AITA for picking up my neighbour’s lingerie?

A Reddit user recounts an odd scenario with the couple living above them, highlighted by repeated incidents of laundry mix-ups. Although the user has tried to be helpful, the husband has labeled their actions as “creepy” due to their handling of the wife’s intimate apparel, which often lands on their balcony. While the wife appears appreciative, the husband’s attitude has created friction. Is the user in the wrong, or are they simply acting neighborly? The full account is provided below.

‘ AITA for picking up my neighbour’s lingerie?’

So, there’s a pair residing in the apartment directly across from mine, one floor up (our patios are in view of one another). Since they became my neighbors, I’ve observed that the woman usually washes clothes on a specific day, and her spouse puts it on their veranda to air out when it’s done.

I can’t tell if he’s simply uninformed or apathetic, but he tends to throw his clothes over the railing instead of hanging them neatly. Consequently, lighter, more delicate items such as lingerie (bras, underwear, etc.) fall off and the wind blows them onto MY balcony.

Mistakes still occur, so I collect any items that were accidentally dropped, ensure they are thoroughly dried, and keep them secure until I can awkwardly give them back the following day. The wife is clearly mortified but appreciates my effort to prevent her intimate apparel from being misplaced.

Months have passed, and this continues like a well-oiled machine every week. My wife and I are now operating on an unspoken routine where she retrieves her intimate apparel from my place the day following my laundry.

It doesn’t matter how many times she tells her husband to fix the problem it never changes (she works during the time they need to be hanged so she can’t do it herself. Now after all of this, I run into her husband one afternoon and he’s ANNOYED at me.

He didn’t shout, more sharply worded, but he made his point clear. He doesn’t like what I’ve been doing, I shouldn’t be touching his wife’s lingerie let alone keeping it overnight in my apartment. According to him, me taking a married woman’s intimate clotting is creepy and violating.

And if I was really just returning it I wouldn’t keep it overnight and instead come to their apartment late at night to return it immediately. He also spent a while completing that his wife was giving him a hard time for how he was hanging the clothes thanks to me.

User:I’m being labelled as an “a**hole” for my actions, but I disagree. I’m rectifying HIS error and promptly giving the lingerie back to its rightful owner, as any decent person would. I understand it’s a personal item, but I don’t think I’m in the wrong. Am I the a**hole?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

_mmiggs_ −  NTA. Going in to their apartment and rummaging through her underwear drawer is creepy. Picking up her underwear when the wind blows it on to your balcony is a neighborly act. If he doesn’t want you to handle his wife’s underclothes, he needs to peg them out properly. This is all on him.

30ught6 −  The only a**hole I can identify in this situation is the other ladies husband. I guess just throw everything that falls on your balcony, either in the trash or over the rail. Or donate it to the goodwill. That fella sounds like an insufferable p**ck

crazyheather345 −  “Don’t touch my wife’s underwear! That’s disrespectful” says man who shows zero respect for his own wife’s underwear.. NTA

ExistenceRaisin −  NTA. This is insane. HE is the reason you have to handle his wife’s lingerie. This is his fault, not yours. If he doesn’t want this to happen, he needs to learn how to hang washing properly

DefiantUpstairs1651 −  lol. NTA, just throw the lingerie down your balcony to fall where it may after telling the wife her husband is feeling so insecure that you’re afraid to help. That’ll solve the issue.

sneerfuldawn −  NTA. Start pushing them off your balcony and let them chase the lingerie down. I would stop doing them any favors. The husband is weird.

Organic-Source-7432 −  I would just throw it off your balcony he can go pick it up off the ground in the morning if it’s still there

mileslefttogo −  Obviously, you are NTA, but the husband and wife both are. First the husband for being upset with you because of his failure. Secondly for the wife allowing it to continue for so long without setting the husband straight. If it was so embarrassing to everyone it would have stopped after the first time.

olive_us_here −  NTA- It’s a kind thing for you to do, and I’m surprised they haven’t tried to fix this issue. Husband is out of control that he wants to inconvenient you more. Next time you give back the undergarment, include some clothesline clips.

serenityrain85 −  I find it interesting that only her lingerie is falling. Not her dainty tank tops, not his boxers, but ONLY her lingerie. After this long, and this many times of being told how to correct the issue, the only logical explanation is he’s doing it for his own thrills.

He seems to be deliberately displaying her underwear in a somewhat exhibitionistic way. Plus, delicate garments don’t take long to dry, so they could have just been placed on a table inside.

Is the person overstepping by holding onto the belongings until the next day, or are they just acting like a thoughtful neighbor? What’s the best way to manage these kinds of situations in order to respect limits and prevent disagreements? Let us know what you think!