AITA for refusing to eat from my colleague’s vegan birthday cake?

An employee who follows a vegan diet declines to partake in a birthday cake prepared by a coworker who has been dismissive of her dietary preferences. Although the coworker asserts that the cake is vegan, she failed to verify the ingredients thoroughly. The employee’s decision to abstain provokes a strong response from the coworker, causing the employee to wonder if her actions were inappropriate.

‘ AITA for refusing to eat from my colleague’s vegan birthday cake?’

I (29f) am employed in an office environment, where I have a coworker named Bea. This colleague consistently mocks individuals who adhere to a vegan lifestyle. As a vegan myself, I maintain a low profile regarding my dietary preferences. During lunch breaks, I join my colleagues at various restaurants and am always able to find suitable options without drawing attention to my food choices.

Bea consistently criticizes my choices in a demeaning way, dismissing them as a temporary fad. She repeatedly tries to tempt me with bites of her cheese and meat-filled lunch, and when I decline, she sarcastically claims it’s vegan, winking as she says it. This immature behavior is irritating, and despite others asking her to stop, she maintains she’s only kidding.

Last week, she brought a cake she had baked herself to the office in honor of her birthday. When she placed a slice in front of me, I gave my thanks, but declined, explaining that I couldn’t eat it. She told me it was a vegan cake, baked with me in mind, but aware of her rather flexible understanding of the term “vegan,” I inquired about the ingredients. She admitted to not checking for milk or eggs in any of them. So, I thanked her once more and turned down the slice. This prompted a dramatic display. She burst into tears, claiming she was only trying to be kind and that I had ruined her birthday.

Some coworkers advised me to disregard her theatrics, but my supervisor mentioned it was her birthday and suggested I could have been more understanding of her cooking. I understand his perspective to some extent, but I also believe I shouldn’t have to explain my dietary preferences to anyone, especially since I never requested her to make the cake vegan for me. Am I the bad guy?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

whatsername235 −  NTA. Sounds like she was waiting for you to eat it so she could go ‘aha!’ and tell you how much you enjoyed it.

LuckStrict6000 −  NTA. An adult woman crying because someone won’t eat her bday cake is sad. Wow.

perhapsnew −  NTA. Bea is bullying you. It’s inappropriate in a working environment. You should file a complaint with HR and describe all the incidents. She made a big scene out of it, she started crying. This is not acceptable. You’ve done nothing wrong. She is acting as if she is a victim. She is not a victim, she is a bully. My boss told me that it was her birthday and i could have given her cooking the benefit of the doubt. Report your boss as well. Nobody should be pressured to eat something they don’t want.

ElectricMoccoson −  “i also feel like i dont need to justify my food choices to anyone”. Ding! Ding! Ding! That’s the correct answer – NTA.

[Reddit User] −  I’ll bet you $50 that cake wasn’t actually vegan. NTA.

Radiant_Cat618 −  NTA – she’s clearly and repeatedly shown that she doesn’t respect your dietary choices. Her cake was probably as vegan as a bacon cheeseburger. You politely refused. Your boss needs to take several seats as it’s completely inappropriate for him to comment on what you eat or don’t eat. He needs to talk to Bea about her bullying and harassing you over food.

AccioWine9 −  NTA, I wouldn’t trust that cake. Also your boss is a j**k. You may want to file a report with HR to have for future reference in case this escalates.

VarnishedTruths −  NTA. Anyone over the age of 8 who thinks their birthday is ruined because someone doesn’t want cake needs to grow up. You weren’t mean to her. You didn’t hurt her. You didn’t yell and swear and damn her to the deepest pit of Hell. Your boss is only going at you because the boss thinks it’s easier to make you bend than to deal with your coworker’s tantrums.

TalulaJen −  NTA. she’s being a drama witch. Also, it really stinks when you accidentally eat dairy after not having eaten dairy for a long time.

Travelwithbex −  NTA given her history I wouldn’t put it past her to say that it is a vegan cake and then be like “surprise it’s got butter and eggs in it, you just ate non vegan food. See how yummy it is” after OP had taken a slice. You don’t need to explain your food decisions to anyone and it sounds like coworker is being over sensitive and dramatic.