AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she called me “lazy” for working from home?

A remote worker on Reddit was recently approached by their sister to watch her children during their work hours, as childcare was too costly. When the user declined due to work obligations, the sister labeled them “lazy” and questioned the legitimacy of their job. The family is now split, with some supporting the sister and others agreeing with the user. Was it selfish to refuse to babysit, or are the sister’s request and response unjustified?

‘ AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she called me “lazy” for working from home?’

I’m a 30-year-old female with a full-time remote job. My work requires more than simply logging in whenever I want; it involves a structured schedule, intense focus, and strict deadlines. While working remotely offers some flexibility, it doesn’t mean I have unlimited freedom during work hours.

My sister (33F) recently asked me for a favor. With two small children, she’s struggling with the increasing expense of childcare and hoped I could watch them during the day. Although I understand her predicament, I had to decline. Juggling my job with the care of two children is beyond my capabilities. My work demands concentration, and interruptions could negatively impact my performance, potentially even leading to job loss.

Upon clarifying this to her, she became angered and called me “lazy.” She stated that telecommuting wasn’t a legitimate job and hinted that I was using flimsy reasoning to get out of assisting her. This remark wounded me because I dedicate myself to furthering my career and supporting myself.

Her disclosure of my denial to additional relatives worsened the issue. Certain individuals among them currently consider me ungenerous for not offering assistance. Their stance is that familial bonds necessitate mutual support, implying that I should seek a solution, possibly involving a reduced commitment.

I’m annoyed because I don’t believe my limits and duties are being honored. I realize that caring for children is costly, and I genuinely empathize with her difficulties as a parent. However, I don’t believe it’s right for her to disregard my work as insignificant or label me as idle when I’m merely attempting to safeguard my ability to earn a living.

Am I in the wrong for declining to provide childcare, despite the negative reactions from my sister and certain relatives?

See what others had to share with OP:

Itchy-Raspberry-4432 −  Tell her to get a WFH job & she can look after her children herself.

silvergiltsky −  Your sister is an entitled b. If she really thinks insulting your job is the way to get a huge, long-term favor from you, she needs to learn otherwise. Don’t back down, no matter what flying monkeys she sends or smear campaigns she launches. It will die down eventually–and if it doesn’t, you’re well rid of people who have no respect for anyone’s time or life requirements but their own.

lychigo −  I don’t even know why this is a question. When you are at work, you are at work. Work isn’t paying you to watch her kids. Those are HER kids, HER responsibility. Not your’s. HERS. You shouldn’t even hesitate to say no. And your other family members can watch the kids for her for free.

ilnaturista −  NTA. Working from home doesn’t mean you’re free to babysit—it’s still a real job with responsibilities and deadlines. Your sister’s comment about being “lazy” is unfair and dismissive of the hard work it takes to manage a full-time remote job. It’s understandable that she’s stressed about daycare costs, but that doesn’t mean her solution should come at the expense of your job and livelihood.

You aren’t acting selfishly; you’re establishing appropriate limits. Maybe you could suggest alternative support methods, such as helping her locate cheaper childcare, but you’re completely justified in giving precedence to your job while you’re at work.

Fioreborn −  Tell the family who are agreeing with her that they are more than welcome to babysit for her.

NoExplanation7119 −  NTA- many companies my own included have strict guidelines on childcare in the home while you are at work. It is a total no-no on a day-to-day basis, although in case of emergencies like the occasional child home sick from school they will allow it if it doesn’t interfere with your work. Tell your sister you’re not putting your job at risk.

writing_mm_romance −  She sounds like a peach. Tell her if her “real job” doesn’t pay her enough to afford to live, then maybe she should stop being lazy and get a second “real job”.

Krasnian −  I wfh and my wife says Im the laziest person she knows. The job is intense and every day I’m spent. To me the job is the same whether in the office or at home just wfh I save money by not commuting and adding extra expenses to our lives.

RantyMcThrowaway −  NTA obviously.

Clean_Factor9673 −  NTA. You’re being paid to work during the day. Babysitting a couple hours in an emergency would be one thing but you’re being paid to work. Your employer expects you to get the work done.