AITA for complaining about the couple in the hotel room next door?

A woman on Reddit recounts a disappointing romantic getaway in Europe with her spouse, where their efforts to rekindle their connection are thwarted by the boisterous behavior of a young couple next door. Following a request to the hotel personnel to resolve the issue, friction escalates between the pair, causing discord and emotional distress. The unfolding of this vacation ordeal is detailed in the original account below.

‘ AITA for complaining about the couple in the hotel room next door?’

I (38F) am currently on a European vacation with my husband (41M). We’ve been a couple for 14 years, and this is our first getaway without our children. A key reason for this trip is to reignite our connection. We’re on day 9 of this two-week vacation, and to give you an idea, we’ve been intimate once. We were both intoxicated, and I believe we both pushed it somewhat. We have a wonderful platonic relationship, but our intimacy has been problematic since we became parents.

Since last year, the situation has deteriorated. My spouse confessed that while he ‘loves me, he is no longer sexually attracted to me,’ which was painful, especially considering my weight gain of over 100lbs in the last three years. We’re currently vacationing at a fantastic five-star resort, where the hotel suites include a private plunge pool and patio.

Since our arrival, my spouse has criticized almost everything, including the hotel, its employees, the cuisine, and other patrons. A young British couple checked into the adjacent room five days prior. To provide some background, they are both quite good-looking; I wouldn’t be surprised to learn they were Instagram influencers or something similar.

The problem is that every room is adjoined, and we have a room and a lower balcony from which we can view this couple’s terrace. Since their arrival, we have overheard them engaging in sexual activity approximately twice daily. Furthermore, when they are on the terrace, they are constantly kissing and touching each other, and the woman next door sunbathes without a top.

I know we are in Europe and thats the norm but I find it hard to get use to. My husband quickly befriended them over the balcony, and truthfully I think lusting over the woman next door. Who I think was oblivious to this. I have also spoken to them both and they seem nice.

After being woken in the middle of the night two nights ago to the sound of them having s**, and again that morning. I went and asked the concierge if they could ask them to keep it down. Obviously having been told something, last night the man next door angrily told my husband if he had an issue he should of said something directly.

My husband did not know I had reported it, and we then argued all yesterday evening. My husband called me ridiculous and a prude and that if I was ‘more carefree’ we wouldn’t have any issues. I also brought up his obvious like of the woman next door and he angrily said ‘why wouldn’t I, she is young, thin and hot’ which was an obvious dig of what I am not.

He then angrily walked around the hotel room before going to sleep in silence. This morning I woke up to a text that he had gone to hike up a hill/mountain – this takes all day and we had decided earlier in the trip we wouldn’t do it. Since he returned we have hardly spoken, and we were supposed to go out for dinner but he has suggested we just order room service.

Am I the unreasonable one for being unhappy with the neighbors, or is he the one in the wrong for abandoning me at the hotel during our vacation? I need some perspective on whether my complaining about the couple next door was as awful as he claims.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Baileythenerd −  **YTA** OP, I know you’re hoping we’ll judge you vs your husband, but that’s not the thing that’s ultimately at the core of the “AITA” judgement. You took out your insecurities and dissatisfaction with *your* vacation on a couple on *their own* vacation.

You could’ve talked with them directly since there clearly was some communication, if your issue was *actually* with them. Instead you were mad at your husband, and decided that SOMEONE needed to be punished, why not the people triggering your insecurity? Yes, your husband is an a**hole, and you need to work that out with him- but you don’t need to take out your pettiness on bystanders.

Fragrant-Hyena9522 −  You don’t need a vacation, you need therapy. You two seem to have serious issues that a different bedroom isn’t going to solve. If you are both intent on saving your marriage, you owe it to yourselves to at least try counseling or therapy. Edit: Thank you for the award and all the upvotes. Most importantly, I hope this couple can rekindle the love that was once there. Thank you again kind strangers.

DeckerAllAround −  YTA, sorry. Your husband is the *biggest* a**hole present, but you’re taking out your frustrations on innocent bystanders. It’s not the younger lady’s fault that your husband is an inappropriate horndog. It’s not their fault that your vacation isn’t having the restorative effect you were hoping for.

In truth, the problem isn’t really the sexual activity. The real problem is that your spouse seems awful, is causing you distress, and you’re trying to find a cause for your distress that isn’t the potential end of your established relationship.

CheeryBottom −  ESH. I think your husband has realised something that he doesn’t want to say verbally so he is allowing his behaviour to speak volumes instead. I strongly believe your husband has checked out of this marriage and this holiday without having any distractions to hide behind, has made him realise your worst fears about your marriage.

You two should have a very important discussion, free from any interruptions. Brace yourselves for the possibility of a negative outcome, and I hope you have people you can turn to for support when you return.

Innerouterself2 −  YTA – it aint the neighbors you have a problem with hunny. Yeah sure, asked to be moved rooms as you can hear the nieghbors… all night long… but it is not your husbands fault the neighbors seem nice. Y’all got big ol issues and a 12 day vacation probably wont fix anything. What it will do is make the issues bubble to the surface so you can deal with them. Have some drinks, get some sun, find a book, relax, – the nieghbors are doing the same thing.

StAlvis −  YTA. Your **insecurity** and **jealousy** are *your* burdens to carry. This has only gotten worse since last year my husband told me he ‘loves me but doesn’t find me attractive sexually anymore’ which was upsetting and hurtful as in the past three years I have gained over 100lbs. Well you clearly know what you need to do. Whether you do or not is entirely up to you.

Eliza-Day −  YTA. You let your jealousy and insecurity get the better of you. You weren’t happy with how your vacation is going and took it out on a couple for being happy and doing what people do in hotels.

OhHeyBluePenguin −  ESH. You let your jealousy for that young couples relationship which is still passionate and fun, cause you to try and spoil things for them. I understand feeling insecure, and I understand this isn’t the trip you wanted, but I think you could have approached this differently.

Your spouse is wrong for failing to put in more effort to improve your relationship and bring back the passion. It’s also not right that he’s away from you the entire day. However, as I continued to read your message, I began to question why you are still with him and attempting to create a closeness that no longer exists.

I believe the young couple is slightly inconsiderate for being so noisy, but in all honesty, it’s a romantic vacation, and while they could be a bit quieter, they have a right to enjoy themselves! You should really evaluate the state of your marriage.

canada11235813 −  Yes, YTA. There are a lot of issues to unravel here, but you’re asking about one specific one, and the right way to handle it would simply to have mentioned it to the couple, possibly is some sort of joking way…

“Heheh listen, you know, back when we were young maybe we could’ve kept up with you, but anyway, notwithstanding you guys are having a great time, we’re older and like to sleep more. If possible, you know, tone it down a notch or two” — or something like that.

Bringing in someone else due to your own lack of confidence is a really terrible thing to do. Handle your own issues maturely, and only escalate if it’s truly necessary. And seriously, keeping your husband in the dark and allowing him to bear the consequences? You’ve made a huge problem and spoiled your holiday.

SeaExplorer1711 −  I’m going to go against other judgements but I really think you are NTA. Regardless of what you are going through with your husband, it is extremely annoying to hear people f*ck multiple times per day. They can keep doing their business without the whole floor knowing. Should you go to them first? Maybe.

It’s really awkward to discuss this with strangers, and I suspect all they received was a brief call informing them about a noise complaint from their room and a request to lower the volume. It’s unlikely they faced penalties or eviction from the hotel. Furthermore (although you didn’t ask, I’m adding this), your husband’s behavior is completely disrespectful and his manner of speaking to you is intolerable.

That you’ve put on weight doesn’t give him license to be nasty. If his goal is to revive your intimacy and explore ways to reconnect, that’s one thing. But it appears he’s less interested in constructive dialogue and more interested in making you feel insecure about your appearance.

Was the user right to complain about the noise coming from her neighbors, or was she exaggerating, which put a strain on her relationship? What would you do if something beyond your control ruined a romantic vacation you desperately needed? Let us know what you think!