Need advice. My fiance (58 m) expects me (54 f)to make him a full course breakfast during the work week. Are there women who work FT who have time to cook a full breakfast for their man before they start work?

The daily grind of shared routines can be particularly challenging in the mornings, especially in bustling homes. Our 24-year-old female narrator recounts a persistent disagreement with her fiancé concerning breakfast preferences. He favors a substantial meal featuring bacon, eggs, potatoes, and bread, while she opts for a simpler, faster option such as yogurt.

Choosing to work a hybrid job full-time means she cherishes getting a little more sleep instead of getting up earlier to make an elaborate breakfast each morning. What began as a minor difference in morning routines has turned into a heated argument, with her fiancé asserting that women all over the country would gladly prepare an extensive breakfast for their husbands.

Torn between what’s been done and what is now, she’s wondering if not giving in to what he wants makes her wrong. Should he, as an adult, expect her to be his weekday cook, or is it okay for her to want time for herself? Let’s look at her situation and see if she’s in the right.

‘ Need advice. My fiance (58 m) expects me (54 f)to make him a full course breakfast during the work week. Are there women who work FT who have time to cook a full breakfast for their man before they start work?’

Expert Opinion

“Establishing healthy routines and clear boundaries in a relationship is crucial, especially when both partners have demanding work schedules,” explains Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert featured in Psychology Today. In this scenario, the OP’s conflict with her fiancé centers around differing expectations for morning routines.

Dr. Orbuch points out that although eating together can improve relationships, it shouldn’t compromise one’s health or free time. She also says that “If someone has to give up sleep or what they like to please their partner, they might need to rethink their limits.”

Dr. Orbuch also points out that current partnerships usually need versatility and division of labor. She says, “A mature person ought to be able to make their own breakfast or come up with another plan, such as getting something quick.” This view implies that the original poster’s wish not to be roused early to make an elaborate breakfast is not just sensible but also fits with today’s standards of fairness in household chores.

She also notes that strictly adhering to conventional gender roles can foster needless animosity and inequality. Dr. Orbuch suggests, “It’s crucial for both individuals to openly express their requirements and collaborate to develop habits that foster shared contentment.”

Furthermore, Dr. Orbuch recognizes that variations in desire for food and personal habits are important. She clarifies that “A large morning meal isn’t for everyone, and making someone stick to a pattern that doesn’t align with their body’s needs can lead to avoidable anxiety.”

The original poster’s inclination towards a simple option such as yogurt is perfectly reasonable. To conclude, her choice to decline the obligation of preparing elaborate breakfasts during workdays is a personal decision and a form of self-care, which deserves acknowledgment in any positive relationship.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit audience largely agrees with OP’s opinion. Numerous commentators contend that a man of his age should be capable of making his own breakfast or figuring something else out, particularly now, not half a century ago. Multiple users have highlighted that expecting one’s partner to act as a private cook smacks of antiquated gender stereotypes, and if he really wants that degree of attention, he should either acquire cooking skills or be prepared to compensate someone for it.

Several commentators felt her fiancé’s requests were presumptuous, some going so far as to say these expectations demonstrated a disregard for her personal time and health. Most agreed the original poster was justified in prioritizing her well-being and sleep over what they saw as an unfair request.

This narrative fundamentally explores the equilibrium between individual desires and the obligations within a relationship. Even though shared duties can enhance a union, they should not compromise the health of either person. The original poster’s stance against being roused early to prepare a complete breakfast demonstrates a contemporary, self-assured decision, questioning traditional gender roles. Even if her fiancé’s response indicates his own inclinations or history, a genuine partnership entails valuing each other’s uniqueness and decisions.

What would you do if you faced similar morning demands from a partner? Share your thoughts, experiences, and advice in the comments below!