has the same purchasing power as cash and/or skill. Naw, Becky. I made this happen with my money, and then I made it happen again with my hands. Shoo shoo.

stunning-stasis −  NTA. Did your sister think about how awkward it would have made you feel to see her get married in the dress that was supposed to be yours?

[Reddit User] −  NTA wear it to her wedding lol.

Ryakai8291 −  Off topic: I need a photo of said dress before and after!. On topic: NTA.

Aristotle_El −  NTA because its your dress and… “oh well if you are not using it i will”. We all laughed so I thought it was a joke. Learn to be direct, “hay can i wear your dress to my wedding” would have been a unmistakable request.

kaitou1011 −  NTA. I was going to say NAH because this seemed to be a communication breakdown where she had asked to use your dress and you just hadn’t taken the ask seriously… but your sister is the a**hole for not *following up* on the dress thing before this point, because her wedding is in five months. If she was going to be wearing your wedding dress, she should be arranging alterations for it by this point, so she should have said something a month or so ago to follow up and take the dress into her own possession.

EDIT: I noticed that you all recognized my declaration of the sister being the AH, correct? I posted my comment when approximately half of the scant comments present were suggesting “NO, because this was merely a significant misunderstanding.” Therefore, that explains why I felt compelled to articulate my disagreement. (Hence a comment stating: Yes, a major miscommunication occurred, but the sister ought to have provided clarification much sooner, thus she remains the AH).

It’s definitely not my intention to suggest that the original poster was incapable of declining at that moment. Furthermore, for those who believe the sister is automatically a jerk simply for posing the question, I disagree. The act of asking, regardless of the question’s strangeness, isn’t inherently wrong.

ambitiousgardener −  So effectively you’d be paying $2000 to watch your sister get married in the dress you were supposed to wear on what was supposed to be the happiest day of your life? I’d feel upset about that, too. Plus it sounds like she never made it explicitly clear she wanted your dress. NTA.

wickedkittylitter −  NTA. You bought the dress and can do whatever you want with it. She’s nuts to think that you would remember her comment of using the dress when you had just gone through a horrible emotional situation. Plus, her saying that and reminding you that she was getting married when your engagement had just ended was cruel. BTW, did she offer to pay you for the dress or did she just expect to use it for free? Sounds like she might be a mooch.

naturegoths −  Do guys think the bachelor party is a free pass? The amount of times I’ve heard this is nuts.