AITA for telling my rape survivor sister to “just get over it already” after 15 years?

Today, we're diving into a story that touches on one of the most sensitive and enduring human experiences: trauma. Specifically, the long shadow cast by a horrific event and the immense challenge it poses not just for the survivor, but for their entire support system. It's a heavy topic, and this post explores the raw, often uncomfortable realities of living with long-term suffering within a family dynamic.

Our submitter, known as 'Throwaway1234,' brings us a situation that has many layers of pain and frustration. After 15 years, the emotional toll on everyone involved is palpable. This story forces us to confront difficult questions about empathy, endurance, and the deeply personal timeline of healing. Prepare yourselves for a tough read, and let's approach this with the compassion it deserves.

"AITA for telling my rape survivor sister to “just get over it already” after 15 years?"

This story is incredibly difficult to unpack, primarily because it involves profound pain and a stark lack of understanding. The submitter's comment, 'just get over it already,' hurled at a rape survivor, is deeply insensitive and damaging. Trauma, especially from sexual assault, is not something one simply 'gets over' on a timeline. It reshapes a person's brain, their sense of safety, and their ability to trust, often requiring lifelong coping strategies and professional support.

Fifteen years might seem like a long time to an outsider, but for a survivor, the healing journey is non-linear and often includes periods of intense struggle. Remarks like the one made by the OP can invalidate a survivor's experience, make them feel guilty for their ongoing pain, and set back any progress they might have made. It strips away empathy and replaces it with an impossible demand.

However, it's also important to acknowledge the immense strain on family members who are supporting a loved one through chronic trauma. The emotional burnout and frustration described by the OP are very real. Witnessing someone you love struggle for so long, and feeling helpless or even resentful of the impact on your own life, is an incredibly challenging experience. It doesn't excuse the comment, but it does highlight the desperation.

The OP's exhaustion is a cry for help in itself, but it was misdirected in the most harmful way. Families dealing with severe trauma need support too, perhaps even family counseling, to navigate these complex emotions and learn healthier ways to cope and communicate. The comment, while understandable in its underlying frustration, utterly failed to provide the empathy and patience Sarah desperately needs.

The Internet Reacts: Can You 'Just Get Over' Trauma?

The comments section for this post was, predictably, a firestorm. The overwhelming sentiment was a resounding 'YTA' (You're The Asshole) for the original poster. Users were quick to point out the extreme insensitivity and fundamental misunderstanding of trauma, particularly sexual assault, evident in the OP's remark. Many shared personal experiences or explained the lasting neurological and psychological effects of such severe events, emphasizing that healing isn't a choice.

Beyond the condemnation, many commenters also offered a touch of nuance, acknowledging the OP's potential burnout. However, they consistently maintained that while frustration is valid, directing it at the survivor with such a dismissive phrase is never acceptable. Several suggestions for the OP included seeking their own therapy to deal with the secondary trauma of supporting a survivor, or finding resources to better understand complex PTSD and its long-term impact on individuals and families.

This raw story serves as a stark reminder that trauma is an invisible wound with a profound, lasting impact. While caregiver burnout is a real and difficult experience, it never justifies invalidating a survivor's pain. Empathy, education, and professional support, not ultimatums, are essential for navigating such challenging family dynamics. For anyone struggling on either side of such an equation, seeking professional help for understanding and coping mechanisms is paramount. Let this be a lesson in the power of words and the enduring nature of human suffering and resilience.