Husband M/61 and me F/55 in elevator with two M/30s – hubby tells me I’m flirting because I cracked a joke and made them laugh. Am I the problem?

A woman recounted her annoyance after her spouse charged her with being flirtatious with two younger guys in a lift, simply because she told a joke that elicited laughter. She considers herself a generally affable individual, particularly in light of their established self-run enterprise.

Her spouse, however, feels her actions reflect badly on him and insists she needs to “represent him” in a more positive light. She is now unsure if she is overlooking his vulnerabilities or if his response is fueled by envy. Continue reading for the complete account and let us know what you think.

‘ Husband M/61 and me F/55 in elevator with two M/30s – hubby tells me I’m flirting because I cracked a joke and made them laugh. Am I the problem?’

We were going into a building where we possess a condo. Because we work from this place daily, most people recognize one another. I noticed the two men hurrying toward the elevator and held the door; my husband had already boarded.

I kidded with the initial guy that he didn’t even keep the lift open for his buddy. Following this, the first guy quipped to his friend regarding the sandals he had on (displaying his toes in sub-freezing temperatures). Consequently, the friend asserted he was showing support for Kanye (sporting those unattractive Kanye sandals – at least in my view).

So I exclaimed Yuk! Everyone chuckled, and he responded with “I’m going to concede that to you later,” implying he would let me prevail in that discussion. The entire exchange transpired in under a minute while we were in the elevator. We all exited on the same level, and it turned out one of the individuals was our neighbor.

When we entered our room, my husband immediately told me that the younger guys apparently believed I was coming on to them. I inquired how that was construed as flirting. He replied that it was because I was sharing laughter with them.

I inquired whether his belief in their interpretation stemmed from his own. My question angered him, and he declared that our difficulties would persist until I recognized that I was “representing HIM.” I disagree with the notion that I must alter my friendly nature.

We’ve been a couple for more than two decades, and we’ve been business partners for almost that long. When you’re self-employed, being personable is just part of the job. Is this my fault? Is it flirting to laugh? Am I hurting my husband’s ego? Or am I letting jealousy or insecurity get the best of me? I need advice!

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

lizzyote −  I bet your husband thinks the cashier is flirting with him when she smiles at him lol

A-R-U −  Wow. Talk about being insecure.

BackgroundGate3 −  Crikey, I must be the world’s biggest flirt because I laugh and joke with younger guys all the time. It’s called being sociable and your husband is a d**k.

Wise_woman_1 −  You’ve been married for 20 years. Was his comment out of character? Does he regularly accuse you of flirting/cheating? How often has he told you that you “represent” him? (A really disturbing comment imo unless his stance is that you both represent yourselves and one another).

What does he even mean by saying that “problems will persist?” Chatting or sharing a laugh with another person doesn’t automatically equate to flirting. I know some people who flirt without meaning to, they engage with others and don’t realize they are holding eye contact for too long or physically touching someone while they talk.

Orienting oneself squarely towards another individual, notably in confined settings such as elevators, can be interpreted as flirtatious conduct by those involved and those observing. Determining if this applies to your specific situation would necessitate visual evidence or an unbiased observer.

girlwhaaat −  Don’t let him talk you into believing you did something wrong. You didn’t. And the fact he is avoiding meeting up with other couples out of concern you might be attracted to them as you stated in a comment makes me feel like this is tapping controlling territory.

Don’t allow him to cut you off from others, making you think you can’t even share a laugh with any other guy.

Dry-Crab7998 −  “understand that you are representing him”? Crikey! Insecure much? You are definitely not the problem.

LincolnHawkHauling −  I HATE when people use the word “insecure” with reckless abandon on Reddit…but ma’am, your husband is insecure.

Far-Office7551 −  Would he have thought you were flirting if you behaved in the exact same way with two women? If the answer is no, then the problem here isn’t your behaviour.

panic_bread −  If your husband thinks that women and men can’t laugh together without it being flirting, then he doesn’t think that women and men can be friends, which is sexist nonsense.

CinnamonPumpkin13 −  So if a waitress smiles and asks your husband what she can get for him, does he think she wants to s**k his d**k?