AITAH for being upset that I found out my wife was pregnant via social media?

A 29-year-old man was injured when he found out his wife was expecting via a friend’s Instagram post, rather than hearing it from her personally. His wife, who was with relatives at the time, said she planned to surprise him, but she had already told several friends and family members.

A friend’s early online announcement created confusion. Although excited to be a father, he is emotionally exhausted and torn because of this situation. Read the original story below…

‘ AITAH for being upset that I found out my wife was pregnant via social media?’

The article has the next update at the end.

I’m 29, and she’s 27. We’ve been a couple for 4 years and married for 2. We both come from the same hometown, but we’re now living in another city. She’s visiting our hometown for a family occasion, but I stayed behind because of work. We’ve been attempting to conceive for 3 months, and now it has occurred.

The difficulty arises from how I learned about it. A friend extended congratulations by sharing a screenshot in our group chat—specifically, a screenshot of an Instagram story from a friend of my wife. The post featured my wife in tears, embracing several friends, accompanied by the words, “You’ll be an amazing mother.”

I phoned her without delay, and she picked up almost immediately, announcing, “Sweetheart, I have some news.” I simply responded, “I’m aware, you’re expecting.” She exclaimed, “Honey, how did you find out?” I just said, “I saw it on Instagram. You didn’t consider telling me yourself first?” She countered, “What? I haven’t posted anything.” I replied, “No, but your acquaintances have.”

That was certainly a way to discover I was about to become a father, so I said “thanks” and ended the call. I was livid. She persisted in calling, but I ignored her calls until my sister rang me soon after. My sister inquired about what was happening since she had just gotten to my in-laws’ place and everyone was in a state of chaos, arguing.

and my wife was in her room, unable to leave. When I informed her of the situation, she expressed disbelief, saying it was out of character. I confirmed that it had indeed occurred. My sister then declared her intention to investigate, and she subsequently contacted me to provide an explanation.

Once I had composed myself, I dismissed it as a careless act by a friend posting without asking. However, my sister provided more context: my wife’s menstrual cycle was delayed, and while spending time with a friend, they entertained the idea of a possible pregnancy.

They purchased numerous pregnancy tests, each confirming the pregnancy. Panic ensued, they informed her parents, and then messaged local friends to gather at their place. A mere two hours elapsed from the moment she discovered the news to when her friend shared it on Instagram. My spouse divulged the information to a minimum of ten individuals prior to informing me.

My sister informed me that upon her arrival, the ongoing dispute stemmed from their mutual friends’ displeasure with the Instagram poster. The group apparently found her actions reprehensible and directed their anger towards her. Furthermore, they expressed bewilderment as to why my wife had delayed informing me.

I eventually spoke with my wife, who was in tears. She expressed regret, explaining that she had intended to reveal the news as a surprise, which was why she had been keeping it from me. I remained unconvinced, remarking that her eagerness to share the information immediately upon my call seemed to contradict her claim of wanting to surprise me.

She didn’t say anything, and I let her know I required some time for contemplation. She raised her voice, insisting that I couldn’t simply abandon the situation and that a discussion was necessary. I responded with, “Why is a conversation necessary? Is it just so you can continue to be dishonest?” and then I disconnected the call. I’ve received a multitude of messages, but in all honesty, I’m completely drained.

This has completely exhausted me for some reason. I’ve been crying unexpectedly, which is out of character because I rarely cry. This shouldn’t be a big deal, but it feels like I’ve been run over. My sister sent me a message that resonated with me: “I know this is awful, and she shouldn’t have done that, but don’t let it spoil things for you.”

You’re about to become a father. You’ll be a fantastic one. This is wonderful. Right now, the sole thing sustaining me is the realization that I’m going to be a father. This is something I’ve always wanted, and my only wish is for a healthy child.

I’ll likely put aside my ego and act like everything’s okay so my wife doesn’t get too worked up while she’s pregnant. But that’s a problem for future me. For now, I’m wallowing in my feelings.

Update here: https://aita.pics/RdZbC

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

vitorramosleak −  That’s some s**tty behavior indeed from that one friend. Who the hell steals a pregnancy announcement lmao.

joaovitorsb95 −  Damn, that actually sucks. Only way I would be on your wife side here is if she was planning on doing some kind of surprise to get your reaction, but you catching her on a lie pretty much ends that possibility. All I can say is that I hope you baby is healthy and good luck with fatherhood.

Empty_Mastodon7165 −  Too much social media.

Last-Ad5452 −  NTA and my thing is…she was so excited she told everything….but you. Called her parents and random ass friends…but not you. Her husband, partner and life and father. I would be hurt and also it would make me question things. You should have been one of her first thoughts. Not last.

Amamboking2 −  So i got 4 kids. There is a reason you wait till 12 weeks.

Away-Understanding34 −  Your wife and her friends are s**tty. Also why should you have to hide your hurt feelings when she’s the one that fucked up and hurt you? Just because she’s pregnant doesn’t mean you have to push down your feelings.

She deprived both of you of a potentially wonderful experience, choosing to share it with many others. Your feelings of frustration are justified. Will she also want someone else present during the delivery instead of you? Her behavior demonstrates a lack of consideration, and I hope she matures before the baby’s arrival.

Recent-Necessary-362 −  NTA but she’s not even seen a doctor and people are already using “because she’s pregnant”. Pregnancy is not an excuse to be a s**tty person. What she did was totally dismiss you, as a father and as her husband and partner in this journey. You two definitely need some counseling before the baby gets here.

Goidelica −  You are NTA. That is unbelievably s**tty. Edit: For some reason, this one really gets to me. If that happened to me, I wouldn’t trust her anymore. The combination of everything, her first instinct being to lie to you, I don’t think I could be with her anymore. I think this is a f**king huge red flag.

Educational_Gas_92 −  NTA But congratulations on your baby, I hope it will be a healthy little baby.

illdrinn −  Women taking pregnancy tests together is not crazy abnormal. Saying something on social media about someone else’s pregnancy before they’ve announced it is s**tty friend behavior.

Should he suppress his anger for the benefit of their connection and impending child, or is his response understandable? What actions might they consider to restore faith and dialogue in the future? What are your opinions? Please share them in the comments!