AITAH for not including my future stepkids in my will?

A man on Reddit is having issues with his future wife because he chose not to include her two children in his will, instead giving everything to his own grown children. Although he loves and values his connection with her children, he believes it would be unjust to split his assets between the children he has nurtured throughout his life and those he has only known for a short period.

His fiancée, however, thinks that marrying her means he should completely accept her children as his own family. Continue reading to determine if you believe he is wrong for sticking to his choice.

‘ AITAH for not including my future stepkids in my will?’

I (45M) am planning to marry my fiancee (39F), who has two children (13M and 11F) from a prior relationship. Our relationship has lasted three years, and I am very fond of her children, with whom I have a good rapport. However, to be completely honest, I have two grown children from my first marriage, and they take precedence in my life.

My fiancee suggested the other evening that I revise my will to formally add her children as beneficiaries. She expressed that it was very important to her that her children have “a sense of familial belonging” equivalent to that of my children. I responded that, while I do care for her children, I have no intention of including them in my will.

It’s always been my intention to ensure that my children, whom I’ve nurtured and supported throughout their lives, are the beneficiaries of my hard work. I’ve only been acquainted with her children for a short period, and I believe it would be unjust to share my assets with children I haven’t raised and only recently encountered.

This discussion escalated into a dispute, and she claimed I was demeaning her children and not fully committed to our family. She believes that marriage should equate to treating her children as if they were my own. However, I don’t think marriage should instantly divide my entire wealth among four people.

I communicated to her that this matter is not open to discussion. Although I have affection for her and her children, I am not at ease with the idea of including them in my last will and testament. She has hardly spoken to me since then, which now makes me question whether I am being excessively inflexible regarding this decision. Am I the bad guy?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

redditlurker1981 −  Does her estate include your kids??

Gohighsweetcherry −  The kids ‘will feel like part of the family’ what? When you’re dead and the will is read out?? Are they going to jump for joy with happiness that you’re all family now you’re dead?

What possible connection could your legal document have with those individuals? It shouldn’t matter to them at all, except for her avarice. Please, do not commit to her in marriage. Cease all discussion about the will, and most certainly, do not list her as a beneficiary. You are not the bad guy.

notAugustbutordinary −  Time to start looking at a pre nup. She has shown her intentions early.

parodytx −  You need a pre-nup. As in NOW. I’d be VERY worried if a potential spouse starts pressuring to change your estate plans BEFORE YOU ARE EVEN MARRIED YET!

The emotional blackmail and coercive manipulation highlight underlying problems that, fortunately, have surfaced before you tied the knot – perhaps you should re-evaluate things.

Sensitive-Ask-9368 −  Not even dead yet and she is already splitting his estate. Huge Red Flag. Seems very interested in what “her” kids get from a man who is not their parent. I would pump the brakes on this union. PRENUP is a very good idea.

BlueGreen_1956 −  NTA – She is waving a red flag in your face. Don’t ignore it. Her idea of you caring is tied to her sucking money from you. She has shown you where her priorities lie. I would advise you to kick her to the curb but if you insist on marrying her GET A PRENUP! Make is as ironclad as possible.

CamaroDev −  I bet she fully expects you to pay for both of their ways through college too.. where is Their father??

holybucketsitscrazy −  My partner and I have been together more than 20 years. His will is split 3 ways – between his 2 kids and myself. My will is split 2 ways – half to him and half to my son.

Neither of us anticipates bequeathing our estates to our stepchildren. To be honest, you have the sole discretion to allocate your assets as you see fit. Not the A-hole.

Creative_Struggle_69 −  If she’s so insistent on this, are you sure you wanna marry her? You are NTA, and I personally find her idea sketchy.

yesimreadytorumble −  your children are gonna get screwed over in case you divorce or die before this woman.

Is the Redditor’s position justified, or is he failing to grasp the full implications of accepting his fiancée’s children as his own? What approach would you take to estate planning in a blended family situation? Share your opinions in the comments!