AITA for not giving my dad a second chance after he abandoned us for 10 years?
Oh, family drama. It's the cornerstone of so many AITA posts, and today's submission really hits home with a tale of abandonment, resentment, and the incredibly difficult choice of forgiveness. We've all heard stories of estranged parents, but what happens when the absentee parent decides to waltz back into your life a decade later, expecting open arms? It's a truly thorny situation, fraught with emotional baggage and deep-seated pain. What do you do when the person who shaped your earliest wounds suddenly wants a 'second chance'? Our OP is grappling with exactly that.\nIt's a question that resonates with anyone who's ever felt betrayed by a loved one. Is blood thicker than water, or does the weight of past hurts outweigh any familial obligation? The internet is already buzzing with opinions on this one, and it's clear there's no easy answer. Let's dive into the story of a child confronted by a ghost from the past, and see if we can collectively figure out if they're out of line for protecting their peace.
"AITA for not giving my dad a second chance after he abandoned us for 10 years?"
This story is a heartbreaking example of the profound impact of parental abandonment. Our Original Poster (OP) endured a decade of their father's absence, leaving their mother to shoulder immense responsibilities and the children to navigate crucial developmental years without a paternal figure. The pain and resentment built up over such a long period are completely understandable. To expect a child, now an adult, to simply 'forgive and forget' without acknowledging the depth of that hurt is incredibly naive, if not outright cruel.\nThe father's excuses, while perhaps offering a glimpse into his perspective, do little to mitigate the damage done. Claiming he was 'overwhelmed' or that a 'new wife didn't want him talking to his past' comes across as self-serving and deflective. It doesn't excuse the complete lack of contact or financial support for a decade. The idea that his children were 'better off' without him is a convenient rationalization for his own choices, not a factual assessment of their well-being.\nThe OP's decision to refuse a second chance is a valid exercise of their personal boundaries and emotional self-preservation. They are not obligated to offer reconciliation, especially when the emotional cost could be immense. Forgiveness, if it ever happens, is a personal journey and a gift, not a right that the absent parent can demand. The OP has every right to protect the life and peace they've painstakingly built without him.\nUltimately, this is a story about consequences. The father made a choice ten years ago, and he must now live with the fallout of that decision. While some might argue for the power of forgiveness, it is important to distinguish between forgiving for one's own peace and allowing someone back into your life who has demonstrated such a profound capacity for harm. The OP is prioritizing their well-being, which is a courageous and healthy stance.
The Internet Weighs In: Can You Ever Come Back From 10 Years of Silence?
The internet, as expected, was largely united on this one. The overwhelming sentiment was 'NTA' (Not The Asshole), with countless users expressing solidarity with OP's decision. Many emphasized that 10 years isn't a 'mistake' but a conscious choice, and the father forfeited his right to a relationship the moment he abandoned his children. There was a strong current of support for OP's right to protect their peace and not be forced into a relationship out of guilt or societal expectation. It really highlights how much people value self-respect and boundaries in difficult family situations.\A smaller but vocal contingent did suggest that everyone deserves a second chance, or that forgiveness, even if not reconciliation, could be freeing for OP. However, these comments were largely overshadowed by the sheer volume of users stating that the father's excuses were insufficient and that he should face the consequences of his actions. It's clear that while the desire for family connection is strong, the line is drawn when severe abandonment is involved, and the burden of rebuilding trust falls entirely on the one who broke it.
This AITA story serves as a powerful reminder that while family ties can be strong, they are not unbreakable, especially when one party actively severs them. OP's choice to protect themselves and their sister from further potential pain is not just valid, it's commendable. It's a testament to their strength and resilience. The internet largely agrees: you don't owe an absent parent a second chance, especially after a decade of silence and neglect. Building a life free from that kind of disruption is a monumental achievement, and OP has every right to safeguard it.
