AITA for asking my parents to start paying rent if they want to keep living with me?

A 19-year-old on Reddit recounts the challenges of inheriting her grandmother’s house, where her parents relocated after facing money problems. While she was initially happy to help, she now believes her parents are taking advantage of the situation, settling in too much and redecorating without asking.

Although she tried to bring up the subject of monetary help, her parents reacted with annoyance, maintaining that relatives shouldn’t demand payment from each other. Caught between affection for her parents and the desire to manage her own household independently, she wonders if she’s unjustified in expecting them to contribute to the rent. The complete narrative is available below.

‘ AITA for asking my parents to start paying rent if they want to keep living with me?’

I’m a 19-year-old female in a somewhat strange predicament. I recently became the owner of my deceased grandmother’s house. It’s not a luxurious estate, but rather a pleasant residence in a respectable area. The issue is this: my parents, who are in their fifties, moved in with me soon after, claiming it was only for a short period because they were having monetary difficulties due to some poor investments.

Initially, it didn’t bother me. After all, they are my parents. However, it’s been more than half a year, and they appear quite settled in—perhaps too much so. They don’t appear to be searching for employment or alternative housing. I’ve been covering all utility bills, food costs, and upkeep expenses with my personal funds, which I accumulated through part-time work and a modest inheritance.

They continually make subtle remarks about the house being “their home as well”, pointing out that I owe its existence to them and my grandmother. They even went as far as to remodel a section of the house without consulting me first! When I attempted to address this, proposing they assist with expenses, perhaps through rent or utility payments, they became angry.

My mother insisted that as family, financial transactions are inappropriate. My father echoed this, labeling my request for contribution as selfish considering their financial difficulties. However, I too am facing challenges managing work and studies, and they don’t appear to be actively seeking independent living or lessening our shared expenses.

Although I care for them, I have the impression that they are exploiting the circumstances. I am hesitant to remove my parents, but this is my property, and I believe I am no longer in charge of it. Would I be wrong to ask my parents to pay rent if they want to continue living here?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

PremiumTVforDogs −  They are taking advantage of you. They will bleed you dry if you let them. NTA.

gordonf23 −  NTA. I think it’s reasonable to let them live there for a certain amount of time, and then start charging them rent, for the food they’re eating, for the utilities they use, etc. Yes, they raised you and let you live there for free. But that’s what parents do. That’s a responsibility they signed up for when they decided to have a child.

From the moment you were born, they OWED that to you. You didn’t sign up for this. They did. You’re all adults now. Presumably of working age and able-bodied, implied by your post. And with very few exceptions, adults don’t just get to live and sleep and eat and watch tv and and use the internet for free without contributing financially.

It’s very nice of you to allow them to live there for free. And, sure, there’s some moral obligation here to help them while they’re in a tough spot. But not permanently. And not if they’re not doing anything to lift themselves back to self-sufficiency. There’s also an opportunity cost for you.

You might consider renting out rooms in your home to tenants, which could significantly offset costs. However, their living there complicates this option. Therefore, their failure to contribute proportionally to household expenses is essentially costing you that potential income.

I would simply inform them: “I’m truly glad to have you with me, and I’ve been happy to support you without charge because we’re family. However, I can no longer manage the costs for three people. Starting in February, I’ll need to begin charging you rent. I believe nine months is a sufficient amount of time for you to secure employment, regain financial stability, and find your own residence.”

That_Ad_5392 −  NTA. You inherited and it’s your house. On top of that you’re paying the bills it’s not fair to you since your still young and figuring things out if that makes sense. Esp if you’re struggling. They should at least make effort to find a job

Serpent67 −  No, they were struggling. They now live for free with no bills. They passed their struggling on to you. Tell them what I just said and to stop the bull s**t.

DisgruntleFairy −  NTA – I think given the situation and finances it’s reasonable to ask a for some form of rent. Maybe get them to sign a lease too. It doesn’t have to be a huge amount, just enough to lighten your financial struggles.

Paganduck −  NTA Tell them you are struggling and need to use their room for paying tenants.

Stranger0nReddit −  They keep making these small comments about how it’s “their home too” since I wouldn’t have the house without them and my grandmother.
lol that is NOT how it works. If Grandma wanted it to be their house too she wouldn’t have left it to JUST you.

Beyond this, them calling YOU s**fish for trying to get them to contribute financially is ridiculous. THEY are being s**fish by expecting their 19 year old kid to pay their way. They are still relatively young and able bodied, there is zero reason for them to expect to rely on you to cover them financially for the foreseeable future. You are just starting your adult life, it’s not right for you to be bound to paying their way.

As difficult as it may be since they are your parents, their disrespect warrants action beyond simply not wanting to remove them. Consult an attorney to draft a lease for them to sign. Should they refuse, research the eviction regulations in your area. Expect attempts to make you feel bad or control your decisions, but stay strong.

wta1999 −  F**e

MarathonRabbit69 −  NTA and you might need a lawyer

ciderandcake −  Lol ChatGPT trash

Is the user on Reddit reasonable in expecting monetary assistance from her parents, or is she placing an undue burden on her family, who are already facing financial difficulties? How would you navigate a comparable scenario involving intricate family relationships and financial matters? Give us your perspective in the comments!