AITA for not saying anything about the underwear?

A person on Reddit recounted an uncomfortable situation with their daughter and her soon-to-be husband, who are currently living with them. The atmosphere has been strained, and following a mistake where some of the mother’s lingerie was mixed in with the couple’s clothing, the daughter jumped to the conclusion that her fiancé was being unfaithful. The Redditor, realizing that the underwear belonged to his wife, decided to stay out of it and simply observe the ensuing dispute.

Eventually, the wife came home, confirmed the underwear was hers, and the daughter felt embarrassed. Now, the daughter refuses to speak to her father, and the fiancé stormed out. The user wonders if they were wrong for not stepping in sooner. Read the original story below for all the details.

‘ AITA for not saying anything about the underwear?’

My daughter, 20, and her fiancé are living with us right now. While I adore my daughter, she’s a handful, and I truly dislike her fiancé. I set a move-out date for them because I’ve reached my limit. They had a huge argument recently while my wife was away.

It seems my wife’s undergarments ended up mixed with their clothes, leading her to suspect infidelity. The speed with which she concluded he was unfaithful suggests a deep-seated problem in their relationship.

She was brandishing the underwear, and I recognized the floral pattern, but I chose to let the absurd argument continue. After approximately half an hour, my wife returned home and identified the underwear as belonging to her. My wife questioned whether I hadn’t realized they were hers, and I inadvertently chuckled.

My girl started crying and isn’t saying anything to me. Her fiancé declared we were in trouble and stormed out, but my spouse found it amusing.

See what others had to share with OP:

whomst_jpeg −  You might be the a**hole but i am LIVING for it. Edit: my personal verdict is YTA but I’d like to invoke Shitman v. Frickboy which states that in times of outlandish or otherwise infantile behaviour, assholery may, subject to scrutiny, be permitted.

alsbigdeal −  ESH. Including me because I laughed too.

Phy44 −  NTA. If your first thought is “cheating” not “the other woman that lives in this house” you’ve got issues.

moudine −  NTA, it’s not your fight either. Also it’s wild that your daughter would think that her fiance was bringing girls into YOUR house, he own parents, to cheat on and accidentally leave underwear there! That’s hilarious and I would have probably laughed, too. If I lived with another woman and the same thing happened to me, I feel like I would assume they were hers before anything else. My SO and I keep our laundry separate and stuff of his still ends up in mine.

[Reddit User] −  NTA- you made a great point, if her first instinct is to accuse him of cheating, despite living in a household with ANOTHER WOMAN, meaning your wife, then they have some major problems that they should definitely work through before getting married. Honestly, it is pretty amusing that you let them ride it out on their own without your input.

perublanket39 −  ESH. Can’t complain about people fighting when you could have stopped it. But you don’t deserve to have an angry couple in your own home.

ThrowRA-shopping123 −  I’m stuck somewhere between ESH and NTA. It’s not your fight. Your daughter sounds like a piece of work, and it sounds like they have some serious issues. However, you had the power to step in and easily resolve that specific conflict. Not to mention she was waving your wife’s underwear around the house.

[Reddit User] −  YTA. I don’t know what “difficult” means, so if there were more info on what exactly your daughter’s done that is so awful maybe that can change. But I’m saying YTA because you just sat back and let your daughter believe that someone she loves enough to marry had deeply hurt and betrayed her. You sat there and laughed quietly to yourself and enjoyed her pain.

It’s possible I’m wrong and everyone sucks here, but you really need to consider why you find it so amusing to inflict pain on your daughter. Is that fleeting enjoyment worth jeopardizing your bond with her? Have you thought about the potential lasting repercussions, or should you perhaps move past this and try to have a genuine conversation to resolve your issues maturely?

She transitioned from suspecting infidelity by her fiancé to realizing that her father would permit her to remain deceived, finding amusement in her distress. Just because you find something funny doesn’t negate its potential to cause harm, and her decision to cut off communication with you is entirely understandable in light of these circumstances.

spaceshipcommander −  You are, but that’s hilarious and I’d have done the same thing.

Levivianne −  YTA, you might not agree with her choice of boyfriends, but you could have saved her some grief here. You obviously hurt her feelings by laughing. What’s done is done and they might break up sooner or later for other reasons but you didn’t have your daughter’s back.