My wife (36F) won’t stop forcing me to drink her coffee… I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I can’t go on like this.

A Reddit user is getting increasingly worried about something strange happening at home: his wife, who was recently laid off, keeps giving him way too much coffee all day long. Even though he has told her many times that he doesn’t like it and that it’s bad for his health, she keeps bringing him coffee and gets upset or silent if he doesn’t drink it.

The user is unsure how to navigate the situation while avoiding upsetting their wife. The complete account of their problem is available below.

‘ My wife (36F) won’t stop forcing me to drink her coffee… I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I can’t go on like this.’

My 36-year-old wife was recently laid off, while I, a 48-year-old male, am currently working remotely. Since I rarely have time for a breather, she’s been thoughtful enough to bring me coffee periodically. It’s just standard coffee, nothing special.

Previously, this occurred infrequently, only once every few hours, leading to a moderate daily consumption of around 2-3 cups. This was manageable. However, the situation has changed in recent weeks. Now, upon arriving at my desk (typically between 8:00 and 8:30), I find a fresh, hot cup of coffee already prepared. Which is nice. And I drink it.

No sooner have I completed a cup, then my wife enters and gifts me another. Every quarter to a third of an hour, she revisits me, bearing yet more coffee. While I appreciate a morning coffee, I don’t need to consume vast quantities all day long. And the cups she provides are certainly not small.

There are certain problems that I’m unsure how to articulate or resolve. If my coffee gets cold, she’ll express her displeasure through her facial expressions and frequently won’t talk to me—occasionally for several hours or even a whole day—until I request additional coffee for her. I must confess that there are instances where I purposely allow my morning coffee to remain untouched, solely to enjoy a few hours of tranquility.

We’ve covered this topic ad nauseam, practically every single day. Each time she arrives bearing coffee, I inform her that I’m satiated and decline further offerings. She frequently responds by wordlessly placing the coffee beside me, and the cycle recommences.

I’ve asked for other drinks (water, coke sometimes) and she will sometimes bring these instead, but as soon as I’ve finished she will bring me another coffee. Now I’m getting regular headaches, nausea, and sometimes I’ll be able to feel my own heartbeat. I don’t think for a second that all this coffee is good for me.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

HatsAndTopcoats −  Somehow through all of this, you have never asked her, “Why do you keep bringing me all this coffee?” Edit: Stop telling me the post says they’ve talked about it. I don’t know what it says about society that so many people apparently think “I want you to stop doing this” is the same as asking her why she is doing this.

stealthyserpent −  It sounds like your wife is looking for a way to be useful after losing her job. I can imagine that must be really hard on her. Perhaps you could try to redirect her efforts into being helpful in another way?

MuddaFrmAnnudaBrudda −  I’m sorry, I’m trying to be sensitive, but how are you married and unable to tell your wife you don’t want anymore coffee?

Duke_mm −  Yeah, she needs a hobby. Ask her to bake a bread. Takes hours and is fun to do.

princessSnarley −  She isn’t trying to kill you by chance?

TheSoundOfKek −  It’s because she lost her job. She wants to pamper you because she doesn’t want you to think she’s *useless* without bringing in the bacon too. I know you love her, but you have to get distracted in your work. Have you guys went out on a date since this pandemic? Consider just driving and cruising around, even?

Do you set aside any time, either following your shift or perhaps even briefly during a break, to engage with her? It seems she’s motivated by a desire to be involved and lighten your burden by assisting with your tasks. I understand it might be irritating, but it’s coming from a place of good intention.

_AIK0_ −  People are having an odd time with their emotions. Maybe gifting is her love language and because, coffee is a simple loving thing she gifts you love constantly. I mean it sounds like a reaction from something way deeper.

im_phoebe −  I don’t know why but I’m laughing at this. I’m sorry.

[Reddit User] −  Is she trying to give you both a heart attack and the worst shits of your life what the f**k