Overheard my [26M] fiancé [24F] tell her friend on the phone that she “settled for being with me,” and that marrying me was her “last resort.”

A man on Reddit was devastated when he accidentally heard his wife confessing to a friend that she only “settled” for him, marrying him because she had no better options. Following some difficult conversations, including a confrontation where she dismissed her comment as a “joke,” he resolved to divorce her. The situation deteriorated, leading to her becoming aggressive and moving out. He now intends to annul the marriage and has been asking for guidance on how to deal with the fallout. The complete story is available below.

‘ Overheard my [26M] fiancé [24F] tell her friend on the phone that she “settled for being with me,” and that marrying me was her “last resort.”’

Update 2: I just completed one of the most challenging tasks I’ve ever faced. This morning, following our meal, I suggested that we needed to “have a serious conversation.” She seemed reluctant, but I insisted on its importance. We went to the living room, and she told me, “I’m already aware of what you’re going to say.”

My piece evidently gained enough traction to be featured, so naturally, she stumbled upon it while browsing the “popular” section. Predictably, tears began to flow almost immediately. I explained that her words had wounded me profoundly, a fact she was undoubtedly aware of, having read my account.

Through sobs, she insisted she was only teasing and hadn’t been genuine. She continued, repeating “I adore you, I adore you.” I explained that I couldn’t remain in a marriage where my partner’s affection didn’t mirror my own. She attempted to persuade me of her love and the significance I held for her, but it was all lies.

She expressed her desire to maintain our relationship. I responded by stating that I believed our marriage was a mistake. Following that, I essentially ended the relationship. I communicated my awareness of her true feelings towards me, emphasizing the wrongfulness of her emotional manipulation.

For anyone curious, we don’t have children. I’m the sole provider for our apartment and own nearly all of our possessions, excluding her clothing. I even cover her car expenses. Consequently, she’ll be left with very little after everything is settled. We decided to sign a prenuptial agreement before getting married, a decision I’ve never regretted more.

Following an uncomfortable pause, she cursed at me. Raising her voice, she accused me of being unable to simply break up with her in that manner. I asserted my right to do as I pleased, which triggered her anger. She yelled, declaring that I was the absolute worst partner she had ever had.

“Do you honestly believe I’m irreplaceable?” she challenged. “Can you seriously imagine moving on from someone who treated you as well as I did? You’re a complete moron, [my name].” Gathering her belongings, she announced her departure, punctuating it with a forceful slam of the door. The scene felt staged, like a cliché ripped straight from a television show.

I took a seat on the sofa and began to weep, and the tears haven’t stopped even as I write this. They are a mix of joy and sorrow, and I was always aware that it was inevitable she would betray or abandon me. It was clear she never had any affection for me. Our connection was entirely one-sided, and I feel like a total fool for being blind to it for so long. I reside in California, and I intend to initiate the annulment of our marriage.

I plan to pack all her possessions into garbage bags tomorrow, as that’s where they may as well go. (I’m not discarding her items; I’m simply using the trash bags to return her property.) I sincerely appreciate everyone’s thoughtful comments and excellent guidance. You all inspired me to advocate for myself, and I’m confident that my life will undoubtedly get better.

Edit/Update: I appreciate all the supportive comments! They’ve genuinely lifted my spirits. I’ll be speaking with her shortly. Additionally, I’ve seen some people suspecting this post isn’t genuine, and while I can see why it might seem that way, it’s not. We’ve been engaged for more than eighteen months, and we actually got married just three months ago.

I’m still getting accustomed to referring to her as my “wife.” I also posted this from an old alternate account because she uses Reddit. Anyway, thanks for all the advice, everyone. It’s astounding how much people on the Internet can care about someone they’ve never even met. I plan to speak with her today and will provide updates afterward.

Edit: I intended to include “wife” in the title, but I’m unable to modify it now. As the title suggests, I accidentally heard my wife speaking on the phone with a close friend while walking past the bedroom. This friend is currently in a committed relationship. My wife then told her, “Honey, remember the decision is yours. Don’t accept less than you deserve. That’s the error I committed.”

The thought of who else she might have been with haunts me. I was supposedly her final option, and considering the outcome, hearing her say that truly shattered my heart. Does she even care for me? Why am I being made to feel like a backup plan? Am I being too sensitive and exaggerating the situation? I have not brought it up since she said that. I am genuinely unsure of how to proceed, because what she expressed has deeply disturbed me.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

jeremy_jm −  Be your first choice

wildlymedioxre −  F**king brutal. I am so sorry to hear that. You should really talk to her about it. You should never be somebody’s “last resort” if that’s how she really feels maybe that relationship isn’t working

Bleafer −  I’m really confused by why she would say you were her last resort when she’s only 24.. did she have a deadline to meet or something?

ChayHawk −  Damn man that’s f**king stone cold. Someone who loved and respected you wouldn’t say that man, I would tell her you heard her and are done, but that’s me, I couldn’t continue being with someone who was only with me because they wanted stability and didn’t care about me.

thebispymyguy −  You should probably confront her about it, but be civil. It will alsways bother you if you just leave it. Also, keep your own happiness in mind. Will staying with her make you happy in the long run, even if you know she isn’t?

ketita −  I think you should talk to her about it. You deserve much better than being someone’s “last resort”. Have there been other signs in your relationship that she’s not fully behind it? Do you feel like she’s ‘putting up with you’?

Is there a reason why she singled you out for this unpleasant task? I am very sorry. This is a terrible situation. A question – are you married or engaged? It is easier to end an engagement than a marriage.

IainKay −  I know it’s going to be hard but you now need to be strong and tell her she can find someone else to love her.. You don’t deserve this.

Daedolis −  Is she your fiance, or your wife? If the former, I’d say you need a serious talk. If the latter, I really hope you guys signed prenups, and you met a serious talk.

CBJKevin91581 −  So an under 24 year old woman had to settle for OP as a last resort? Doesn’t make sense to me. 99% of Redditors would tell her she’s still really young with plenty of time to find someone. This post is most likely….well, you know…

Ze_Pig777 −  You do what you must but if i personally heard that i would call the whole thing off.

Have you ever gone through something that revealed a relationship was different than you believed? What was your strategy for moving forward? Write about it down below!