AITAH for cancelling my credit card after my wife took it from me and spent $2000 on a pair of shoes without asking?

A Reddit user found himself in a difficult situation when he learned his wife had charged a pair of shoes costing $2,000 to his credit card without asking. Already struggling with credit card debt and with tempers running high, he decided to cancel the card, which made his wife furious. Read on to find out how the situation played out…

‘ AITAH for cancelling my credit card after my wife took it from me and spent $2000 on a pair of shoes without asking?’

My wife (27f) and I (36m) had an argument. As she often does during our arguments, she grabbed my wallet and phone and wouldn’t return them. After repeatedly asking for their return without success, I left the house to take a walk and calm down.

Once I return, she’s vanished, and I get an email from my bank alerting me to possible unauthorized charges on my card. I log in to my account and see a $2000 pending transaction from an upscale retailer. Apparently, it was for some footwear.

I phoned my bank, reported my card as stolen, and requested they reverse the transaction and deactivate the card. Now my wife is upset with me because we no longer have a credit card available, and she believes I acted too hastily. She faults me for the lack of a credit card, seemingly ignoring that her behavior caused this situation.

We’re carrying roughly $10,000 in credit card balances, and I wasn’t willing to add another $2,000 to that. More importantly, I wasn’t going to allow it to occur without addressing it, because I’m determined to prevent similar situations moving forward. So, am I the bad guy?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

N2VDV8 −  Nope. NTA. Revenge spending is a horseshit maneuver by an immature person who can’t or won’t accept either reality or consequences. Hate to say it, bud, but this relationship sounds unhealthy for you.

greenteasmoothie138 −  NTA. I stopped reading once you said a 27 year old grown ass woman takes your wallet and phone when you argue. I would leave because you are married to a child.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. You’re in an a**sive marriage. Get a divorce lawyer and get rid of her.

[Reddit User] −  What the actual f**k. It is NOOOOT normal for someone to steal their partner’s wallet after a fight. Your wife is batshit crazy and I suspect she’s more a**sive than you’re letting on. F**king leave, dude. That’s how you stop it from happening in the future.

Spare-Article-396 −  You’ve got a bigger problem than $2k shoes.. NTA

JTD177 −  Get out of this relationship before she bankrupts you for real. She is t**ic AF

YouKnowImRight85 −  So what more is it going to take for you to realize that you are in a domestic violence situation and you are the victim?

LostAbbott −  Not sure what the fight was over, but putting your family in further financial stress is definitely an a**hole move on her part. NTA.

andydad1978 −  NTA, but this relationship is doomed. She takes your wallet and credit cards when you fight and spends 2k on shoes? You cancelled the card because she keeps doing this crap? Be careful, the next time you two have a fight, she’s going to find a new way to “punish” you. It will probably be worse than before.

museum_one −  NTA but I’m confused as to why you allow your so called wife to treat you like a child!! You guys argue and this takes your things away from you and refuse to give them back! You make it seem like it’s happened before!! If a man did that the entire world would say he’s controlling and a**sive!! What do you call her behavior? Way too many red flags!!

Was closing the credit card an excessive response, or was it a crucial measure to avoid potential issues down the line? What strategies would you employ to manage financial limits in a relationship where confidence has been damaged? Please share your perspectives in the comments!