AITA for “shaming” my sister to my parents because she and her friends broke the hot tub because she didn’t bother to fill it up after the got out?
A Reddit user recounts a strained familial dynamic where they, a 17-year-old, have a history of conflict with their 21-year-old sister. During their parents’ absence, the sister threw a party, where she and her friends, all of considerable size, caused the hot tub to overflow and neglected to replenish the water.
Ignoring the cautions, the sibling disregarded the guidance. Upon the father’s arrival, he discovered the damaged jacuzzi and was incensed, particularly as he depended on it to alleviate his pain. The sister misrepresented the circumstances, which caused a dispute. The Redditor told their father what really happened, which created strain within the family.
Now the sibling is accusing them of causing her embarrassment, and the Redditor is unsure if they acted inappropriately. Read the original account below…
‘ AITA for “shaming” my sister to my parents because she and her friends broke the hot tub because she didn’t bother to fill it up after the got out?’
I’m seventeen, and my sister is twenty-one. We’ve always detested each other (and I truly mean hate; I can’t remember ever having a good thought about her). She’s back home for the summer and is constantly irritating me. My parents were away this week, and she threw a party for all her friends.
It’s not intended as an insult, but my sister and her friends are undeniably overweight. My sister might be considered curvy, but the others are just large. They all crowded into the hot tub, and even though it would have been overcrowded regardless, their size caused a significant amount of water to spill out.
The spa sits just outside my window, so I noticed the pump wasn’t receiving sufficient water after they exited. I shouted from my window, advising her to add water with the hose because it shouldn’t run without water. She retorted that I should stay out of it.
I tried to handle it personally, but upon arrival, the pump was emitting an odd sound, followed by the circuit breaker tripping. The following day, she managed to fill it, but she was unaware of the starting issue’s cause, and I lacked the motivation to inform her about the breaker.
Upon receiving it, my father, who suffers from a severely painful back problem, wished to use the jacuzzi. However, operating the pump without water ended up damaging it, which enraged my dad. My sister deceived him by claiming it was always faulty, preventing her and her companions from enjoying it as well.
I informed him that, in reality, she and her companions caused it to overflow, subsequently running the pump dry. When I offered guidance on how to resolve the issue, she told me to mind my own business. My mother is extremely concerned about my sister’s self-esteem and is upset with me for calling her that name. My father is very angry with my sister because he requires the hot tub to ease his back pain in order to sleep.
My father is angry with my mother for pampering my sister, and the atmosphere in the house is even more strained than normal. My sister is blaming me for everything, calling me a tattletale and a slut-shamer. There’s a lot more to it, but I’m running out of space. Am I the a**hole? Edit: I’m female.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
[Reddit User] − My mom is so freaked out about my sisters self esteem. This is the ‘actual problem’ where people will deny reality to live in denial. Your sister sucks, and even chose to lie about something you tried to help her prevent, while being obnoxious toward you.. NTA.
WholeAd2742 − NTA. The issue isn’t that she’s fat, it’s that she was dismissive and ignored the damage being caused to the pump, and then lied about it. Mom’s coddling is dumb when she literally broke it
Osseh1 − OP NTA. If a device is broken, the best way to find out how to fix it is by telling what happened to it. This is exactly what you did. Your father has a medical reason to use the hot tub, which is in every way more important than your sisters self esteem or feelings.
You even told here it would break down if she did not fill it up. Sister is the TA and your mother is pretty close to it as well. Your sister should’ve just been honest to your father which she didn’t. Hopefully your father is able to fix it soon enough.
Sympathy_Main − NTA – You told her there was a problem, she didn’t care. The problem resulted in the hot tub being broken. “My sister says I caused all the problems because I’m a snitch”. The problem is not the snitch, but the one who cause the problem.
Hellsfire82 − NTA – your sister sounds like an e**itled b**t. Your mom needs to release the her from her bosom. Your sister is a grown adult, you tried to give her a stern warning that she didn’t heed and she damaged someone else’s property (your Parents).
You were justified in telling the truth, but your father is equally justified in being angry that the truth was revealed. Your mother is also wrong for enabling your sister’s behavior. Your mother and sister are the ones at fault in this situation. When using someone else’s belongings, you should always handle them with more care than you would your own.
Her weight or the body size of her acquaintances doesn’t excuse her from taking accountability for ignoring your cautions, expressing gratitude for the guidance, and replenishing the hot tub before causing damage to your parents’ belongings. Your mother needs to cease facilitating her behavior, as she is a mature individual who should be self-reliant.
Your sister’s bare minimum contribution should involve securing a part-time position and promptly repairing the hot tub for your dad, or alternatively, compensating him for the damage, as he’ll need to have it repaired to safeguard his well-being.
pjjj2007 − NTA. There’s a n**ty family dynamic going on here where your mother’s coddling is preventing your sister from developing any resilience. She has to take responsibility for her actions. Stay away from the “f**” word, though.
You didn’t have to use that term to explain the events. I’m unclear on why the word is censored, unless it’s truly considered so disgraceful.
DoIwantToKnow6417 − No need for the whole story.. Basically: Your sister and her friends got in the hot tub. There were too many people in the tub (no need to add their bodyweight). The water overflowed. You told her to fill the tub up because the pump was running dry.
She instructed you to stay out of it and chose not to refill the hot tub. The circuit breaker tripped, and when your father inquired, this 21-year-old opted to fabricate the truth about her involvement.
NTA
rudster199 − NTA, but is the pump motor actually broken, or is the problem just the tripped circuit breaker? From your interaction with your sister, it sounds like resetting the circuit breaker after topping up the water would have solved the problem, but she wouldn’t listen to you.
The issue turned out to be a faulty pump, meaning resetting the breaker was useless until the motor was repaired. What is the situation?
duzins − ESH the weight wasn’t the issue, too many people and not filling up the tub was the issue. You and your sister hate each other so of course she’s not going to listen to you. Your family makes the weight an issue which is likely why your mom ‘coddles’ your sister because you guys hassle her over weight and that shouldn’t be a big deal.
Whether a hot tub is filled with an abundance of slender individuals or those carrying extra weight, the issue remains consistent. The challenges within your family run deeper than any hot tub could reveal; it’s merely a superficial indicator.
Scentsuelle − NTA. I’m fat, I know that I am fat and I know that this means I don’t do certain things or am careful how I do them. If she had listened to you on how to remediate the issue caused by her body shape, she wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.
The interactions within this family are noticeably tense, with long-standing problems adding to an existing complex scenario. Was it better for the original poster to stay silent to avoid conflict, or was it appropriate to disclose what really happened concerning the hot tub?
