AITA for saying I’ll be driving myself and paying for my own room on the upcoming family vacation so I won’t have to be a babysitter?

Feeling annoyed after being forced to watch his nephews during last year’s family holiday, a 23-year-old man, who was unable to participate in any of the activities he wanted, has decided to drive himself and cover the cost of his own accommodation for the next vacation in order to avoid a repeat performance.

His relatives, particularly his sibling, are displeased and believe he will spoil the holiday if he refuses to assist. Read the original narrative below…

‘ AITA for saying I’ll be driving myself and paying for my own room on the upcoming family vacation so I won’t have to be a babysitter?’

I constantly found myself in the role of assistant and caretaker during family events. I had to leave my parents’ home due to the constant pressure to supervise my three nephews. Last year, we went on a family trip to the beach during the summer. I traveled with my parents, and they covered the cost of my accommodation.

I feel compelled to recount how I was relegated to sharing accommodations with my three rambunctious nephews, as my sister and her spouse desired their own private space. Despite assurances of having personal time during the holiday, I found myself primarily occupied with assisting in the care of the children. I voiced my discontent to all who would listen, only to be met with the retort that my presence was without cost.

Essentially, the only activity we engaged in was one I was interested in – visiting an art gallery. I enjoy this activity when I’m near the ocean, but the children are not fond of it. This year, my parents are planning a beach vacation in June, and they anticipated my joining them as I did previously. However, I declined.

I mentioned that I would handle my transportation and accommodation, booking my own room. My parents expressed disbelief, pointing out the expenses involved. I reassured them that it wasn’t a concern, highlighting my stable employment and reliable vehicle, which made it easily manageable. That’s when the objections began.

I mentioned those things before to explain why I’m choosing to drive and pay my own way. I’m aiming to experience this vacation as a grown-up, not be handled like I was last year when I felt like a kid. My parents told my sister, and she phoned me, furious, saying that I’ll spoil the vacation if I’m out doing my own activities while she’s stuck managing her three sons.

I wound up shouting at her that the previous year she only dragged me into her drama. I barely had the chance to engage in any activities I desired. Furthermore, I was portrayed as the villain for simply expressing a desire to visit an art exhibit. I am an adult. I am also entitled to my own getaway.

Now my sister is not speaking to me, and my parents are still trying to convince me to just ride with them to keep the peace. I’m still refusing. But the pressure is getting to me. AITA for not giving in? I know they’ll have a pretty hard time when they won’t have another person there to help.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

SamSpayedPI −  My parents told my sister, and she called to blow up at me that I’ll be ruining the vacation if I’m off doing my own thing while she has to wrangle her three boys.

That’s ridiculous. She’s acknowledging that she’s sabotaging *your* time off to protect her own! Those are *her* children, and *she* should be taking care of them. NTA. Actually, you’re more agreeable than *I* would be; I would simply decline and skip the family trip entirely.

KronkLaSworda −  NTA Do not give in. It’s time to stand your ground. This internet stranger is proud of you. Holy s**t. Never in the history of AItA has there been such a clear-cut case of Golden Child and S**pegoat, and I’ve seen some doozies. I’m a grown man. I deserve my own vacation too.

Indeed. I wonder what benefit these family trips provide you? Simply pursue your individual interests and sidestep the inconvenience, tension, and obligation to supervise children.

75oharas −  NTA but if you are paying for yourself go somewhere else on your own to make it a hard no to babysitting

Normal-Height-8577 −  NTA. And at this point, I would personally be saying “Okay, you guys have collectively made it very clear that I’m not wanted as adult company but only as free childcare.

To maintain positive family relationships, it would be best if we all stepped back from that pattern. Therefore, I won’t be joining this year’s trip. I hope you all have a great time, but I’ll be vacationing solo somewhere else this year.

Also? Let your parents know that you can’t maintain harmony when another person is the cause of the disruption. Your sister’s persistent trampling on your time and generosity shouldn’t be something you simply endure indefinitely. She’s a mother, and looking after her kids is her duty.

Even while on holiday, if someone extends assistance to her, she should appreciate their kindness rather than presuming upon their help and expecting them to give up their entire vacation. Nobody is obligated to make that sacrifice for her. Furthermore, she is not entitled to leave her children with others for overnight stays.

the_harlinator −  Nta. Your sister can pay a babysitter to come on the vacation if she doesn’t want to deal with her 3 children. Personally, I wouldn’t even go bc even in a separate hotel room, they aren’t going to leave you alone about this. They feel very entitled for your babysitting services.

No_Yogurtcloset_1020 −  NTA. As a mom of 3 rowdy boys myself, you aren’t doing anything wrong. Your sister is a parent, so it’s her job vacation or not to parent her kids. You’re child free and should be allowed to enjoy your vacation without being a babysitter.

Her choice to have kids is the only thing spoiling her sister’s vacation.

Edit: I appreciate the award, thanks. ♥️

Chocolatecandybar_ −  NTA. It’s four persons for three boys, if they need more help they can hire a nanny. Plus: claps to your sister, she trapped you in free babysitting by making your parents pay your room. Wow the entitlement is real

berriiwitch −  NTA a million times over. If they keep giving you s**t, I wouldn’t even go. If you do, stay firm when your sister inevitably tries dumping the kids on you. Or send her links to a babysitting service that’s local to where you’ll be going. Tell your parents they can use the money they were going to spend on you for a babysitter for your sister.

Parasamgate −  BRAVO!!! Well done! You win! Finally, someone that knows the exact solution required, and stands their ground without being s**age about it. I am so proud of you.

I’m really happy for you. Knowing that you’ve identified your needs and are setting firm boundaries with your entitled sister, and your parents, who felt the need to run and tattle on you instead of dismissing her unreasonable demands, makes me feel a little better as I begin my day.

They are her children, not yours. You’ve put in the effort and deserve this break. Relish your independence. NTA, NTA, NTA

BeeYehWoo −  Not only is she furious with me. But she’s also upset no one in the comments is siding with her. Hey sis you’re the a**hole. You chose to get pregnant with 3 boys. Its not your brother’s job to babysit. Be a proper mother and do whats required to take care of your own children.

Your brother chose to not have children and doesnt need to be burdened with your 3 unruly children but on top of that your guilt tripping him into watching your kids and lastly, ruining his vacation by being yoru free childcare.

Your brother is being treated unfairly in this situation, while you act superior and expect him to obey you. Mature and accept accountability for the issue you caused. If you require childcare, cover the expenses, and do not presume that others should dedicate their time to you without compensation.

Your parents are equally at fault for supporting and encouraging this dynamic. They show such preferential treatment towards your sister, which comes at your cost. When your parents contact you, OP, inquire about the reasons behind their actions. You are not the wrongdoer in this situation; however, your sister and parents are definitely the ones in the wrong.

Why are you still planning this trip with individuals who will undoubtedly treat you poorly and resent you for asserting yourself? You possess the financial resources and independence to plan your own getaway and the courage to defend yourself. Abandon this unpleasant group and savor the rest and recreation you’ve earned.

Is he justified in placing his personal freedom and leisure above all else during this vacation?