AITAH for telling my husband’s affair baby’s family to either come get the kid or I’m calling CPS?

A woman recounted how her future ex-husband brought an infant home—the result of an extramarital relationship—and then left her to care for the child after a medical emergency. Although she initially consented to him and the baby residing in her house, stipulating she wouldn’t be involved, his heart attack has rendered him incapable of looking after the baby.

Upon contacting the child’s maternal grandparents, she was met with disapproval for her perceived lack of warmth towards the baby. This was despite her not feeling responsible for a child born from her husband’s infidelity. With her own children also expressing their opinions, she now questions whether her response was overly severe.

‘AITAH for telling my husband’s affair baby’s family to either come get the kid or I’m calling CPS?’

Coping with the emotional fallout from infidelity and unforeseen obligations can be draining. Here, the Reddit user is grappling with the difficulty of looking after a child that isn’t hers, a consequence of her husband’s affair. It’s crucial to understand that although the child is blameless, the Reddit user is not required to take on parental duties for a child conceived through her husband’s infidelity.

Relationship specialist Dr. Jennifer Finney says that “Setting limits to safeguard one’s emotional health is essential, particularly while navigating the fallout from adultery.” The Redditor in this case has made her limits plain by declaring she won’t look after the child and is filing for divorce.

The user’s choice to reach out to the child’s mother’s parents was the right thing to do. It falls upon the natural parents, or their relatives, to provide care for the child. By giving the grandparents a specific time frame to take responsibility for the child, she made certain that the child would be looked after.

The grandparents’ response, which involved reprimanding the Redditor for their perceived lack of empathy, is an understandable emotional reaction. However, it doesn’t alter the fact that the Redditor is under no compulsion to provide childcare. It is crucial to recognize the intricate emotional dynamics at play, while still upholding the importance of personal boundaries.

In romantic connections, especially those marred by unfaithfulness, it’s vital to establish and uphold boundaries to protect one’s own well-being. The user’s behavior demonstrates a positive way of handling a challenging circumstance by putting her own needs first and getting assistance from the right relatives.

Update here: https://aita.pics/jRDqs

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit audience generally sided with the original poster’s choice. As one person put it, “You’re NTA. That kid wasn’t your problem. Sure, they didn’t do anything wrong, but you have no obligation to raise them.” Another person chimed in with, “NTA. It sounds like everyone’s trying to pass the buck to you. The baby belongs with family. You’re not heartless for not wanting to take care of them.”

These answers reveal the community’s shared perspective: while the child bears no fault, the original poster (OP) is not required to provide care for a child conceived through her husband’s infidelity. The prevalent view is that the duty rests with the child’s biological parents or their respective relatives.