AITA for taking back my expensive gift after my brother ‘re-gifted’ it to his girlfriend?

The giver bought his brother an expensive Tissot PRX for his birthday. Later, he found out his brother had given it to his girlfriend because she was more fond of it. Annoyed, the giver requested the watch back, stating he would rather keep it or return it if his brother didn’t appreciate it.

His actions ignited familial discord, as his brother labeled him as small-minded for reclaiming a present. Despite his decision to allow them to retain the timepiece to prevent additional strife, he feels wounded and intends to offer less significant presents going forward.

‘ AITA for taking back my expensive gift after my brother ‘re-gifted’ it to his girlfriend?’

For my brother’s special day, I splurged on a costly timepiece he had been eyeing for several months. It was a Tissot PRX with a blue face, costing around $725. Saving the money took some time, and I was eager to present it to him as a surprise.

He appeared pleased upon receiving it, but several weeks later, I observed that he no longer had it on. When I inquired about its whereabouts, he sheepishly confessed that he had given the timepiece to his significant other because she supposedly ‘preferred it.’ It would be acceptable if she occasionally wore it, but outright regifting it bothered me.

I felt truly stunned and wounded. That present was something I carefully considered and it cost a pretty penny. Consequently, I requested its return, explaining that if he had no desire for it, I’d prefer to take it back to the store or hold onto it. He became infuriated, arguing that it was impolite to reclaim a present and that his significant other should have the opportunity to use it.

Now that my relatives are aware, my brother is accusing me of being childish for wanting the present returned. Am I the unreasonable one for preventing him from giving my gift to someone else? Edit: Okay, I’ve come to the conclusion that my brother (or perhaps his girlfriend) can keep the watch.

It still bothers me how things played out, as it seems he didn’t value my present. However, I don’t want to cause further family conflict because of it. I’ll just let it go, though it does still hurt a bit. Next time, he’s getting a McDonald’s gift card for $25. Thanks for all the advice.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Vegetable_Luck692 −  Use this as a life lesson. I used to buy really thoughtful and expensive gifts that no one appreciated. The final straw was when I bought tickets for my in-laws to see a play, tickets were expensive. I asked them what weekend would be best for them and they chose the date.

Shortly after the play, I inquired whether they had a good time at the performance. They told me that they chose to visit the cabin instead. $500, wasted time and effort. It was at that moment that I decided I was done. I no longer purchased costly presents for anybody.

Once you present someone with a gift, it legally ceases to be your property. Is it a painful experience? Indeed. Will you come to the realization that the majority of individuals do not value your considerate actions? One would hope so. My recommendation is to establish a spending limit for your brother, perhaps a maximum of $50. If he desires a $700 timepiece, he should accumulate the necessary funds himself.

DrTeethPhD −  YTA. But your brother just earned himself a spot on the “$25 McDonald’s gift card” list.

SoMoistlyMoist −  I love my siblings dearly but there is no f**king way I would spend 750 bucks on a gift for either one of them. Just mark this down as a life lesson learned

Adorable-Puppers −  Yeah, it totally was a j**k move on his part IMO. But once you give a gift, it belongs to the recipient. There’s nothing you can really do or say about someone else’s personal property. I’m really sorry this happened. 😔

Fancy-Repair-2893 −  It’s not petty to be hurt, learn the lesson and don’t buy him anything expensive. It’s all not right he talked about for months then gives it away. You saved for months. You’re both kinda wrong but I would have probably done the same thing in your position.

He’s angrier that his girlfriend is unhappy. He could purchase the watch himself and give it to her, or your parents could, placing the responsibility back on them.

SmeeegHeead −  M**herfucker gets a card from now on and that’s it.. Nta. Although watch was his, giving it away is disgusting.. Updateme!

Ran0614 −  ESH, but your bro is suckier. He can re-gift it, sure, it is his after you gifted it to him. It does make him an a**hole though. He doesn’t get to call you petty for calling him out about giving it away because what he did was be dismissive of the value of the watch and the effort you spent to obtain it.

You’re being a bit of a jerk by requesting the return of a gift you willingly gave. However, you’re entitled to be unhappy and switch to giving him $10 gift cards in the future.

butty_a −  NTA. You mention “taking” it back in the title, but only state you have so far only asked. If it was his wife, I would still be annoyed, but at least they are (usually) more stable where as girlfriends come and go.

You don’t have a legal basis to reclaim the gift; however, you’re not wrong for wanting it back, just as you wouldn’t be wrong if you asked him to recover it. If he gives it back, you’re still not the AH, but taking it yourself would make you the AH.

Maybe elaborate on the lengths you went to in order to purchase the gift, highlighting your affection for him. Moving forward, it’s best to avoid gifting items that you’re not okay with being potentially unused, as the recipient’s appreciation might not mirror the giver’s.

Freeverse711 −  NTA honestly, that’s fucked up. The gift wasn’t for his wife it was for your brother, and while technically once given it’s for your brother to do as he pleases, but that being said, that was a very expensive gift and was supposed to be something meaningful between brothers. I’d probably be just as upset.

stjimmycat −  ESH. He shouldn’t immediately give away a gift you just gave him and you shouldn’t ask for the gift back. But you should make sure it’s the last valuable gift you ever give him.

Was his request for the gift’s return reasonable, or was his reaction excessive? Share your thoughts in the comments!