My (27M) fiancée (24F) has ‘accidentally’ lost/broken three engagement rings now… I’m starting to suspect she’s doing it on purpose

A 27-year-old Reddit user is expressing dismay over his 24-year-old fiancée’s repeated loss of engagement rings. She has supposedly “accidentally” misplaced two rings and has now broken a third, which was a family heirloom from his grandmother. The user says that when he attempted to discuss the matter rationally and understand what happened, his fiancée reacted defensively and with anger. He is now wondering if these “accidents” are deliberate and is asking for guidance on how to handle this. The complete story follows.

‘ My (27M) fiancée (24F) has ‘accidentally’ lost/broken three engagement rings now… I’m starting to suspect she’s doing it on purpose’

I (27M) have been in a relationship with my fiancée/girlfriend (24F) for the past three years. I asked her to marry me a year ago, which wasn’t a surprise since she had been dropping obvious hints about wanting to get engaged for several months. Despite the fact that we both have fiery tempers, our relationship is mostly positive, and we usually only argue over minor, everyday issues.

I’m completely unknowledgeable about jewelry, yet I dedicated a significant amount of time searching for the perfect engagement ring. I consulted with two of her dearest friends to gain their insights, and ultimately, I invested approximately $4000 in the ring. Upon seeing it, my fiancée expressed her love for it, and I am quite confident in her sincerity.

This past January, my future wife phoned me, sobbing. She had, in some way, misplaced her ring while traveling from her workplace to our home, and she had no idea of its whereabouts. I departed from my workplace earlier than usual to aid in the search, but given that she had been a passenger on the metro, the ring was irretrievable.

My future wife was obviously upset, so I used some of my savings a few weeks later to purchase a new ring for her. While it wasn’t as costly as the previous one, it was from the same jewellery store and still of good quality.

Around June, I realized one day that my fiancée hadn’t worn her engagement ring in quite some time. She turned white as a sheet and admitted that she believed she had removed it before going to sleep one night and now it was nowhere to be found in our apartment. We spent days looking for it this time, and I even pulled up half of the floorboards, but the ring is still missing now.

Given the current financial constraints, purchasing a new ring was not feasible. Consequently, I inquired whether she preferred a) a temporary, inexpensive ring (costing less than $50) to wear until our wedding, or b) to forgo wearing a ring altogether for the time being. She opted for the latter.

During a visit to my grandmother’s house, she noticed my fiancée wasn’t wearing her ring. Upon learning it had been misplaced, my grandmother generously offered her own ring as a replacement.

My partner seemed happy, and all was going well until recently. I returned home to discover my grandmother’s ring on the table, nearly destroyed. My partner was in tears, explaining that she had accidentally crushed the ring that morning, causing significant damage.

I promptly brought the ring to a jeweler for repairs. Unfortunately, they informed me that due to several missing small stones and the distortion of the original setting, the ring would never truly be the same again. They also expressed their belief that someone merely stepping on the ring was unlikely to have caused this degree of damage.

Upon arriving home, I discussed the matter with my fiancée, inquiring if she was absolutely certain she had merely stepped on the ring. She reacted explosively, accusing me of calling her a liar. When I referenced the jeweler’s assessment, she began shouting, claiming I was solely focused on money and the rings’ monetary value. We have had minimal communication in the past two days, as she has primarily remained in our bedroom, only emerging for meals.

My future wife has misplaced her engagement ring twice and now has damaged a third one. When I attempted to discuss this with her, she became very angry. What is the best way to deal with this situation?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Jen5872 −  Start checking pawn shops for the first two rings.. Edit: Thanks for the award!

Angel777Angel −  Do you think she sold the previous rings??

EarthWormJim18164 −  A jeweler has just told you that damage didn’t happen from it being stepped on. They have no incentive to lie to you. Don’t let her gaslight you

CoronaFunTime −  This is not an accident. I was ***terrified*** of losing my ring when I first got it but that’s not really possible unless you take it off. So, I always put it straight in my pocket. For being on the ground and stepping on it… no. She would have to run it over.

I suspect she’s struggling with an addiction – perhaps gambling, excessive shopping, or even substance abuse – or is heavily in debt, leading her to sell the rings. The damaged ring likely indicates she used pliers to remove the stones, which, along with the other rings, have probably been sold off.

Fatt3stAveng3r −  I wouldn’t give her any more rings, she clearly doesn’t value them.

Crickaboo −  If you really want to give her another ring make it a tattoo instead. Put it on her finger and if she accidentally amputates her finger then don’t get married.

SmallerKitten −  Buy her several copies of a cheap but nice looking ring and when she loses one, you bring her one of the copies and say “Honey, I found your ring” and see if she is shocked or happy about it.

ThatSlothDuke −  Yeah, as you know by know – They probably weren’t accidents. An engagement ring isn’t just any piece of jewelry and it’s value isn’t it’s cost – it’s something that represents the bond you share and the strength of the relationship. And she has “lost” it 3 times. You should look into it more – no matter her reaction.

That kind of reaction from her is also worrisome. It seems she’s trying to keep her engagement a secret. I suggest you get to the bottom of this before you two get married. Best of luck

RebaRocket −  Let her pay for the next one – bet she doesn’t lose/damage THAT one! Edit: …that’s IF you move forward with her. Big IF.

tiniekittie −  She’s lying to you. She’s been selling the rings and will keep asking you for new ones until you stop buying them. If I ever lost the ring my partner got me I’d be absolutely devastated and nothing would be able to replace it, no matter how expensive. She doesn’t care and is using you. The fact she was willing to break her grandmothers ring just so you’d buy her a new one is horrible…

Is this a random occurrence, or is there another explanation for these incidents? What are your opinions on this?