AITAH for just saying “ok” to my little bros declining of my destination wedding?

A man arranging his wedding in Jamaica faces disapproval from his thrifty brother, Jake, for selecting a costly and distant locale. After Jake rejects the invitation, the man replies with a curt “ok” and refrains from persuading him or providing monetary assistance, as he favors an intimate ceremony.

Jake’s spouse finds fault with the groom for failing to involve his brother more, but the groom believes the venue is significant and focuses on his and his future wife’s desires. Read the original story below…

‘ AITAH for just saying “ok” to my little bros declining of my destination wedding?’

I’m in the midst of organizing my wedding. My soon-to-be wife’s family hails from Jamaica, and since she still has relatives there, we’ve decided to hold the ceremony on the island. It will take place at an all-inclusive resort, which I’m looking forward to, though I understand it might not be within everyone’s budget. We’ve extended invitations to approximately 40 guests from our home country, and the majority have already confirmed their attendance.

My younger brother, whom I’ll refer to as Jake, earns a good salary, but he’s quite thrifty. He believes it’s absurd that we’re having the wedding there, considering we both live here. I concede that it’s partially due to her family’s preference and partially because it seems like a blast. I understand that not everyone will have the financial means to attend, and I’m perfectly fine with those who can’t make the journey or don’t want to spend the money.

I actually prefer a more intimate wedding. Yesterday, Jake informed me that he won’t be attending, citing the cost of airfare, accommodation, and related expenses as his reason. I acknowledged his explanation with a simple “ok.” He then questioned my reaction, asking if I was unconcerned about his absence and if I would reconsider having the wedding closer to home.

And I simply agreed, offering to send pictures. I considered the matter closed, but now his wife, who is also my sister-in-law, is pressuring me, claiming I should have persuaded him or contributed financially. While I could technically afford it, having a large number of attendees isn’t a significant concern for me.

To address a frequent inquiry, my future wife is American, with approximately 80% of her relatives residing in the US. Her grandmother still resides in Jamaica, along with additional distant relatives. Our decision to visit Jamaica isn’t based on its proximity to a larger number of family members; we simply adore the island.

She cherishes her ancestry, and we make an effort to visit several times annually since we adore the location. It’s the perfect spot for us to have our wedding.

See what others had to share with OP:

Electronic_Fox_6383 −  Omg, haha, he was totally hoping you’d foot the bill for his trip. Just send pics as promised and don’t give it another thought. Have a great time in Jamaica! Congratulations!. NTA

Frosty_Reward_5301 −  NTA you invited. He doesn’t want to spend the money. It’s not your obligation to pay for his trip. Your not upset he won’t come. You have done nothing wrong. You where very nice in how you handled it. He does not get to pressure you into having a wedding where he wants. It’s not his day. And honestly the wedding will go on with him. Or without him.

UniverseBear −  NTA, I mean ask him if he’d rather her Jamaican family who likely makes a fraction of what he makes should be the ones paying to fly to where you guys live.

jojozabadu −  my SIL is on my case about its saying I should have tried to convince him or helped pay for it. Your bro and SIL sound made for each other. She’s not only cheap but feels e**itled to your money.

Double-Economist7562 −  NTA – You do what makes you happy, it is your wedding. You handled it great by not demanding that they be there and giving them the option to attend

Agoraphobe961 −  NTA. It sounds like your SIL is trying to b**ly you into paying for them. Your “frugal” brother would be fine with a destination wedding if he didn’t have to pay.

Spectre-907 −  Why does every wedding type story on here feature people who ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED trying to dictate specifics of the ceremony to the ones who are?

SockMaster9273 −  NTA . If we wanted to be there, he would have said, “I’ll be there” or “I’m sorry i can’t make it. I’m having trouble with it financially”. He is clearly trying to guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do.

The behavior of your sister-in-law is puzzling. If she’s interested in attending, why doesn’t she make an effort to persuade her husband? This isn’t your responsibility. Among everyone involved, you are the least blameworthy. I wish you a beautiful wedding day and a lifetime of happiness together.

colmcmittens −  NTA. He’s being a m**ipulative d**che who is trying to guilt you into changing your wedding venue b/c he’s too much of a cheap ass to pay for the flight or hotel.

bubble_tea_and_sushi −  NTA. It’s your brother’s choice to attend your wedding or not. No one is forcing him either way. His wife is a cow for getting on your case about it – I bet she wants to go to your destination wedding and wants you to help them cover the cost. F**k that.

Was the groom not showing enough enthusiasm, or is he justified in insisting on the wedding he’s always envisioned? Let us know what you think!