AITA for asking my MIL to dish out more money for our wedding since she wants so many family members there?

A bride-to-be on Reddit voiced her annoyance after her future mother-in-law took it upon herself to add distant relatives to the wedding guest list. The engaged couple had meticulously curated their invitations, and now they are contending with unexpected attendees and escalating expenses.

She is thinking about requesting greater monetary assistance from her mother-in-law, given that a significant number of invitees are individuals her MIL specifically wanted to include. Is this a reasonable course of action, or is she going too far? The complete narrative is provided below.

‘ AITA for asking my MIL to dish out more money for our wedding since she wants so many family members there?’

A woman getting married expressed her annoyance with an uncomfortable disagreement with her future mother-in-law regarding wedding arrangements. As she and her fiancé prepare for their spring nuptials, they meticulously crafted an invitation list featuring numerous relatives of his with whom she has established connections and cultivated bonds.

However, the situation took an unforeseen twist when she spotted unknown individuals listed on their address gathering sheet. As it happens, her soon-to-be mother-in-law had disseminated their sheet to distant relatives—without consent—and had even sent it to people they had intentionally chosen not to include, such as a relative her fiancé had not communicated with since childhood.

The bride is currently questioning whether her actions were inappropriate in:

Refusing to extend an invitation to these uninvited individuals, and

b) Asking her mother-in-law to increase her financial contribution, especially since one-third of the invitees are her MIL’s family, while less than a quarter are from her own family.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

twelvedayslate −  I would say “we can’t afford to invite this many people. We need to cut down on the invite list” and see what she says. Maybe she’ll be fine with them not being invited. Maybe she’ll offer you money. But no one is obligated to pay for YOUR wedding.

Basilsainttsadface −  NTA, but this falls entirely on your fiance’s shoulders to handle.  It’s his mom.  I firmly believe each spouse is responsible for for dealing with their respective parent.   I hope your future hubby is willing to deal with this.  If he can’t stand up to her and put up boundaries, you’re in for lots of fun and games.  If she wants to intrude on the wedding, I promise she’ll do the same with you marriage.  Set boundaries and enforce them.

SunnyBunnyHopHop −  NTA, but I would suggest if you don’t actually want these other guests to come, then don’t invite them – and tell your MIL she can explain the address collection to the non-invitees herself.  Bottom line, don’t let your MIL b**ly you into inviting ppl you don’t want at your wedding; it is your wedding, not hers.  If you don’t really mind adding the other attendees, then it’s only fair MIL help cover the costs for them to attend.  

Kasparian −  Simply say: I’m sorry, but we won’t be able to accommodate anyone else. The guest list is set, and we won’t changing our minds.

Armorer- −  Discuss this your partner first and agree to limit the guest list to previously approved guest list and have them communicate this to their parents without involving you. You should not ask for any financial support, just decline to add the guests.

Full_Pace7666 −  I wouldn’t even ask for more money, just don’t invite the 4 people. NTA

Mammoth_Piglet_3063 −  A lot of replies say to just not invite them, but how does this stop MIL? If she can forward the address form, she will find a way to forward the invitation. NTA, but don’t ignore this.

AgeBeneficial −  My parents paid for additional family to attend. They didn’t demand or do something…this icky. We didn’t mind, but if we are paying for a wedding, we make the list.. She needs to pay or stfu.

Prestigious-Name-323 −  NTA but just because she collected the address doesn’t mean you need to use it.

StAlvis −  NTA. Just don’t invite them. Don’t even acknowledge her b**lshit. Don’t give her the satisfaction of feeling like she has any input at all here.

Should the bride be right in requesting monetary assistance from her mother-in-law if she demands the inclusion of additional invitees? Alternatively, should the pair adhere to their initial arrangement and uphold their established guest roster? What would be your course of action in similar circumstances? Express your opinions in the section below.