AITAH? I made my fiancé storm out of the house because he said my job is easy ?

A 26-year-old woman feels undervalued at her part-time cleaning job and is annoyed with her fiancé, Kenny, who belittles her work, calling it simple. When she asks him to pitch in with household tasks, he responds with a painful comparison to his mother, prompting her to tell him she wants time apart, which causes him to leave in anger.

They have not communicated since that time. The original narrative is available for your perusal below.

‘ AITAH? I made my fiancé storm out of the house because he said my job is easy ?’

I’m a 26-year-old female working as a part-time housekeeper while attending night school to complete my degree. My fiancé, Kenny, is a 29-year-old male who works as a mechanic. The issue between us began fairly recently. I’ve been requesting Kenny to contribute more to the household tasks.

He always justifies his actions by saying he’s occupied or exhausted from working with vehicles all day. I understand his occupation requires physical strength, but so does mine. I spend my days cleaning homes and my evenings attending classes. With only one year remaining until graduation, we’ve recently been contemplating marriage.

I’m putting in a lot of effort for it. Kenny doesn’t believe my work is particularly challenging. He consistently labels me as feeble and unmotivated, claiming that I whine about tidying up homes. We’ve argued about this numerous times, but we’ve always managed to find a resolution.

I asked him this week to tidy up the kitchen, mentioning my heavy workload and upcoming exams. He declined, asserting that he works longer hours than me and that, as a housekeeper, it should be my responsibility.

He then tried to justify his reply by telling me that if our car broke down he would fix it because he is a mechanic, so since I am a housekeeper I should do it.
I tried many ways to explain how physically demanding my job is.

Lots of folks believe that housekeepers, cleaners, or organizers don’t contribute anything to society, but that’s simply untrue. We transform a house into a home. And it requires significant time, sometimes many hours, to accomplish this. It’s both physically and emotionally exhausting, not to mention how ungrateful some individuals can be.

The argument simply intensified. What finally drove me to the edge was his remark: “I don’t understand your issue. My mother raised seven children and maintained an immaculate home. You, however, are offering justifications. Your work isn’t exactly challenging; you’re merely cleaning houses.”

If you’re able to do that in other locations, why not apply it here? I advised him that I required distance, and he abruptly departed. Since then, we haven’t communicated. Did I overreact?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Ok_Examination3023 −  NTA. If you had broken bicycles at home every single day then his argument would make more sense. House chores are something that needs to be done all the time. It’s a humongous amount of invisible unappreciated work.

It’s baffling why this expectation falls predominantly on women. Despite being an IT professional, I find myself handling the bulk of household tasks, leading to disputes. Your significant other is unappreciative and passive. Don’t back down.

jackieblueideas −  You realize that, if you finish your studies, get a new job, and marry him, it means you’ll be working a job and cleaning the house without help forever?

judgejoebrown77 −  NTA, tell your husband i called him weak and lazy. I work in mechatronics, aka turn wrenches but on automation lines. Even after my 12 to 16 hr work days i still try to help around the house and spend time with the kiddo.

I reside in the house my wife and I consider our home, and we are both employed. The specifics of our jobs are irrelevant. The key point is that he lives there and should contribute as well.

frolicndetour −  NTA. If your job is so undemanding he should be able to clean the whole house in his off time without breaking a sweat. It’s concerning that your fiance is a disrespectful turd who doesn’t do his share. If you have kids with him someday, count on doing all the work yourself.

yellowbrownstone −  Run. Honey just f**king run. He’s disrespectful and mean if asking for help makes him call you names like lazy and weak. This behavior will intensify if you get married. Guys like this don’t get better, they get worse.

BeKindImNewButtercup −  NTA. My husband owns an auto repair shop and is crazy busy but even when he was solely working on cars, he always helped with our home and children. Do not marry or have children with this man until he completely changes his mindset!

Dizzy_Eye5257 −  Don’t marry someone who insults you, demeans you, or belittles you.

[Reddit User] −  My dad’s aunt was a housekeeper and a cleaner and no, it is NOT an easy job. You have to deep clean everything which includes removing furniture and cleaning under them. You have to wipe the surfaces with different cleaning solutions.

I’ve watched numerous TikTok videos where housekeepers describe spending hours cleaning a single home. Some residences are also extremely filthy, with dirt that has accumulated over several months. Furthermore, having good organizing skills is beneficial since being organized simplifies daily life.

Proper organization is linked to improved mental well-being, suggesting that these roles are not simple. To believe otherwise would simply make him an insensitive person.

SledgeHannah30 −  He’s icky. Should you choose to get married and procreate, he’s going to push all child duties on you.. Absolutely leave his ass.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Do not marry this man. Based on what he said about his mom he’s never going to help in the home and most likely with the children. You need to find man who considers you as a partner, not as a housekeeper and eventually a nanny.

Was her response reasonable, or was it an excessive reaction? Could she have managed the circumstance in another way? I’m interested to hear your opinions on this.