AITA for telling my sister she can’t bring her kids to my wedding after she let them destroy my engagement gifts?

A 27-year-old female Reddit user is at odds with her 34-year-old sister regarding her decision to have a wedding without children. Following the havoc her sister’s children wreaked at her engagement celebration—harming presents and causing commotions—the user asked for greater respect going forward. Upon revealing that her wedding would be child-free, her sister grew angry, charging her with alienating her relatives and even harboring envy towards her offspring. The user is now questioning if she is unjustified in her desire to shield her wedding from additional disturbances.

‘ AITA for telling my sister she can’t bring her kids to my wedding after she let them destroy my engagement gifts?’

I (27F) became engaged to my fiancé (29M) earlier this year, and we are in the process of arranging our wedding for next spring. I am incredibly happy about this new stage in my life, but my older sister (34F) is causing significant problems.

My sister’s three children (a ten-year-old boy, a seven-year-old girl, and a three-year-old girl) can be quite challenging. Although I adore them, their mother rarely disciplines them. At my engagement celebration, they utterly ruined the presents I was given. One child drenched a photo album my closest friend created for me in juice, another tore open a present out of “curiosity,” and the youngest toppled a cake display. My sister simply dismissed the behavior, remarking, “That’s just kids being kids!”

I was seething, but I refrained from making a spectacle then. Later, I spoke with her in private, requesting that she pay closer attention to her children’s conduct during similar occasions going forward. She reacted defensively, accusing me of being overly strict and claiming that “raising children is chaotic.”

Now that we are in the midst of wedding preparations, I informed her of our decision to have a wedding without children present to prevent potential disturbances. She became very angry, claiming that I was alienating her relatives and causing her to feel unwanted. She even suggested that my desire stemmed from envy, given that I am not yet a parent. My parents agree with her, urging me to show greater empathy and emphasizing the importance of family. However, my intention is simply to have a pleasant wedding day without the worry of her children causing yet another incident. Am I the one in the wrong?

Check out how the community responded:

straightupgab −  plenty of people have child free weddings. nta. it’s your day not hers.

SorrelSpice −  NTA! there’s a thin line between ‘kids will be kids’ and being undisciplined, and hers are undisciplined! Go have your wedding day the way you want OP.

sorceressofgrayskull −  An almost identical story was posted yesterday but the kids ruined OP’s dress at the engagement party. In the post it was referred to as a wedding dress though.

OkieH3 −  Oh come on, do better with these posts.

IllustriousEnd2055 −  AITA AI Formula:. AITA for: Not inviting my sister’s/friend’s/cousin’s/SIL’s kids. To my wedding/bar mitzvah/gender reveal. Because they ripped open presents/grabbed the mic/embarrassed me/pooped on the cake. And now my family is siding with and them saying I should give in to keep the peace.

NovelAd4308 −  Saw this same post yesterday except the sister’s kids messed up the dress of the bride at the engagement party. Then the bride said she didn’t want the sister’s kids at the wedding. Come on people do better with these posts.