Need advice. My fiance (58 m) expects me (54 f)to make him a full course breakfast during the work week. Are there women who work FT who have time to cook a full breakfast for their man before they start work?

Mornings can be a source of conflict due to differing routines, particularly in a hectic home. Our narrator, a 24-year-old woman, recounts a frequent disagreement with her fiancé regarding breakfast preferences. He likes a substantial meal—bacon, eggs, potatoes, and either toast or biscuits—while she opts for a lighter, faster option such as yogurt.

Operating on a hybrid work model full-time means she prioritizes a little more sleep over rising early to make a complete breakfast each morning. This habit, which began as a minor difference in morning routines, has grown into a heated argument, with her fiancé claiming that women all over the country would gladly prepare an elaborate breakfast for their husbands.

Navigating the conflict between established norms and contemporary life, she wonders if standing her ground against his requests casts her as the villain. Is it legitimate to expect a man to depend on his partner for weekday meals, or is her desire to protect her personal time entirely valid? Let’s examine her situation and determine if her position is warranted.

‘ Need advice. My fiance (58 m) expects me (54 f)to make him a full course breakfast during the work week. Are there women who work FT who have time to cook a full breakfast for their man before they start work?’

Expert Opinion

“Establishing healthy routines and clear boundaries in a relationship is crucial, especially when both partners have demanding work schedules,” explains Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert featured in Psychology Today. In this scenario, the OP’s conflict with her fiancé centers around differing expectations for morning routines.

Dr. Orbuch points out that while eating together can improve relationships, it’s important not to prioritize this at the cost of your own health or free time. She also says, “If someone has to give up sleep or do things they don’t want to in order to please their partner, it could mean they need to rethink their limits.”

Dr. Orbuch elaborates that current relationships frequently necessitate adaptability and a division of labor. She asserts, “A mature individual ought to be able to make their own breakfast or locate a substitute, such as picking up a snack while out.” This viewpoint implies that the original poster’s wish to avoid being roused early to prepare an elaborate breakfast is not just sensible but also consistent with current ideas of fairness in domestic tasks.

Furthermore, she emphasizes that rigidly adhering to conventional gender roles may create avoidable animosity and inequity. Dr. Orbuch suggests, “It’s essential for each partner to articulate their requirements openly and collaborate to develop patterns that foster shared wellness.”

Furthermore, Dr. Orbuch recognizes the importance of personal variations in hunger and daily habits. She clarifies, “A substantial morning meal isn’t for everybody, and insisting on a regimen that clashes with your inherent tendencies can create needless anxiety.”

Therefore, the original poster’s inclination towards a less heavy option such as yogurt is perfectly reasonable. In the end, her choice to decline the pressure to prepare elaborate breakfasts during the work week is a personal one and a form of self-care, which deserves acknowledgment in any good relationship.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit users largely agree with the original poster’s viewpoint. Numerous commenters contend that a man of his age should be capable of making his own breakfast or figuring out another solution, particularly in this day and age. Several individuals highlighted that anticipating one’s partner to function as a private cook is indicative of antiquated gender dynamics, and if he genuinely wants that degree of attention, he should either acquire cooking skills or be prepared to compensate for it.

Some commenters went so far as to say that her fiancé’s requests seemed like he felt entitled, with several strongly suggesting that these kinds of expectations show he doesn’t value his partner’s time and health. The general feeling is that the original poster (OP) is justified in her actions—she’s just putting her own health and need for sleep ahead of a request that isn’t reasonable.

The central theme of this narrative revolves around navigating the equilibrium between individual desires and the demands of a relationship. The act of dividing duties can certainly fortify a union, but not if it compromises the health of either person. The original poster’s choice to decline early morning wake-up calls to prepare an elaborate breakfast is a contemporary and assertive decision, challenging conventional gender roles. Even though her fiancé’s response might stem from his own inclinations or previous life events, an authentic partnership involves embracing each other’s distinctiveness and decisions.

What would you do if you faced similar morning demands from a partner? Share your thoughts, experiences, and advice in the comments below!