AITA for refusing to let my terminally ill brother meet my newborn daughter because he molested me as kids?
Welcome back to another emotionally charged AITA post that delves into the incredibly complex and painful intersections of family, trauma, and the instinct to protect. Today's submission, from a new parent, presents a dilemma so profoundly difficult that it forces us to confront the lasting scars of childhood abuse and the unbearable weight of impossible decisions. \n The original poster, 'ThrowawayTrauma,' brings a scenario that will undoubtedly spark intense debate and a wave of empathy across our community. It's a raw, unfiltered look at a sibling relationship irrevocably shattered by past horrors, now complicated by a terminal illness and the arrival of new, innocent life. How does one navigate such a deeply personal and ethically fraught situation?
"AITA for refusing to let my terminally ill brother meet my newborn daughter because he molested me as kids?"
This AITA post plummets into the darkest corners of human experience, pitting deeply ingrained trauma against the finality of a terminal illness. The original poster's decision stems from a place of profound past hurt and an instinct to protect. The molestation, a severe betrayal, is an unmovable block between the siblings, a scar that time and even imminent death cannot erase. \n On one hand, there's the agonizing plea from a dying man and the understandable grief of parents watching their child fade. The desire for closure or a moment of connection before the end is a powerful human impulse. For the family, the focus has shifted entirely to Mark's immediate suffering, potentially overshadowing the long-term pain caused to the OP. \n However, the OP's trauma is not something that can be simply brushed aside for the sake of a 'dying wish.' The past abuse fundamentally altered their relationship and their sense of safety. Asking the OP to expose themselves, or their innocent child, to the perpetrator of such trauma, even a dying one, is an immense and potentially re-traumatizing demand. \n Ultimately, the OP has every right to establish boundaries that protect their emotional well-being and, crucially, the safety and sanctity of their newborn daughter's space. Forcing contact, especially when the root cause of estrangement is so severe, would be a disservice to the OP's healing journey and could create a dangerous precedent for their child's future.
The Internet Weighs In: Can a Dying Wish Trump Childhood Trauma?
The comments section for this post was, predictably, a tsunami of support for the original poster. The overwhelming consensus firmly placed the 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) stamp on their decision. Many users emphasized that the OP's trauma is valid and does not magically disappear or become less significant just because the abuser is ill. The protection of a child was repeatedly highlighted as a parent's paramount duty. \n Numerous personal anecdotes flooded in, with users sharing similar experiences of family pressure to 'forgive' or 'forget' past abuse for the sake of 'family unity.' The community largely agreed that a dying wish does not erase a history of molestation, and that the OP's peace of mind and their daughter's safety are far more important than any perceived obligation to a perpetrator.
This post serves as a stark reminder that some wounds run too deep to ever truly heal, and forgiveness is a personal journey, not an obligation. The community's overwhelming support for the original poster underscores a vital truth: protecting oneself and one's children from past abusers, regardless of their current circumstances, is not selfish, but an act of profound self-preservation and responsible parenting. We extend our full empathy to the OP and hope they find peace amidst this difficult family crisis.
