AITA for calling out my sister for br**stfeeding at my wedding?
Ah, weddings—the pinnacle of carefully orchestrated events where every detail is meticulously planned, from the floral arrangements to the seating chart. But what happens when an unexpected element disrupts the vision? Enter the unscheduled guest: an infant with a perfectly reasonable yet highly inconvenient need to eat.
This was far from a trivial matter for the original poster. His sister, a recent parent, attended his wedding with her infant, who was only two months old, and breastfed the child whenever it was needed. This wasn’t an isolated event; the original poster had previously witnessed her breastfeeding at family events, in public places, and even at their parents’ home. However, at his wedding, in front of 250 attendees, the original poster reached his limit. His request was straightforward: he simply asked her to use a bottle for the evening.
Their answer? An unyielding refusal. This led to a split within the family, leaving the original poster isolated in their disappointment. However, was their behavior reasonable, or were they truly the bad actor, as their spouse, relatives, and apparently everyone else claimed?
‘AITA for calling out my sister for br**stfeeding at my wedding?’
Expert Opinion:
The public breastfeeding debate continues to spark discussion, frequently highlighting society’s unease with women controlling their own bodies. In the original poster’s situation, the main issue arises from his belief that breastfeeding is unsuitable for a formal occasion, which contrasts sharply with his sister’s stance that feeding her child is an absolute requirement.
Understanding the Core Conflict:
A key misunderstanding in OP’s frustration is the assumption that breastfeeding is a matter of choice rather than necessity. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), newborns require frequent feeding—up to 12 times a day—due to their small stomach capacity. Disrupting this routine can be stressful for both the baby and the mother.
Additionally, studies from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) indicate that forcing a breastfed baby to switch to formula or bottle-feeding can result in rejection, digestive issues, and supply problems for the mother.
Moreover, the original poster’s idea that his sister should “compromise” doesn’t take into account that pumping isn’t just an easy substitute. Studies from the Journal of Human Lactation show that certain women experience pumping as agonizing, unproductive, and emotionally taxing. The idea that she could just pump for ease of use doesn’t give enough weight to these real physical and functional concerns.
Expert Insights:
Dr. Laura Riley, an OB-GYN and maternal health expert at Weill Cornell Medicine, states: “Breastfeeding is often misunderstood by those who haven’t experienced it. While some mothers find it easy to switch between breast and bottle, others struggle with supply issues and baby rejection. Public breastfeeding is not a statement; it’s a necessity.”
Additionally, a 2021 study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) emphasizes that societal stigma around breastfeeding in public contributes to unnecessary maternal stress, leading some women to stop breastfeeding earlier than recommended. OP’s reaction is a textbook example of this pressure—placing etiquette over infant well-being.
Proposed Solutions and Takeaways:
For individuals encountering comparable interpersonal scenarios, the following are some essential insights:
- Recognize Necessity Over Preference – Babies need to eat frequently, and mothers cannot always plan around rigid social schedules. Understanding this reality fosters empathy.
- Respect Bodily Autonomy – A mother’s right to feed her child should not be dictated by others’ comfort levels. If someone is uncomfortable, they can look away.
- Shift Social Norms – Instead of treating breastfeeding as an intrusion, normalizing it can lead to a more inclusive and understanding culture.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
The user’s annoyance, while relatable in the context of wedding arrangements, doesn’t take into account the natural aspects of nursing and his sister’s independence as a parent. Given that his spouse and family are also disagreeing with him, it’s evident that societal attitudes are evolving to be more supportive of breastfeeding in public spaces.
Do you have any thoughts? Was the original poster right to act as they did, or do more formal situations call for a more restrained approach?
