AITA for cancelling thanksgiving dinner after my family refused to follow one simple rule?

A mother on Reddit recounts her Thanksgiving predicament: because her child’s immunity is compromised, she requested that relatives not attend the holiday meal if they were experiencing any symptoms of illness. Rather than being sympathetic, certain relatives resisted, which led her to call off the event entirely. Did she overreact, or was it essential to safeguard her child?

‘ AITA for cancelling thanksgiving dinner after my family refused to follow one simple rule?’

For many years, I have always been the Thanksgiving host. I truly enjoy preparing food and having all my family together. However, this year, because my youngest has a medical issue that compromises their immunity, our doctors have recommended we be extremely careful about exposure to people with any signs of illness.

I simply asked in our family’s online conversation that anyone experiencing illness or showing signs of a cold not attend our annual dinner. I considered it a minor request – merely a safeguard for my kid’s well-being. However, some relatives became indignant when I mentioned it.

They argued that a minor cold wasn’t a valid reason to skip Thanksgiving and that my reaction was excessive. Some even quipped that I’d kick anyone who sneezed out of the house.

After my attempts to clarify the situation were met with indifference, I opted to call off Thanksgiving dinner at my home following some debate. I informed everyone that if they wished to celebrate together, they would need to find another location.

Some relatives are now furious, claiming I overreacted and wrecked Thanksgiving with a “ridiculous regulation.” Others believe I’m penalizing everyone because they didn’t meet my “expectations.” I was just trying to keep my kid safe, but now I’m second-guessing my decision. Was I wrong to call off dinner rather than chance someone becoming ill?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

WizardOfWubWub −  NTA. Plenty of time anyway for them to come up with a new plan.

ChickSec −  NTA. Like you say, you’re protecting your child. Imagine your child getting super sick because a family member brought a cold to your home, then how would they feel? They’re being s**fish, let them sort their own dinner.

Freeverse711 −  It’s literally still October, they have a month to plan Thanksgiving somewhere else. What entitled assholes, care more about a turkey than your kids health. NTA.

ImHappierThanUsual −  You need to be as dramatic as they are being. You don’t even need to be hyperbolic, just dramatize the truth!

“Are you saying you’re indifferent to whether my child survives or not? You’re willing to risk your Thanksgiving celebration to infect my child with your illnesses, just like the settlers decimated the Native American population? My child suffers from an autoimmune disorder! How would you feel if it was your own child at risk?”

FYourAppLeaveMeAlone −  NTA.The ableist assholes can cook their own dinner. Some families with immunosuppressed family members even isolate and wear masks before family gatherings! Wild, I know! What they are really saying is “I don’t give a s**t if your kid dies”. Believe them.

BrainySmurf −  NTA. “Since my child’s health is unimportant to some of you, we are standing behind our decision to not host Thanksgiving this year. It makes us sad that such a small, humane, request caused some to react so poorly. We’ve decided that it’s best we skip these family gatherings, our child’s health may not be important to some family members but it’s most important to us. ”

AshesB77 −  The fact that you had to even ask them is BS. No one should be visiting when sick even if it’s a cold. Considering they are family, they must know about your child and they are still arguing? They don’t deserve you. NTA.

Independent-Win9088 −  NTA. Someone brought me covid for Xmas 2022, and due to my autoimmune disease, I’ve been flared since. My rheumatologist can’t get it under control. We’re on a high dose of prednisone to keep my knees from swelling and immobilizing me, but all the biological injection meds we have tried aren’t working.

After two years of relying on a cane, being absent from my job, numerous doctor visits, co-payments, and weight increase resulting from prednisone, I am unable to walk more than 10 feet unaided. This is all because an individual prioritized Christmas over the well-being of others present.

I’m unsure if or when I’ll manage to get my life in order. To hell with them. Tell your incredibly selfish family to get lost, on my behalf.

MaliceIW −  NTA. My partner is immunocompromised due to a medical condition, so we have a similar rule for anyone coming round, and to inform us of being unwell if we’re meeting them out, as then my partner can decide if he wants to stay home so he doesn’t risk getting ill. And for the most part people comply because it is basic human decency and etiquette.

You should capture these comments as images and present them to your family, demonstrating that the vast majority of people consider them to be selfish, ignorant, and utterly foolish. To suggest that a roast turkey is of greater importance than ensuring a relative’s survival is simply repulsive.

Mother_Search3350 −  They’re not homeless…
Plenty of time for them to make other plans in their own homes.