AITA for leaving home after my partner let his son invite 5 friends for a sleepover when I’m recovering from major surgery, without discussing it with me first?

A Reddit user expresses anger after their significant other permitted his son to have five companions over for a slumber party while they were recuperating from a serious operation. The user was completely unaware of the planned sleepover and felt ambushed by their partner’s choice.

Although the individual was distressed and desired relaxation, their significant other failed to recognize the problem and proposed that the individual vacate the premises and reside with relatives. The individual is currently uncertain as to whether their response was overly dramatic and if they erred in departing. The complete narrative can be found in the initial entry provided below.

‘ AITA for leaving home after my partner let his son invite 5 friends for a sleepover when I’m recovering from major surgery, without discussing it with me first?’

I (44F) underwent significant surgery last week. I’m currently at home recuperating and on leave from my job for 2 weeks, with a suggested 4-6 weeks before getting back to my usual routine. My partner (42M) told me late yesterday that his son (13M) is hosting five friends for a sleepover this evening.

It is currently Saturday in my location. I was unaware that he had permitted his son to arrange this gathering, which is occurring without any specific cause. My immediate reaction was upset. I questioned his decision to consent to it, particularly without consulting me beforehand, especially given that I had recently returned home from the hospital and am still in the process of recovering from a significant surgical procedure.

His reply was that he didn’t believe it would have any impact on me, and he simply neglected to bring it up. I burst into tears, expressing my feelings of being neglected and his lack of consideration for my healing process. He kept repeating that he couldn’t understand why it should matter to me and that it wasn’t significant.

He proposed that, if it was such a problem for me, I could spend the night at my mother’s house. I didn’t even wait for the following day (today, Saturday); I packed my bag and drove to my mother’s immediately, despite not being allowed to drive yet.

He’s texted me, claiming I’m exaggerating and that he remains unconvinced it’s significant. I can’t grasp how he believes that adding five more teenage boys to a house with a single bathroom, where the living area is directly adjacent to our bedroom where I’m meant to rest and recuperate, won’t have an impact on me.

AITA for leaving right away, when in fact, I don’t think I should have left at all. I think the sleepover should have been cancelled for another time?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

DS3333 −  NTA, what’s wrong with him? Is he usually so thoughtless? Is he the type that because he is not currently recovering from major surgery that he can’t use his empathy and imagine what that would be like for you?

Take into consideration his previous actions – is this a typical pattern for him? If it is, you merit more. I hope you recover thoroughly and quickly.

diminishingpatience −  NTA. His response was that he didn’t think it would affect me and he just forgot to mention it.. He’s either a l**r or an i**ot.

He really believes that adding five teenage boys to a house with only one bathroom, and with the living room adjacent to the bedroom where I’m meant to be resting and healing, will have no impact on me… I’m going with m***n.

redelectro7 −  Stay at your mum’s house, there’s nothing left for you back there.

ProfMG −  NTA and I hope you’ll post an update about 1- how he handled all the chaos 2-the state of the house after the sleep over and who cleaned it,

3- your opinion on whether a relationship can last with someone so unaware of what you require, and 4 – any subsequent events stemming from your visit to your mother’s (which I commend you for).

EJ_1004 −  NTA. I think you should go back and get the rest of your stuff.

Far_Quantity_6133 −  NTA. In the wake of a major surgery, your husband should be doing everything in his power to ensure that you’re comfortable and that you have a peaceful place to recover. Instead, he decided to have 5 teenagers over.

That was an unwise choice to host a party, and it reflects poorly on your husband’s judgment. I hate to say it, but he either A.) isn’t prioritizing your healing as much as he ought to, or B.) is completely clueless about what’s needed after surgery and won’t take your word for it.

needabook55 −  NTA. The part where he is sending you messages about you overreacting is probably because he thought you would stay at the house and take care of the kids, even though you are recovering from surgery.

Now he was responsible for looking after the children and ensuring their well-being. Is your significant other consistently exploiting you and failing to maintain open lines of communication?

whyohwhy4068 −  I have teenage sons. Five extra is actually less work. They barely leave each others side. All hubby needs to do is provide food at regular intervals. Having said that, hell no whilst you’re recovering from surgery. NTA

Shatner_Stealer −  NTA. I am f**king BOILING. Absolutely f**k that dude straight to f**k. Sorry for all the swears. I am RAGING OUT over here.

AriDiamondGold −  He doesn’t want to be with you and is waiting for you d**p him.

Was the Redditor right to respond the way they did, or were the partner’s actions understandable given the situation? If you were in the Reddit user’s position, what would you do? Let us know what you think in the comments!