AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to be near her if she has bed bugs?

A 27-year-old male on Reddit was eating lunch with his 25-year-old girlfriend when she brought up some unexplained bites on her inner thigh, guessing they were flea bites. After looking into it, the man proposed they could be bed bug bites and told her that if she did have bed bugs, he would want to avoid being around her, as he was worried about infesting his own home. His girlfriend was offended by his words, saying they made her feel disgusting and created distance between them. The man is now questioning whether he was wrong to say what he did. Read on to see if his reaction was reasonable.

‘ AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to be near her if she has bed bugs?’

My girlfriend (25F) and I (27M) were eating lunch when fleas were mentioned. Recently, she’s been getting bitten seemingly at random on her inner thigh. She suspects her dog is the source of the fleas. I did a quick search online and compared her bites to pictures of flea bites, but they didn’t seem to match. Then I searched for bed bug bites. The bed bug bite images looked more similar to her bites.

This is where I might be the jerk. I then informed her that if she had bedbugs, I couldn’t be around her at all, or they would get on my clothes and I would carry them back to my place. She didn’t appreciate my response and accused me of not caring for her, making her feel disgusting, and distancing myself from her.

I don’t share a residence with this person. It’s unverified whether or not bed bugs are actually present. I did suggest that she inspect her own living space for any indication of bed bugs.

Check out how the community responded:

Lex-tailonis −  “She did not like my answer and proceeded to tell me that I didn’t love her, made her feel gross, and I was pushing her away.” Or maybe it’s that she doesn’t love you if she’s willing to give you bed bugs.. NTA.

writinwater −  NTA. You probably could have been more tactful, but bedbugs are no joke. You damn near have to nuke the entire block to get rid of them.

byrandomchance20 −  YTA – BUT before I get jumped on, let me explain. You would not be TA for putting a stop on spending physical time around your girlfriend IF she actually has bedbugs at her place. But you immediately leaped to handling the situation poorly based on Dr. Google instead of any actual infestation proof.

Bedbugs are truly terrible, just the WORST. Dealing with them can be a major headache and cost a lot of money. You’re absolutely justified in feeling however you feel about how to respond if your girlfriend genuinely has them. However, despite the fact that bedbugs aren’t caused by being dirty, many people wrongly associate them with a lack of cleanliness and good housekeeping. You should have been more understanding and reassuring, but instead, you immediately assumed the worst and made her feel terrible. That’s why you’re the one in the wrong.

It’s unlikely you’ll accurately identify bedbug bites by comparing them to pictures online. Also, it’s worth noting that some individuals don’t show any reaction to bedbug bites. Therefore, it’s possible you have them and unknowingly passed them on, as you might not experience any symptoms. This isn’t to say that’s definitely what occurred, but it’s a possibility to consider.

Should you have even the slightest concern about bedbugs, it would be prudent for both of you to check for indications of their presence in their preferred hiding spots. Given the potential for your girlfriend’s infestation to have spread, you should also inspect your own residence as a precautionary measure. For guidance and suggestions on managing these troublesome pests, the bedbug subreddit is a valuable resource.

Full_Pace7666 −  Maybe jumping immediately “I can’t be near you.” Was a misstep considering it’s yet to be determined what’s actually going on, but mostly NTA otherwise. I think it’s more than reasonable if you have something that people could catch or bring into their own home to keep a wide berth from others.

MalMM14R −  NTA. I am absolutely terrified of getting bed bugs so I don’t blame you for being cautious! However, they do take a long time and a lot of money to get rid of once you have them so saying I can’t be near you while you have them is going to be a long commitment.

There are solutions to this issue. When you spend time with others, bring a spare set of clothes to put on prior to re-entering your home, and immediately seal your worn clothes in a bag. Wash them as soon as you arrive home, and this should prevent bringing them indoors. If possible, leave your shoes outside too.

I personally wouldn’t be comfortable with her coming over to my house, but you can go over to hers or hang out in public areas as long as you take these steps to make sure you are not bringing them back to your place. Edit: I should have made it clear in my original comment that after washing you should immediately put them in the dryer on high heat for a minimum of 30 minutes as the heat is what will actually get rid of them not washing them!

Bloodthirsty_Kirby −  Oh I have a nightmare fuel story from my childhood. I was like 7 and I had this constant rash on my inner thighs, eventually my parents take me to the doctor, nothing helped the rash wouldn’t leave. Eventually the doctor determines them to be bug bites. For months I was living with a giant nest of spiders that burrowed into my mattress from the bottom! Got a new mattress and the rash went away.

Friendly-Log6415 −  NTA. You don’t hate her you hate bedbugs.

Supernova-Max −  I’ll gladly give up having s** than to get some damn bed bugs NTA.

PeaInternational9926 −  I once dated a guy with bed bugs. Didn’t know. I ended up with them. It was absolutely hell for months.

carmvael −  definitely NTA. i too wouldnt want to be passed some bed bugs. its better to be safe and prevent it.