AITA for refusing to let my coworker move in after she got evicted, even though I have a spare room?
A Reddit user is struggling with a difficult choice. A colleague, recently made homeless, has asked to rent her spare room. Although she feels sorry for her coworker, the Redditor cherishes the peace and personal space she has recently gained. When she turns down the request in a kind manner, she is met with disapproval from other colleagues who accuse her of being self-centered. The full story is below, detailing how she deals with this awkward scenario.
‘ AITA for refusing to let my coworker move in after she got evicted, even though I have a spare room?’
After diligently saving for several years, I (28F) recently relocated to a pleasant two-bedroom apartment where I live alone. I am employed in a stable position and desired a personal sanctuary where I could have tranquility and solitude. I have been relishing possessing my own residence, and I repurposed the spare bedroom into a workspace.
Last week, a work colleague (32F), someone I get along with but wouldn’t consider a close friend, was kicked out of her apartment. Overwhelmed, she asked if she could stay in my spare room “for a couple of months” while she sorts things out. I sympathized with her situation, but I’ve been savoring my personal space and place a high value on my privacy.
I communicated my discomfort with a housemate situation, proposing she explore temporary housing options or seek assistance from relatives. Her reaction was intense, and she labeled me selfish, emphasizing the availability of a spare room in my otherwise empty house.
She confided in some colleagues, and now several are looking at me askance and remarking that I could “easily assist” but am choosing not to. I don’t believe I should be obligated to open my home to anyone, regardless of their circumstances. However, I’m now questioning whether I’m being insensitive. Am I wrong for denying her request to move in, despite having the means to help?
See what others had to share with OP:
Tdluxon − NTA. First, it sounds like you aren’t even that close, so you don’t owe her any special favors. Second, if she got evicted then that pretty much tells you that she’s a problem tenant, which you don’t want at your house.
Whenever someone is in dire straits and pleads with a relative or friend to take them in for “a few months,” it inevitably lasts considerably longer. Typically, they remain until you force them to leave, at which point they become resentful and portray you as the villain.
There is also a strong possibility that failing to obtain your landlord’s permission beforehand would be a breach of your lease agreement. Regarding your coworkers, if they are so worried, they are welcome to offer her accommodation in their own homes.
RodeoBob − INFO. If you’re **renting** an apartment, then part of the terms of that lease or rental agreement is that you don’t have long-term “guests” staying with you. By letting a co-worker who isn’t on the lease/rental agreement stay there for months, there’s a non-zero chance that *you* could be evicted for violating your lease/rental agreement.
ReviewOk929 − NTA
1. She’s 32 and working, she should be capable of not having to rely on a work colleague
2. Coworkers are hardly stepping up to the plate here
3. Most importantly you’re not obligated to share your space if you don’t want to.
ladystetson − NTA. I would have done the same thing. You don’t owe a complete stranger free room and board. Especially one who has a history of financial instability. Get real.
FairyCompetent − NTA. If she is 32, with no one to ask for help but a not-very-close coworker, and she is behaving this way after you said no, living with her would have been an absolute nightmare.
RelationBig4907 − It’s hard taking in family let alone a coworker. She should try renting a room. NTA
teresajs − NTA. Report her behavior to HR. Tell HR that coworker’s insistence on trying to move in with you , telling your other coworkers, and her calling you s**fish for not housing her has been making you uncomfortable.
LateAd3528 − Hell no! Do not do it!!
Beneficial-Ad4047 − NTA. Asking to use the camper parked out by the garage is reasonable for a good friend or family. Asking for a spare room from a none-too-close coworker is too much. If you wanted a roommate, you’d have one already. The “gets back on her feet” bit also leaves me feeling like she didn’t expect to be paying half of the expenses if you did let her move in.
Just disregard any glares from your colleagues. They are free to create a GoFundMe campaign for her. If you feel compelled to confront them, inquire about their contributions to assist her. Surely, they must have a spare couch or perhaps $100 lying idle in their bank account. That’s the level of assistance they anticipate from you.
Ratchet_gurl24 − Those other co-workers claiming you can easily help. Well so can they. I’m sure one, or more, can easily accommodate her in one of their rooms. Don’t you think!
Is the Redditor right to value her personal privacy more than assisting a colleague, or should she have provided accommodation? In a scenario where your personal space is threatened while someone else faces a crisis, what would your course of action be? Feel free to share your perspective!
